Ruination: The Tempest - Results
Posted: Mon Sep 05, 2022 5:42 pm
ROUND 1
--------
--------
Lightweights
Pink Wedge vs. Burning Blue
Both bricks come out all bricked up (don't google that) and Pink Wedge immediately gets it's Overkill-lookin ass up in Burning Blue's face- uh, wait. no it doesn't. It tries to go for a flank instead. This doesn't work out great for Pat! Burning Blue finds an easy opening and takes it, flipping it up into the air multiple times. And since Pink Wedge's weight is all over the place from it being longer than a schoolbus, this is definitely NOT a good look in the eyes of the judges. Basically imagine that you throw a wet fish around a bunch, with it being all floppy and wiggly. That's how Pink Wedge looks right now.
Pat eventually gets his footing and- stop going for the side bro c'mon stop stop stop. Okay, I think he's starting to get that it's not working, because he immediately goes headfirst and slides right under Burning Blue. That hammer comes swinging in at a whopping force of two but at least gets a decent grip. Decent enough to earn Blue a trip to the hazards! Namely the saws, giving it a nice little scuff on the underside. From here things generally go in Pink Wedge's direction, the wedge is just heavier, the drivetrain's faster, and Burning Blue just doesn't have much of a weapon to counter with. After about a solid minute-and-a-half (maybe a 'lil more) of bullying and shoving, the buzzer sounds. Is it enough?! Let's go to the scorecard...
AGGRESSION-- 3-2 PINK WEDGE
DAMAGE------ 3-2 PINK WEDGE
CONTROL----- 3-2 PINK WEDGE
Pink Wedge wins by JD (9-6)
Venice Queen vs. Ayame
This is a very challenging fight to write for my first match in years, but I guess there’s something to be said for diving straight into the deep end right? As an authors note, I want to comment on the notion of Ayame’s flipper running out of flips. I honestly can’t recall that a weapon running out of power for reasons outside of accumulating damage ever being a thing in ARC in all the time I was on the active staff. If something has changed in the last couple years to that effect and I’ve overlooked it, by all means let me know. For what it’s worth, in this particular fight I’d argue that at 2 weapon power it’s probably unlikely that Ayame is going to use up all it’s weapon battery power unless Alex was allowed to continuously fire off the flipper uninterrupted for the entire duration of the match. On to the actual fight now!
I’m pointedly reminded of classic Barrier/Shockwave fights here, except I think these to bots are even faster. As a testament to this fact, both bots speed out of their squares aggressively and meet near the center of the arena amazingly quickly. The slight speed advantage and a more direct approach allow VQ to make the first successful wedging of the match. VQ looks flip Ayame quickly, but Ayame is no sloth and manages to retreat enough so that VQ doesn’t have enough of Ayame’s mass on the flipper to come close to an inversion. Ayame uses the precious few moments while VQ is resetting from the flipper to sneak in and try a flip of their own. The result ends up being pretty much a mirror of the first encounter, with VQ getting popped up a bit more owing to the slight extra power Ayame’s flipper has. The fight stalemates in this fashion for the next 30-ish seconds as both bots are very determined to try and flip the other over, but neither is able to really get that one big solid flip in. VQ decides to change course and backs off the aggressive approach. Ayame comes in and… VQ just barely manages to get totally clear of Ayame’s flip attempt thanks to its amazing speed. VQ manages to take advantage of this momentary vulnerability and gets under Ayame while it is recovering. The first full on flip of the match belongs to VQ. Ayame ends up flat on its back, but before you can say “SUBS vs. DUBS”, Ayame has fired the flipper and flops right side up again. VQ hasn’t been idle however and quickly shoves the recovering Ayame over the killsaws. An impressive shower of sparks ensues, but Ayame manages to get juggled away from VQ, so there isn’t much chance for a quick follow up attack. Ayame is really looking to make up for lost time and strategically places itself near the saws. VQ comes around looking to continue the offensive and some quick maneuvering on Ayame’s part allows it to wedge under VQ and get in a good solid flip of its own. VQ makes a hasty retreat to both get clear of the hazard and to try and get some space to self-right. Inevitably, the delay cause by self-righting gives Ayame a chance to wedge and flip again. Ayame then gets to flip VQ against the arena wall and is able to pin VQ down for a spell. After the mandated time passes and Ayame has to back off, the fight continues on in a pretty back and forth fashion. With the end of the match quickly approaching, both bots dial up the aggression looking to make that one last big impact move to seal the deal, however there are no more major tide shifts in this one here.
Aggression: 8-7 Venice Queen
Damage: 8-7 Venice Queen
Strategy: 8-7 Ayame
Venice Queen wins 23-22
Failure Duplicator vs. Scrapper
The match starts, and it’s spinner vs. spinner so both bots are taking their time getting all three weapons up to speed. That’s right, three, because Failure Duplicator has two, an eggbeater spinner on one end and an undercutter, so it’ll be interesting to see which one it wants to use. It looks like it’s leading with the undercutter, possibly trying to take out the support forks for Scrapper’s drum. It twists to the side but isn’t quite quick enough, and they hit weapon-to-weapon! Bang, both bots get knocked back hard! Scrapper slides about ten feet back on its rear wedge, while Failure Duplicator goes pirouetting around on its side skirt.
Both bots seem to still be functional though, and they come in again. FD didn’t like the look of that and backs off, Scrapper’s chasing after it, but it comes in again, and there’s another big impact. This time no sparks until FD clips the floor as it recoils, but Scrapper’s been sent spinning around on its side, and something hit the side of the arena really hard.
Failure Duplicator is still working, Scrapper is still working but it seems lopsided, and tips forward making the drum gouge into the floor. And it looks like Scrapper’s lost one of its front forks, and having some issues maneuvering without hitting the floor as a result – no, there’s a huge chunk just snapped out of the left frame rail! This bot can easily flip itself over with gyro forces and run inverted, but Tri isn’t going for it and is just trying to keep Scrapper lined up without tipping. It’s doing some gyrodancing keeping the bad fork off the ground, but Failure Duplicator is hanging back, not wanting to engage with a machine that’s moving unpredictably like that. It comes down and goes for another hit - and it’s a massive one! Both bots are flung violently across the box. There’s another big gouge out of Scrapper’s other frame rail. It’s not torn off, but it looks like it might be bent or twisted.
Meanwhile Failure Duplicator has pulled the Fusion Dance (no, not the Dragonball Z one) and flipped itself upside down. The weapon is now an overcutter, which should make it easier for Scrapper to get a big uppercut on, but Scrapper’s weapon seems to have stopped. Which Failure Duplicator takes a bit to notice, because it’s busy driving into the wall trying to flip itself back over, until somebody points out that its opponent has no weapon, and it just smacks it again. Scrapper’s drum takes the hit and gets a nasty gouge, but it’s still moving. Ahh, but Failure Duplicator now lets its weapon stop and spin the other way, and goes for a big coup de grace shot. Scrapper gets launched a good five feet in the air, and either the top or the bottom panel is loose on it. Failure Duplicator is still spinning and… that’s a tap out from Scrapper.
Your winner, by knockout in 1:12, is Failure Duplicator!
25 or 64 to 4 vs. Flipkick
Oh my. A hammersaw vs a drisc. You'd think this would be exciting, right? And... actually, it sort of lives up to the hype. See, HFL starts the match with the saw facing away from Drew's bot. How rude. You never face away from your opponent! Such dishonour. Well, Drew comes out with 25 or 64 to 4 and tries to hit Flipkick's saw. Except he can't, because it's on the other side of the bot. Oh wait, it's being brought over now as HFL tries to hit 25 or 64 to 4's chassis. Well that's not going to work, at least not yet, because 25 or 64 to 4 gives Flipkick its own nomenclature back to it by flipkicking the flipkicker backwards, not doing any real damage but scoring some aggression points. Okay, that didn't work. HFL tries again, but 25 or 64 to 4 is just too quick and knocks Flipkick away, although Flipkick angled away this time so it didn't get punted into the wall, and runs to mid-arena with 25 or 64 to 4 chasing it down. With careful aim this time, Flipkick brings the saw down and manages to strike direct chassis this time, even as 25 or 64 to 4 takes another (ineffective) bite out of Flipkick's own. One of the blue panels on top of 25 or 64 to 4, connected to the drisc supports, just crumples like tinfoil as 25 or 64 to 4 is slammed into the ground by the force of both that and its own hit against Flipkick. This sort-of double impact stuns 25 or 64 to 4 long enough for Flipkick to recover and try coming in again. This time Flipkick gets a clean hit without retaliation, tearing the chassis and nearly ripping off one of the side scoops. However, 25 or 64 to 4 still seems to have full drive and now moves forward again, knocking Flipkick silly. We are then treated to a wonderful montage of 25 or 64 to 4 punting Flipkick all around the Battlegrounds arena before the latter can bring the saw down properly. Over time the back and underside of Flipkick bears all sorts of nicks and paint scratches, but it's still barely even cosmetic damage. HFL even tries to go absolutely batshit with Flipkick and drive around at random, but 25 or 64 to 4 is still able to juggle him reasonably well, although there is a very close call when, during one such contest, the saw of Flipkick barely just missed grazing the upper support of 25 or 64 to 4.
However, eventually Flipkick finally gets it together and manages to sneak in a devastating blow, getting the previously damaged side and tearing it straight open, exposing the inner workings of Drew's lightweight, even as 25 or 64 to 4 catapults Flipkick away in response. At that moment, 25 or 64 to 4's drive begins to fail it and its mobility is significantly reduced, as it tries to chase after Flipkick but is now outsped by a fair margin. Still wary of being punted around, Flipkick tries going after the side of the wounded 25 or 64 to 4, but time isn't in his favour and the buzzer goes off just before he gets the hit he wants. Welp, to the judges we go.
Aggression: 11-4 25 or 64 to 4 (yeah try making sense of that)
Damage: 13-2 Flipkick
Strategy: 8-7 Flipkick
Flipkick wins by a 25-20 judges' decision.
Whipscorpion vs. I Can't Believe It's Not Tanto
In comes a big rush from Tanto as Whipscorpion begins to spin up. But before he is able to reach that top speed, he is met with the wedge of Tanto. Whipscorpion attempts to push away from tanto, and it becomes loosened but is still slightly stuck. Another punch breaks it free, and sends it flying to the other corner. It begins to spin up again and reaches max speed as Tanto tries to stuff it again. It doesn't succeed however, as it instead takes a hit from the underside of the wedge, causing that side to get fairly dented. However, this hit also sends WS flying and into another wall. It tries driving away, although a bit sloppily to spin up again, but this time Tanto is ready and makes a run towards it. It gets underneath and begins sending it towards the pulverizer. The puncher fires to distance itself, but it's only able to move it's body backwards with the puncher still stuck on the wedge. It takes three hits from the pulverizer, and then is finally able to wiggle itself free. Under a minute to go and WS gets a decent amount of distance after a few tussles where small hits send it flying and Tanto tries to chase after it. Towards the end Tanto attempts to tank another hit from the fast spinning Whipscorpion. However this shot is lined up perfectly by Bob, reaching over the bumper and slicing right through a tire! Tanto goes spinning and begins to hobble looking for another opening until the buzzer sounds
Aggression: 10-5 Tanto
Damage: 13-2 Whipscorpion
Control: 12-3 Tanto
I Can't Believe It's Not Tanto wins 24-21!
----
Middleweights
Bite Me vs. Black Hazard
Hot damn! Pat finally has pictures that are in focus! Then again, his RP references things like a “peed” stat (presumably an indication of how much he drinks his fluids) and Hazard became Hazord (presumably an indication that he’s now sponsored by Saban Entertainment). Black Hazard correctly anticipates Bite Me’s box rush and this allows him to fend off any potential crushing attempt. What we get is a weapon on weapon contact that gives off a crowd pleasing shower of sparks and flings both bots away violently. Black Hazard is fairly content to play this game and does a pretty good job of feeding his weapon into Bite Me’s face. As you might expect this has a much more negative cumulative effect on Bite Me than it does Black Hazard. Ultimately it ends up being just a matter of time until Black Hazard lands a solid hit on the less durable main chassis of Bite Me and soon thereafter he’s down for the long count.
Black Hazard wins by KO in 1:38
Apeirogon vs. TD
Apeirogen crawls its way towards the center. Tiki Dude does the same, while spinning up its weapon. Apeirogen strafes sideways as Toxic attempts to turn and reach him before bad things happen. Eventually Apeirogen is able to get itself into the right position and fires. In a work of gracefulness, Tiki Dude is able to gyro away from the first and second shot. Apeirogen is forced to reposition again as Tiki Dude continues to draw near, drum now at a low hum. Tiki Dude attempts to dodge another attack as he moves closer. Apeirogen fires another shot before it is able to grow again, hitting the drum of Tiki Dude. This puts a reasonable dent in the drum, making it harder to spin up. However, this shot also managed to bounce back, hitting Apeirogen square on the right side of the wedge, nearly separating the wedge entirely from its hinges and leaving it a bent mess. Tiki Dude is now struggling to stay up on 2 wheels and is trying to stay away from that gun. Another shot to the drum breaks it completely and breaks it from one side. One more shot 20 seconds later finally hits a corner on the front of Tiki Dude stopping it in its tracks
Apeirogen wins by KO in 1:41
Containment Breach vs. Skoll
It's always funny how much of an obligation I feel to adhere to my previous writing style. I'm so afraid of branching out, and writing these the way my voice says they should be written now. I suppose, I'm afraid that it won't be much of a read.
Blue square's got Skoll in it. I'm always disappointed when HFL doesn't bring out the scythe blade, that thing's a hell of a looker. Red square's got containment breach. I'm always a sucker for Duck wedges, but I'd generally prefer to see one without forks, for a spinner.
Right off the bat Containment Breach goes for the rush, and right off the bat skoll runs away. Containment Breach is freakishly stable out there though, and TDG reacts to Skoll's change in direction and is able to continue to hassle the spinner as it tries to get something going. HFL decides to stand and fight, even with the weapon only partially to speed. And to his credit, he does slap containment breach away, though the wedgebot is on him again before he can spin up.
Clang. Clang Clang, goes the repeated slapping of weapon against fork as skoll fights for space, fights for time, fights for center stage. But it's not getting any of those things. No, not in this part of the match. Instead it's getting a date with an arena hazard. It proves very hard for skoll to escape this precarious situation, trapped between a hammer and a wedge. To HFL's credit he almost manages to get on top of Containment breach once, but the wedgebot just used its lifter to slap him back into place.
The bots are forced to separate eventually, but this still leaves skoll at a distinct disadvantage. To HFL's credit, his hits are very effective… at separating the two bots. The forks are showing battle scars - silver through the black - but they don't look too bad, yet. But, each hit is on a sharp edged corner, flinging the two bots away with every hit, hindering containment breach's attempts to close in. Not hindering it well enough, though it would seem, as we get a full pin coming into the 2 minute mark.
Both bots are starting to show battle scars, now. HFL seems to have been successfully targeting one of the forks, which is notably twisted and not running even to the ground, which is certainly making driving a bit more challenging for TDG. But Skoll's weapon is taking a lot longer to come up to speed: a lot of spinners build assuming they can win quickly with their massive weapons, but this comes at a cost if a bot can endure the beating. This last minute is ALL about endurance. Skoll is still getting too harried to really take space and threaten consistent full-power contact on engagements - but containment breach isn't closing the gap as effectively with the fork hindering its movement. So the two bots duke it out like two klingons arguing over a woman. No more pins to close out the match - just hit after hit after hit after hit until the bell finally rings.
Aggression: 3-2 Containment Breach
Damage: 3-2 Skoll
Control: 4-1 Containment Breach
Final judgment 9-6 in favor of Containment Breach.
MORE PUZZLES vs. No Tomorrow
Grab your popcorn, some bot is going to blow up in no time. Or at least it would be in no time if these bots' handling wasn't so bad, though is more like one bot is hilariously bad and the other one is just meh-. Still someone is going to blow up
Anyways the first encounter happens after quite a few seconds it really is just MORE PUZZLES trying to have any resemblance of control while No Tomorrow waits at a safe distance to try to approach safely. Some awkward seconds later No Tomorrow finds a window and goes for the hit but MORE PUZZLES does manage (probably just dumb luck) to quickly turn and land his spinner on top of No Tomorrow's own and we get a nice weapon to weapon hit, No tomorrow slides back a few meters while doing donuts while MORE PUZZLES is seen flying and doing several flips, bounces against a wall and lands perfectly upright facing it's opponent somehow.
Soon we enter round 2. No Tomorrow attacks more aggressively, MORE PUZZLES does dodge a few attacks thanks to its gyroing out of stuff (all luck no skill :V) until they do actually make contact, unsurprisingly weapon to weapon again considering the proportions of these bots. Yeah MORE PUZZLES goes somersaulting and bounces many more times before landing relatively stable.
They start approaching for r3 and... nope nvm MORE PUZZLES hits the floor and gets yeeted very far away. Actual round 3 involves even more dancing until yet again weapon to weapon hit and the ridiculous contraption flying some more. No Tomorrow seems more damaged than it's opponent but both of them appear to still be functional.
For round 4 No Tomorrow finds a clear path to MORE PUZZLES's ass and goes for it and misses completely, the disco floor contraption is quick to turn back for a easy shot and... hits the floor right past No Tomorrow and completely wastes the opportunity, bummer.
After nearly having a heart attack, our french driver rushes to get a quick and easy hit in the ass but no MORE PUZZLES ends up forcing a weapon to weapon hit again (rng gaming). puzzly boy flies some more and it seems like the weapon on No Tomorrow isn't spinning so that is really bad, like really reall... nvm it works now.
Both of them approach for round i-lost-count-already, MORE PUZZLES tries some more if its gyro nonsense and just turns too much, hits the floor, and throws itself right into No Tomorrow's weapon and something flies off. After the somersaulting ends we can see that MORE PUZZLES only has one leg now, luck running out?
If you thought that it's handling couldn't get worse you have been proven wrong, No Tomorrow has no way of taking advantage of this because MORE PUZZLES keeps hitting the floor and flying off somewhere else. This goes on and on, it's honestly getting boring by now. It can't really get counted out as it does move in a rather controlable fashion between each self flip
After lots and lots of bouncing MORE PUZZLES yeets itself into the other spinner in the arena finally and it seem to be weapon to weapon by some miracle. After that last hit MORE PUZZLES goes back to its regularly scheduled programming and No Tomorrow's weapon is not working again. Is it dead for good now? idk the 3 minute timer just ran out.
Aggression: 10-5 No Tomorrow
Damage: 9-6 MORE PUZZLES
Strategy: 9-6 No Tomorrow
No Tomorrow wins by a 25-20 judges' decision
Disposal Unit vs. The Act of Being Polite
Hey look, late RP. Guess Jack's shit out of luck. Except not, because I'm not going to ostracize him for things out of his control. By the way, I should mention that I fucking love Disposal Unit. Its drum weapon reminds me of those huge industrial grinders at my previous workplace that instantly ground plastic bottles into mush. They also got jammed when assholes were too lazy to throw gigantic fucking chunks of melted, hardened plastic into the proper bins and instead chucked them into the grinders, causing them to stop, burn the belts and smoke up the entire plant for hours at a time. Gotta love that.
Anyway, I was about to write a fantasy robot combat fight, but memories of work distracted me. Right. Ethan and Jack nod respectfully at each other as the middleweights with the big-ass spinning weapons approach each other. Jack looks to be goading Ethan into oversteering his bot, although with just as much a difference between his speed and traction, he's not exactly immune to that himself. He seems to be banking more upon The Act of Being Polite's shape lending it to such an effect. Well, let's see... well Jack definitely has more control over his robot, although he seems to be gyro'ing very, very slightly even when he turns. To his credit, Ethan actually is finding it tricky to control his spinner as well, but he's hanging in there. Which ties into the first collision of the match. Disposal Unit tries going around the spinning bar and then quickly juking about to get at the side pod. But as it does so, Jack quickly has to readjust his robot so it doesn't gyro, and while The Act of Being Polite nearly swoops side-on to Disposal Unit's front, it turns forward into Disposal Unit's direction, trying to hit it. There is a satisfying BANG as the bar makes contact with that big industrial grinder I mentioned above, and I bet the workers having to clean up the arena afterwards are going to have a field day as the grinder is immediately halted and the smell of burnt rubber belt plagues the arena. Or maybe it doesn't. I doubt the belts running Disposal Unit's weapon are as big and heavy as the ones on the grinders. They were at least 15 metres long and about 5 inches wide. Yes, I used metric and imperial units in the same sentence. Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters?
Probably not, since there's a match still going on. And the aftermath of the collision is that Disposal Unit has a gouge in its drum while The Act of Being Polite has been pinged all the way across the arena, a small chip out of the bar taken. That's a 3-point to a 1-point disparity for ya. As it is, when Disposal Unit tries spinning up, the grinder appears to be jittering a little. However, it's still working fine in essence anyway, and it doesn't seem to be impeding Disposal Unit's drivetrain any more than it was before. So Jack's still game, and his bot comes back into mid-arena as The Act of Being Polite tries to regain its bearings. It begins spinning up again, but by the time it's fully up to speed Jack has cornered it. He employs the same tactic he did before, with Ethan having less room to maneouvre. The problem is that Jack still doesn't have the best control over his robot either, and as he has more of a chance to hit one of The Act of Being Polite's wheels, Ethan is able to swivel his bot just enough so that the huge-ass spinning bar manages to clip one of Disposal Unit's support teeth, immediately destroying it. It's probably what would happen if I took that tooth and threw it into one of the industrial grinders. Good shit. Anyway, while it doesn't knock Disposal Unit far, it has the huge effect of not allowing Jack to turn Disposal Unit in one direction, lest Disposal Unit gyro enough for the drum to hit the ground. So he's immediately faced with a problem. And to make matters worse, he's faced with another. The Act of Being Polite comes in on him again, so he's forced to go weapon-to-weapon on him. More of the drum gets carved into as both bots get sent wacky by the hit, and The Act of Being Polite is thrown directly into the corner, where the spiky hammer hazard lands on him, putting a sizable hole in the chassis. That hadda hurt.
But whatever happened to Ethan's bot, it's clear that Jack is not having a good time. The drum of Disposal Unit is now forced to spin at a lower speed so Jack can keep the bot under control, both from the damage and from the missing foot. Sensing victory, Ethan drives his pounded bot out of the pulverizer corner, weapon spinning back up to speed, and Jack just goes for the Hail Mary approach at this point, spinning the drum back to full speed despite the stability problems. Disposal Unit is already madly twitching before The Act of Being Polite makes contact with it... and oh wait. The Act of Being Polite actually hit the other support. Well that was anti-climactic. Or not. Disposal Unit isn't exactly tipping drum first into the ground... but nor does it look even remotely stable anymore. It tries to turn, but now gyros in earnest, and The Act of Being Polite takes advantage by slamming the bar straight into its face. With that, there is now a sizable chunk taken out of The Act of Being Polite's bar, but Disposal Unit's drum took it on the side and has nearly been dislodged from the axle, dragging on the ground and is in no shape or form able to work any further in this match. With a minute left to go in the match, Jack taps out to spare his robot from any further damage. And maybe to spare the crewbots from any further cleanup. Break out the air fresheners.
The Act of Being Polite wins by a knockout in 2:03.
----
Heavyweights
Fork The Wind vs. 2-face
Spinner vs brick. The classic matchup. Oh wait, this spinner isn't your typical 16-power piece of crap? Golly gee wilikers. And honestly, you know what? Pat's plan seems pretty solid. Admittedly, it takes a while to get going, because TurtleBack is making life really horrible for him with his better drivetrain and able to outmaneovure the forks reasonably well. Fork The Wind takes some hazard damage for a little while, but eventually he's able to get in a pretty damn good hit that immediately inverts 2-face and, without an invertible wedge to work with, 2-face is pretty much a dead duck. Well, not quite, because it can still try to angle in on Fork The Wind, but it has incredibly limited success. It can push Pat's robot for maybe a few seconds before Fork The Wind readjusts itself and gets the spinner in, knocking 2-face away and then following it up with several more hits front-on. Eventually TurtleBack just gets tired of this and stuffs the inverted wedges down Pat's throat. No, not literally. I meant his bot, fools! I think he was hoping to jam Pat's spinner and push it that way, but Fork The Wind just simply gets under and has a fun time pushing 2-face around before 2-face uses its better drivetrain to escape.
And really, that's pretty much all notes of relevance for this fight. 2-face controlled the first minute, but it went completely Fork The Wind from the moment 2-face was flipped. And now the buzzer goes off and forces me to make a decision. Fuck you I won't do what you tell me. How ironic. I'll leave you with that thought. And reference.
Aggression: 8-7 Fork The Wind
Damage: 8-7 2-face
Strategy: 12-3 Fork The Wind
Fork The Wind wins by a 27-18 judges' decision.
Chimera vs. Greenwar
"On mobile, sorry cutie no stats"
nope. you lose, bye bye. green war wins by DQ (0:00)
OK but actually both robots come out of the gate and Chimera pretty immediately takes control of things. Not in a "oooh look at that SLAM against the wall" kinda way, but Chimera is able to poke its nose in enough to keep Greenwar penned into a single spot. This goes on for at least a solid 45 seconds with Greenwar waiting for the slip-up, but it's just not happening. Boring stuff.
However, Chimera eventually slides in on the left side of Greenwar's forks, and... kinda(?) lifts it. Just with the tip, leaving Greenwar's center of gravity juuust out of reach for Chimera to really dig in. Overbalancing slightly, Chimera backs off after a half-hearted effort and tries to go in again. It's subsequent attempts are a lot more successful, leading to it eventually SLAMMING- ehh more like "pushing" Greenwar against the wall.
The edge goes to Chimera for most of the fight... but not triumphantly. VQ plays it really safe, leaving both the judges and audience a little miffed. But hey, if it works it works. Greenwar's spinner ends up being too high to really catch onto anything outside of whacking against the fork ends a few times. It causes some scratching and denting, but not nearly enough to wow anyone before the buzzer goes off.
AGGRESSION-- 4-1 CHIMERA
DAMAGE------ 3-2 GREENWAR
CONTROL----- 4-1 CHIMERA
GREEN------- 5-0 GREENWAR
Chimera wins by JD (10-5)
Taisabachi vs. Powerdrive
Powerdrive spins up and moves forward, aiming for the sides of Taisabachi. It is unsuccessful in this endeavor, as it is flipped by Taisabachi and is now on it's back. It attempts to self right but is then tossed into a wall. He then pins the bot as it eventually gets itself over and in a position where it slowly slides away from Taisabachi. It now aims for the flipper portion. While Taisabachi is able to get under the spinner, this causes the bot to shake a bit and lose some paint on the flipper. This goes on for a bit where Powedrive is able to take some chip damage on his opponent while Taisabachi occasionally gets under and flips them, each one occasionally getting an advantage against the other.
Aggression: 8-7 Powerdrive
Damage: 9-6 Powerdrive
Control: 10-5 Taisabachi
Taisabachi wins 23-22
Rampage vs. Compound Fracture
Look what we have here, the mighty HFL and his... enhanced wedge vs TDG and his actual fucking Battlebot. That's right, someone took an actual robot and put it in a crappy ARC tournament. Any-who, we have a match to run. The box is locked, the lights are on, it's robot fighting time! Almost immediately do we see HFL go full send across the box, trying to pull the angles on Rampage. Dan, however, backs off and angles in between the wedgelets, giving him a free shot on Compound Fracture, which seems to mainly just pop CF into the air. Lucky for HFL, the small hit seems to have given distance between the two. TDG goes in to try and chain hits, but HFL backs off and positions his front to be square to Rampage. Guess what happens now? Woahhhh, the wedgelets get under the wedge. Compound Fracture pushes Rampage into the wall with relative ease, using a combination of the lifter and the wall to point the front of Rampage towards the sky, aaand it's upside down. TDG gets a moment of breath to try and self-right by slamming the wall, but he's unsuccessful as Compound Fracture goes back to smothering Rampage, taking it to the killsaws, which slices straight through the back left tire, causing foam to go everywhere (And the janitors to all sigh in disapproval). With 3 wheels left, TDG keeps attempting to ram into Compound Fracture just to cause some damage and to self-right for the next 30 seconds, but it starts to move in circles - which from what I know about basic geometry, is certainly not good. HFL now with the match to lose, takes Rampage over to the pulverizers, pinning it in place by making it do "the thing" on top of where the pulverizer rests. As Rampage gets counted out, TDG jokingly yells "rigged"
Winner: Compound Fracture by KO (1:27)
Omicron32 vs. Xtreme PneumatiX
Hello hi yes I am a sentient knife coming to you live from the commentator's booth.
This is a lot of two bots going head to head, both confident that their bot has the better wedge. To start with, omicron wins out. Looks like he got a slight angle on pneumatix's forks that let him get under the main body. Ethan does his best to escape, but unfortunately for him he's just shoved unceremoniously into a wall, where they stay for a good 10 seconds. Eventually ethan's able to start to wiggle free. He does get away eventually, but not before getting herded into a killsaw.
Back in neutral, the two bots go at it again, and this time Xtreme Pneumatix gets under, and tosses omicron up and over. What follows is a good 30 seconds of ethan trying to follow up on this advantage - but omicron is always just a little bit too slippery to end up anywhere too bad. Pneumatix gets in 2 more flips that knock the lifter up, but don't get him much space.
Eventually frog is able to get the lifter facing the right way before pneumatix comes back at him. Not that it does much good, and pneumatix slides right under and gets a gorgeous running flip into the wall. He's able to keep omicron penned in for another 10 seconds or so.
But then Omicron catches him by surprise. Again I think it ended up at a slight angle to Pneumatix. Frog's able to shove the flipper around a bit, but he's never able to really get the bot onto omicron's dustpan, and eventually Ethan is able to take a turn that frog doesn't anticipate, and wrest his bot free.
And he's right back on the offensive. This time he's able to get in 3 very impressive flips, and he's herded omicron into a hammer zone. It's not doing a whole lot, but we did edit in some funny cartoon noises for the home audiences to enjoy. Omicron attempts two counter-attacks to try and escape the corner, but neither succeeds, and he ends up pinned for quite a while in that corner.
The last 30 seconds of the fight are pretty inconclusive. Pneumatix whiffs a flip at one point, but everything else is pretty uneventful - though pneumatix does get off one more proper flip right as the buzzer hits.
Aggression: 3-2 Pneumatix
Damage: 3-2 Pneumatix
Control: 3-2 Omicron
Final decision is 8-7 in favor of Xtreme Pneumatix
----
Superheavyweights
Hartmann's Youkai Bot III vs. Boreas
Wow. I think this is my first result written for ARC in over... three years? Four? Since whatever the last result I wrote for Cherry Bomb Classic 3 was, anyway. Wow, time sure flies. Anyhoo, let's not stand upon ceremony here. We have a match to go over between two heavy-hitting superheavyweight spinners! The box is locked, the lights are on, and just like in the good ol' Comedy Central days, it's robot fightin' time!
Hartmann's Youkai Bot and Boreas begin the match like the big spinning mofos they are. How? By spinning up their weapons. Granted, it takes less time for Boreas to get up to full speed, but it's not like it's going to close the gap before Hartmann's Youkai Bot also achieves maximum... overdrive? Good god, I've already started with the nonsensical references. Anyway, Boreas decides it would be imperative to keep the plow underneath the drum facing Hartmann's Youkai Bot. It also decides ramming that plow directly into Hartmann's Youkai Bot's spinning death trap would also be a good use of its time. And that's exactly what it does. Before Hartmann's Youkai Bot can safely commandeer the center of the arena, Boreas trundles past the midpoint and we get our first shot of the match in a decent collision that sees both bots get knocked askew. Let's review the footage. Looks like Boreas did indeed take that one on the chin. Said chin isn't looking so hot with a sizable dent in it, but it's still holding up reasonably well. Hartmann's Youkai Bot also took it on the chin. Twice. First from a wedge, and then from a spinning drum. The drum caused barely any damage, mind you, but it did send Hartmann's Youkai Bot veering off towards the arena wall, though not quite making it. Boreas is spun around a bit by the hit so it has to get the drum facing again. Not that Hartmann's Youkai Bot isn't facing the same dilemma, and it looks like Boreas is going to recover first. The problem with that is Hartmann's Youkai Bot is already spinning back up just as Boreas puts the forward gears in motion again. It doesn't quite make it before Hartmann's Youkai Bot is back at full speed and it takes it on the chin again, while also uppercutting Hartmann's Youkai Bot directly into the wall this time. The plow wedge definitely has a slight break in it now, but it is absolutely still functional as a wedge, as Boreas proves by driving into Hartmann's Youkai Bot before it can go anywhere and mulches it against the wall, the wedge digging under Hartmann's Youkai Bot's giant 2-toothed blade.
HFL looks pleased as the drum of Boreas begins spinning up again, but it's not going to so easy to aim at the targets he wanted, namely the tires, as Hartmann's Youkai Bot is front-on to his bot right now. He tries to turn Boreas awkwardly, so as to try and nudge Hartmann's Youkai Bot aside, but the distance between the spinning drum and the disc of his opponent was closer than he thought and Boreas just ends up knocking Hartmann's Youkai Bot up against the wall again. This inadventantly means Hartmann's Youkai Bot falls directly on top of Boreas before the drum can spin back up again, and this leaves HFL with a predicament. Boreas isn't exactly a top-ranker in the pushing department, and it can't spin the drum up with its opponent on top of it. Not to worry, though; Tri takes matters out of HFL's hands by having one of Hartmann's Youkai Bot's wheels, catching the back end of Boreas, spin and drive itself off of Boreas in a sort of funky cartwheel. It drives off in reverse, determined to keep its front pointed at its fellow spinner as Boreas turns and tries to chase it down, spinning all the way back up. Luckily for Tri, Hartmann's Youkai Bot gets to its maximum speed JUST before Boreas catches it, and now part of the plow on Boreas is just completely gone. However, it does have the effect of knocking Hartmann's Youkai Bot across the arena, since Boreas managed to punt it with its drum again. With that, Hartmann's Youkai Bot is beginning to spin back up, picking up where it left off. Unfortunately for it, it's now running out of key places to hit on Boreas, as HFL just unceremoniously plows his bot into the spinning Tri-bot again and, while now losing the plow in earnest due to a lucky edge hit from Hartmann's Youkai Bot, once more throws Tri's bot into the wall where it can't spin up properly. Desperately trying to find something to hit on Hartmann's Youkai Bot that isn't disc, Boreas pops the big bot into the air while trying to get underneath and nibble at the wheels, but the matches closes before he can do anything of worth.
Aggression: 10-5 Boreas
Damage: 11-4 Hartmann's Youkai Bot III
Strategy: 9-6 Boreas
Boreas wins by a 23-22 split judges' decision.
Not So Huge vs. Anyone's Guess
The fight begins with both bots rushing forwards, Not So Huge with the spinner at full tilt while Anyone's Guess is approaching in reverse (egg side forwards). After a few seconds the egg is deployed, what does the egg do exactly is anyone's guess (ha!)
(half the audience laughs at the joke while the other half just sighs)
So anyways it is clear almost immediately clear that the plan is to tank at least a hit with the with the egg as that's exactly how it goes at first. The result is just that the egg gets launched to the other side of the arena with not much effect, it does at least slow down the weapon in Not So Huge a bit and lets Anyone's Guess get under and push it with the weapon NOT making Not So Huge bouncing off. drew does manage to get it under the hammer hazard and it does seem to do at least something to Not So Huge.
After the first encounter things do get a bit worse for Anyone's Guess as it can't afford to play fetch with the egg so it is forced to engage the spinner at full power which leads to it often bouncing off instead of just scraping it and letting drew control the fight.
As the fight keeps going Anyone's Guess's chasis keeps taking more damage and it can be seen on the chasis, particularly the top plate, though Not So Huge seems to be unable to get a good hit on the flat profile of Anyone's Guess. On the other team the wheels on Not So Huge are starting to get multiple cuts from the killsaws and a few dents from the hammers but also seems to be holding up fine.
After quite a while of this and the ocasional egg moment, Not So Huge lands a good hit, one of the shuffling bank things explodes and the top panel in Anyone's Guess gets bent up significantly and some inny bits are visible. That side still has 2 of those shuffler things and they do still work so not a really big deal.
Time is running out and the lifter isn't seen much action, it may be broken but its probably just not being used to not get it shredded. Not So Huge keeps getting wobblier and wobblier, the egg is slightly cracked but its still in one piece, the question marks on top of Anyone's Guess are almost completely deleted by now.
At the end pat manages to hit the exposed edge of the bent top panel and tears it off clean, clean as in nothing else gets torn off with it, bummer.
Aggression: 8-7 Anyone’s Guess
Damage: 10-5 Not So Huge
Strategy: 9-6 Anyone’s Guess
Not So Huge wins by a 23-22 split judges' decision.
Deep Dish Destruction vs. Power Bar
Deep Dish Destruction vs. Power Bar
Well there’s really only so much that can be said about fights like this. It’s more or less the diametric opposite of a fight like Ayame vs Venice Queen to where in a fight like that it’s a lot of complicated variables and strategies that make it complicated. This fight is just these two seeing who can murder the other more efficiently. DDD does his wonky starting strategy, but it doesn’t really affect things in any meaningful fashion. What’s important is that we get some really awesome weapon on weapon clashes that send both bots bouncing erratically around the arena. After several of these collisions, bot weapon systems are basically dead and they’re limited to attempting to sluggishly shove each other around. Obviously this part of the fight is nowhere near as exciting as the first part, but them’s the breaks.
Aggression: 8-7 Power Bar
Damage: 8-7 Deep Dish Destruction
Strategy: 8-7 Deep Dish Destruction
Deep Dish Destruction wins 23-22
Chieftain vs. Pathos
We’ve got two very powerful six-wheel-drive lifter bots with two different approaches to weapon design: Pathos has a pair of long lifting forks that can work in either front-hinged or rear-hinged mode, and Chieftain’s got a full lifting plow with some outrigger forks that can slide out.
And both are on each other pretty quickly. Chieftain tries to get around the lifter of Pathos, but does get scooped up by the forks and ramps up its wedgelets, ending up half on top of it. Pathos tries to take it to the pulverizer but Chieftain works itself free with the help of that fast, heavy plow. Neither bot wastes any time getting stuck until each other like, well… the British and the French. And this may well be a hundred years war, or at least a three minute one, because again Chieftain gets out-forked by the French cutlery, but Pathos can’t lift up fast enough to keep Chieftain on the wedge.
There’s another couple ramp-jumpings before Chieftain gets around the forks and actually gets under the wedgelets. And now, Chieftain’s little anti-monstertrucking prongs and Pathos’s limited ground clearance come into play, because it gets taken for a high-speed ride straight into the arena wall, and lifted as it does so. That’s a mighty slam, and Pathos goes over on its side, but does come down upright. Pathos gets under again and this time Chieftain doesn’t have space to escape before being mashed against the wall, but it does get free.
After a bit more of this Chieftain finally gets Pathos flipped. Pathos is invertable, and drives off to get some space, then starts trying to self-right with the forks… and Chieftain is not nice enough to wait around while its opponent high-centers itself for like five seconds, so Pathos is immediately taken into the pointy pulverizer, and takes a severe pounding in the corner while trying to climb free of Chieftain’s wedge, but Chieftain keeps scooping it up and disrupting it until the pin limit runs out, at which point Pathos decides that it’s better off fighting with slightly less effective wedges than trying to self-right with a slow lifter.
Now’s a good time to point out that I think Monster Jam’s on Channel 7 right now, and is pretty much the same thing: one machine ramping over the top of another. Pathos is getting under Chieftain a lot, but it’s having trouble capitalizing on it. It finally gets its forks hooked into something in Chieftain’s underside, and finally gets in a lift, then a violent wall-slam! Chieftain goes ass-over-teakettle. It gets back up before Pathos can come after it, but gets rammed before it can get the plow back over, and goes under a pulverizer! Chieftain raises its plow to block the shaft of the hammer, but Pathos has gotten into front-hinged mode and is trying to tip it over. But Chieftain gets traction and makes it off the wedge, and after a bit of harrying gets the plow down. This is some great action here! There’s some more ramping and shoving, but right before the bell Chieftain gets Pathos into a blunt pulverizer. It only gets one hit before time runs out, but the pointy hammer has put some dents in its baseplate earlier, and in a match like this that could be crucial.
Judges’ Decision:
Damage: Pathos 6, Chieftain 9
Aggression: Pathos 8, Chieftain 7
Control: Pathos 7, Chieftain 8
Your winner, by a 24-21 Judges’ Decision and a very hard-fought battle, is Chieftain!
Big Boy Flaily vs. Multicrap
Boy Flaily gets its retracted flails spun up. Multicrap closes it's clamps and spins up its disk as well and begins driving at an angle towards the front of BF. The flails begin to open outwards, and we see contact! Two big shots on the spinner support! The spinner is now struggling slightly to spin u. Boy Flaily also goes upward a bit from this hit, allowing Multicrap to get underneath with the lifter. However, it's not quite steep enough to keep BF from moving too much and a mixture of it's driving and it's flails retracting break it free from Multicrap, who just misses the lift. BF spins back up and tries again to hit the juicy bits on Multicrap. This time Multicrap is able to get under and begins lifting once more, but it still takes another shot from the flails in the process. BF is just at the right height to hit that spinner on Multicrap. However, this time BF nearly goes over, as it's flail bits the ground and sends it spinning, bouncing off a corner. It attempts to regroup and get it's flails back up to speed but Multicrap is drawing near. Two more close lifts that end up as strong hits on BF, both of them causing BF to go flying but the Boy just won't sit still! Eventually the buzzer sounds after some hot robot action.
Aggression: 10-5 Multicrap
Damage: 13-2 Boy Flaily
Control: 10-5 Multicrap
Big Boy Flaily wins 23-22
--------
--------
Lightweights
Pink Wedge vs. Burning Blue
Both bricks come out all bricked up (don't google that) and Pink Wedge immediately gets it's Overkill-lookin ass up in Burning Blue's face- uh, wait. no it doesn't. It tries to go for a flank instead. This doesn't work out great for Pat! Burning Blue finds an easy opening and takes it, flipping it up into the air multiple times. And since Pink Wedge's weight is all over the place from it being longer than a schoolbus, this is definitely NOT a good look in the eyes of the judges. Basically imagine that you throw a wet fish around a bunch, with it being all floppy and wiggly. That's how Pink Wedge looks right now.
Pat eventually gets his footing and- stop going for the side bro c'mon stop stop stop. Okay, I think he's starting to get that it's not working, because he immediately goes headfirst and slides right under Burning Blue. That hammer comes swinging in at a whopping force of two but at least gets a decent grip. Decent enough to earn Blue a trip to the hazards! Namely the saws, giving it a nice little scuff on the underside. From here things generally go in Pink Wedge's direction, the wedge is just heavier, the drivetrain's faster, and Burning Blue just doesn't have much of a weapon to counter with. After about a solid minute-and-a-half (maybe a 'lil more) of bullying and shoving, the buzzer sounds. Is it enough?! Let's go to the scorecard...
AGGRESSION-- 3-2 PINK WEDGE
DAMAGE------ 3-2 PINK WEDGE
CONTROL----- 3-2 PINK WEDGE
Pink Wedge wins by JD (9-6)
Venice Queen vs. Ayame
This is a very challenging fight to write for my first match in years, but I guess there’s something to be said for diving straight into the deep end right? As an authors note, I want to comment on the notion of Ayame’s flipper running out of flips. I honestly can’t recall that a weapon running out of power for reasons outside of accumulating damage ever being a thing in ARC in all the time I was on the active staff. If something has changed in the last couple years to that effect and I’ve overlooked it, by all means let me know. For what it’s worth, in this particular fight I’d argue that at 2 weapon power it’s probably unlikely that Ayame is going to use up all it’s weapon battery power unless Alex was allowed to continuously fire off the flipper uninterrupted for the entire duration of the match. On to the actual fight now!
I’m pointedly reminded of classic Barrier/Shockwave fights here, except I think these to bots are even faster. As a testament to this fact, both bots speed out of their squares aggressively and meet near the center of the arena amazingly quickly. The slight speed advantage and a more direct approach allow VQ to make the first successful wedging of the match. VQ looks flip Ayame quickly, but Ayame is no sloth and manages to retreat enough so that VQ doesn’t have enough of Ayame’s mass on the flipper to come close to an inversion. Ayame uses the precious few moments while VQ is resetting from the flipper to sneak in and try a flip of their own. The result ends up being pretty much a mirror of the first encounter, with VQ getting popped up a bit more owing to the slight extra power Ayame’s flipper has. The fight stalemates in this fashion for the next 30-ish seconds as both bots are very determined to try and flip the other over, but neither is able to really get that one big solid flip in. VQ decides to change course and backs off the aggressive approach. Ayame comes in and… VQ just barely manages to get totally clear of Ayame’s flip attempt thanks to its amazing speed. VQ manages to take advantage of this momentary vulnerability and gets under Ayame while it is recovering. The first full on flip of the match belongs to VQ. Ayame ends up flat on its back, but before you can say “SUBS vs. DUBS”, Ayame has fired the flipper and flops right side up again. VQ hasn’t been idle however and quickly shoves the recovering Ayame over the killsaws. An impressive shower of sparks ensues, but Ayame manages to get juggled away from VQ, so there isn’t much chance for a quick follow up attack. Ayame is really looking to make up for lost time and strategically places itself near the saws. VQ comes around looking to continue the offensive and some quick maneuvering on Ayame’s part allows it to wedge under VQ and get in a good solid flip of its own. VQ makes a hasty retreat to both get clear of the hazard and to try and get some space to self-right. Inevitably, the delay cause by self-righting gives Ayame a chance to wedge and flip again. Ayame then gets to flip VQ against the arena wall and is able to pin VQ down for a spell. After the mandated time passes and Ayame has to back off, the fight continues on in a pretty back and forth fashion. With the end of the match quickly approaching, both bots dial up the aggression looking to make that one last big impact move to seal the deal, however there are no more major tide shifts in this one here.
Aggression: 8-7 Venice Queen
Damage: 8-7 Venice Queen
Strategy: 8-7 Ayame
Venice Queen wins 23-22
Failure Duplicator vs. Scrapper
The match starts, and it’s spinner vs. spinner so both bots are taking their time getting all three weapons up to speed. That’s right, three, because Failure Duplicator has two, an eggbeater spinner on one end and an undercutter, so it’ll be interesting to see which one it wants to use. It looks like it’s leading with the undercutter, possibly trying to take out the support forks for Scrapper’s drum. It twists to the side but isn’t quite quick enough, and they hit weapon-to-weapon! Bang, both bots get knocked back hard! Scrapper slides about ten feet back on its rear wedge, while Failure Duplicator goes pirouetting around on its side skirt.
Both bots seem to still be functional though, and they come in again. FD didn’t like the look of that and backs off, Scrapper’s chasing after it, but it comes in again, and there’s another big impact. This time no sparks until FD clips the floor as it recoils, but Scrapper’s been sent spinning around on its side, and something hit the side of the arena really hard.
Failure Duplicator is still working, Scrapper is still working but it seems lopsided, and tips forward making the drum gouge into the floor. And it looks like Scrapper’s lost one of its front forks, and having some issues maneuvering without hitting the floor as a result – no, there’s a huge chunk just snapped out of the left frame rail! This bot can easily flip itself over with gyro forces and run inverted, but Tri isn’t going for it and is just trying to keep Scrapper lined up without tipping. It’s doing some gyrodancing keeping the bad fork off the ground, but Failure Duplicator is hanging back, not wanting to engage with a machine that’s moving unpredictably like that. It comes down and goes for another hit - and it’s a massive one! Both bots are flung violently across the box. There’s another big gouge out of Scrapper’s other frame rail. It’s not torn off, but it looks like it might be bent or twisted.
Meanwhile Failure Duplicator has pulled the Fusion Dance (no, not the Dragonball Z one) and flipped itself upside down. The weapon is now an overcutter, which should make it easier for Scrapper to get a big uppercut on, but Scrapper’s weapon seems to have stopped. Which Failure Duplicator takes a bit to notice, because it’s busy driving into the wall trying to flip itself back over, until somebody points out that its opponent has no weapon, and it just smacks it again. Scrapper’s drum takes the hit and gets a nasty gouge, but it’s still moving. Ahh, but Failure Duplicator now lets its weapon stop and spin the other way, and goes for a big coup de grace shot. Scrapper gets launched a good five feet in the air, and either the top or the bottom panel is loose on it. Failure Duplicator is still spinning and… that’s a tap out from Scrapper.
Your winner, by knockout in 1:12, is Failure Duplicator!
25 or 64 to 4 vs. Flipkick
Oh my. A hammersaw vs a drisc. You'd think this would be exciting, right? And... actually, it sort of lives up to the hype. See, HFL starts the match with the saw facing away from Drew's bot. How rude. You never face away from your opponent! Such dishonour. Well, Drew comes out with 25 or 64 to 4 and tries to hit Flipkick's saw. Except he can't, because it's on the other side of the bot. Oh wait, it's being brought over now as HFL tries to hit 25 or 64 to 4's chassis. Well that's not going to work, at least not yet, because 25 or 64 to 4 gives Flipkick its own nomenclature back to it by flipkicking the flipkicker backwards, not doing any real damage but scoring some aggression points. Okay, that didn't work. HFL tries again, but 25 or 64 to 4 is just too quick and knocks Flipkick away, although Flipkick angled away this time so it didn't get punted into the wall, and runs to mid-arena with 25 or 64 to 4 chasing it down. With careful aim this time, Flipkick brings the saw down and manages to strike direct chassis this time, even as 25 or 64 to 4 takes another (ineffective) bite out of Flipkick's own. One of the blue panels on top of 25 or 64 to 4, connected to the drisc supports, just crumples like tinfoil as 25 or 64 to 4 is slammed into the ground by the force of both that and its own hit against Flipkick. This sort-of double impact stuns 25 or 64 to 4 long enough for Flipkick to recover and try coming in again. This time Flipkick gets a clean hit without retaliation, tearing the chassis and nearly ripping off one of the side scoops. However, 25 or 64 to 4 still seems to have full drive and now moves forward again, knocking Flipkick silly. We are then treated to a wonderful montage of 25 or 64 to 4 punting Flipkick all around the Battlegrounds arena before the latter can bring the saw down properly. Over time the back and underside of Flipkick bears all sorts of nicks and paint scratches, but it's still barely even cosmetic damage. HFL even tries to go absolutely batshit with Flipkick and drive around at random, but 25 or 64 to 4 is still able to juggle him reasonably well, although there is a very close call when, during one such contest, the saw of Flipkick barely just missed grazing the upper support of 25 or 64 to 4.
However, eventually Flipkick finally gets it together and manages to sneak in a devastating blow, getting the previously damaged side and tearing it straight open, exposing the inner workings of Drew's lightweight, even as 25 or 64 to 4 catapults Flipkick away in response. At that moment, 25 or 64 to 4's drive begins to fail it and its mobility is significantly reduced, as it tries to chase after Flipkick but is now outsped by a fair margin. Still wary of being punted around, Flipkick tries going after the side of the wounded 25 or 64 to 4, but time isn't in his favour and the buzzer goes off just before he gets the hit he wants. Welp, to the judges we go.
Aggression: 11-4 25 or 64 to 4 (yeah try making sense of that)
Damage: 13-2 Flipkick
Strategy: 8-7 Flipkick
Flipkick wins by a 25-20 judges' decision.
Whipscorpion vs. I Can't Believe It's Not Tanto
In comes a big rush from Tanto as Whipscorpion begins to spin up. But before he is able to reach that top speed, he is met with the wedge of Tanto. Whipscorpion attempts to push away from tanto, and it becomes loosened but is still slightly stuck. Another punch breaks it free, and sends it flying to the other corner. It begins to spin up again and reaches max speed as Tanto tries to stuff it again. It doesn't succeed however, as it instead takes a hit from the underside of the wedge, causing that side to get fairly dented. However, this hit also sends WS flying and into another wall. It tries driving away, although a bit sloppily to spin up again, but this time Tanto is ready and makes a run towards it. It gets underneath and begins sending it towards the pulverizer. The puncher fires to distance itself, but it's only able to move it's body backwards with the puncher still stuck on the wedge. It takes three hits from the pulverizer, and then is finally able to wiggle itself free. Under a minute to go and WS gets a decent amount of distance after a few tussles where small hits send it flying and Tanto tries to chase after it. Towards the end Tanto attempts to tank another hit from the fast spinning Whipscorpion. However this shot is lined up perfectly by Bob, reaching over the bumper and slicing right through a tire! Tanto goes spinning and begins to hobble looking for another opening until the buzzer sounds
Aggression: 10-5 Tanto
Damage: 13-2 Whipscorpion
Control: 12-3 Tanto
I Can't Believe It's Not Tanto wins 24-21!
----
Middleweights
Bite Me vs. Black Hazard
Hot damn! Pat finally has pictures that are in focus! Then again, his RP references things like a “peed” stat (presumably an indication of how much he drinks his fluids) and Hazard became Hazord (presumably an indication that he’s now sponsored by Saban Entertainment). Black Hazard correctly anticipates Bite Me’s box rush and this allows him to fend off any potential crushing attempt. What we get is a weapon on weapon contact that gives off a crowd pleasing shower of sparks and flings both bots away violently. Black Hazard is fairly content to play this game and does a pretty good job of feeding his weapon into Bite Me’s face. As you might expect this has a much more negative cumulative effect on Bite Me than it does Black Hazard. Ultimately it ends up being just a matter of time until Black Hazard lands a solid hit on the less durable main chassis of Bite Me and soon thereafter he’s down for the long count.
Black Hazard wins by KO in 1:38
Apeirogon vs. TD
Apeirogen crawls its way towards the center. Tiki Dude does the same, while spinning up its weapon. Apeirogen strafes sideways as Toxic attempts to turn and reach him before bad things happen. Eventually Apeirogen is able to get itself into the right position and fires. In a work of gracefulness, Tiki Dude is able to gyro away from the first and second shot. Apeirogen is forced to reposition again as Tiki Dude continues to draw near, drum now at a low hum. Tiki Dude attempts to dodge another attack as he moves closer. Apeirogen fires another shot before it is able to grow again, hitting the drum of Tiki Dude. This puts a reasonable dent in the drum, making it harder to spin up. However, this shot also managed to bounce back, hitting Apeirogen square on the right side of the wedge, nearly separating the wedge entirely from its hinges and leaving it a bent mess. Tiki Dude is now struggling to stay up on 2 wheels and is trying to stay away from that gun. Another shot to the drum breaks it completely and breaks it from one side. One more shot 20 seconds later finally hits a corner on the front of Tiki Dude stopping it in its tracks
Apeirogen wins by KO in 1:41
Containment Breach vs. Skoll
It's always funny how much of an obligation I feel to adhere to my previous writing style. I'm so afraid of branching out, and writing these the way my voice says they should be written now. I suppose, I'm afraid that it won't be much of a read.
Blue square's got Skoll in it. I'm always disappointed when HFL doesn't bring out the scythe blade, that thing's a hell of a looker. Red square's got containment breach. I'm always a sucker for Duck wedges, but I'd generally prefer to see one without forks, for a spinner.
Right off the bat Containment Breach goes for the rush, and right off the bat skoll runs away. Containment Breach is freakishly stable out there though, and TDG reacts to Skoll's change in direction and is able to continue to hassle the spinner as it tries to get something going. HFL decides to stand and fight, even with the weapon only partially to speed. And to his credit, he does slap containment breach away, though the wedgebot is on him again before he can spin up.
Clang. Clang Clang, goes the repeated slapping of weapon against fork as skoll fights for space, fights for time, fights for center stage. But it's not getting any of those things. No, not in this part of the match. Instead it's getting a date with an arena hazard. It proves very hard for skoll to escape this precarious situation, trapped between a hammer and a wedge. To HFL's credit he almost manages to get on top of Containment breach once, but the wedgebot just used its lifter to slap him back into place.
The bots are forced to separate eventually, but this still leaves skoll at a distinct disadvantage. To HFL's credit, his hits are very effective… at separating the two bots. The forks are showing battle scars - silver through the black - but they don't look too bad, yet. But, each hit is on a sharp edged corner, flinging the two bots away with every hit, hindering containment breach's attempts to close in. Not hindering it well enough, though it would seem, as we get a full pin coming into the 2 minute mark.
Both bots are starting to show battle scars, now. HFL seems to have been successfully targeting one of the forks, which is notably twisted and not running even to the ground, which is certainly making driving a bit more challenging for TDG. But Skoll's weapon is taking a lot longer to come up to speed: a lot of spinners build assuming they can win quickly with their massive weapons, but this comes at a cost if a bot can endure the beating. This last minute is ALL about endurance. Skoll is still getting too harried to really take space and threaten consistent full-power contact on engagements - but containment breach isn't closing the gap as effectively with the fork hindering its movement. So the two bots duke it out like two klingons arguing over a woman. No more pins to close out the match - just hit after hit after hit after hit until the bell finally rings.
Aggression: 3-2 Containment Breach
Damage: 3-2 Skoll
Control: 4-1 Containment Breach
Final judgment 9-6 in favor of Containment Breach.
MORE PUZZLES vs. No Tomorrow
Grab your popcorn, some bot is going to blow up in no time. Or at least it would be in no time if these bots' handling wasn't so bad, though is more like one bot is hilariously bad and the other one is just meh-. Still someone is going to blow up
Anyways the first encounter happens after quite a few seconds it really is just MORE PUZZLES trying to have any resemblance of control while No Tomorrow waits at a safe distance to try to approach safely. Some awkward seconds later No Tomorrow finds a window and goes for the hit but MORE PUZZLES does manage (probably just dumb luck) to quickly turn and land his spinner on top of No Tomorrow's own and we get a nice weapon to weapon hit, No tomorrow slides back a few meters while doing donuts while MORE PUZZLES is seen flying and doing several flips, bounces against a wall and lands perfectly upright facing it's opponent somehow.
Soon we enter round 2. No Tomorrow attacks more aggressively, MORE PUZZLES does dodge a few attacks thanks to its gyroing out of stuff (all luck no skill :V) until they do actually make contact, unsurprisingly weapon to weapon again considering the proportions of these bots. Yeah MORE PUZZLES goes somersaulting and bounces many more times before landing relatively stable.
They start approaching for r3 and... nope nvm MORE PUZZLES hits the floor and gets yeeted very far away. Actual round 3 involves even more dancing until yet again weapon to weapon hit and the ridiculous contraption flying some more. No Tomorrow seems more damaged than it's opponent but both of them appear to still be functional.
For round 4 No Tomorrow finds a clear path to MORE PUZZLES's ass and goes for it and misses completely, the disco floor contraption is quick to turn back for a easy shot and... hits the floor right past No Tomorrow and completely wastes the opportunity, bummer.
After nearly having a heart attack, our french driver rushes to get a quick and easy hit in the ass but no MORE PUZZLES ends up forcing a weapon to weapon hit again (rng gaming). puzzly boy flies some more and it seems like the weapon on No Tomorrow isn't spinning so that is really bad, like really reall... nvm it works now.
Both of them approach for round i-lost-count-already, MORE PUZZLES tries some more if its gyro nonsense and just turns too much, hits the floor, and throws itself right into No Tomorrow's weapon and something flies off. After the somersaulting ends we can see that MORE PUZZLES only has one leg now, luck running out?
If you thought that it's handling couldn't get worse you have been proven wrong, No Tomorrow has no way of taking advantage of this because MORE PUZZLES keeps hitting the floor and flying off somewhere else. This goes on and on, it's honestly getting boring by now. It can't really get counted out as it does move in a rather controlable fashion between each self flip
After lots and lots of bouncing MORE PUZZLES yeets itself into the other spinner in the arena finally and it seem to be weapon to weapon by some miracle. After that last hit MORE PUZZLES goes back to its regularly scheduled programming and No Tomorrow's weapon is not working again. Is it dead for good now? idk the 3 minute timer just ran out.
Aggression: 10-5 No Tomorrow
Damage: 9-6 MORE PUZZLES
Strategy: 9-6 No Tomorrow
No Tomorrow wins by a 25-20 judges' decision
Disposal Unit vs. The Act of Being Polite
Hey look, late RP. Guess Jack's shit out of luck. Except not, because I'm not going to ostracize him for things out of his control. By the way, I should mention that I fucking love Disposal Unit. Its drum weapon reminds me of those huge industrial grinders at my previous workplace that instantly ground plastic bottles into mush. They also got jammed when assholes were too lazy to throw gigantic fucking chunks of melted, hardened plastic into the proper bins and instead chucked them into the grinders, causing them to stop, burn the belts and smoke up the entire plant for hours at a time. Gotta love that.
Anyway, I was about to write a fantasy robot combat fight, but memories of work distracted me. Right. Ethan and Jack nod respectfully at each other as the middleweights with the big-ass spinning weapons approach each other. Jack looks to be goading Ethan into oversteering his bot, although with just as much a difference between his speed and traction, he's not exactly immune to that himself. He seems to be banking more upon The Act of Being Polite's shape lending it to such an effect. Well, let's see... well Jack definitely has more control over his robot, although he seems to be gyro'ing very, very slightly even when he turns. To his credit, Ethan actually is finding it tricky to control his spinner as well, but he's hanging in there. Which ties into the first collision of the match. Disposal Unit tries going around the spinning bar and then quickly juking about to get at the side pod. But as it does so, Jack quickly has to readjust his robot so it doesn't gyro, and while The Act of Being Polite nearly swoops side-on to Disposal Unit's front, it turns forward into Disposal Unit's direction, trying to hit it. There is a satisfying BANG as the bar makes contact with that big industrial grinder I mentioned above, and I bet the workers having to clean up the arena afterwards are going to have a field day as the grinder is immediately halted and the smell of burnt rubber belt plagues the arena. Or maybe it doesn't. I doubt the belts running Disposal Unit's weapon are as big and heavy as the ones on the grinders. They were at least 15 metres long and about 5 inches wide. Yes, I used metric and imperial units in the same sentence. Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters?
Probably not, since there's a match still going on. And the aftermath of the collision is that Disposal Unit has a gouge in its drum while The Act of Being Polite has been pinged all the way across the arena, a small chip out of the bar taken. That's a 3-point to a 1-point disparity for ya. As it is, when Disposal Unit tries spinning up, the grinder appears to be jittering a little. However, it's still working fine in essence anyway, and it doesn't seem to be impeding Disposal Unit's drivetrain any more than it was before. So Jack's still game, and his bot comes back into mid-arena as The Act of Being Polite tries to regain its bearings. It begins spinning up again, but by the time it's fully up to speed Jack has cornered it. He employs the same tactic he did before, with Ethan having less room to maneouvre. The problem is that Jack still doesn't have the best control over his robot either, and as he has more of a chance to hit one of The Act of Being Polite's wheels, Ethan is able to swivel his bot just enough so that the huge-ass spinning bar manages to clip one of Disposal Unit's support teeth, immediately destroying it. It's probably what would happen if I took that tooth and threw it into one of the industrial grinders. Good shit. Anyway, while it doesn't knock Disposal Unit far, it has the huge effect of not allowing Jack to turn Disposal Unit in one direction, lest Disposal Unit gyro enough for the drum to hit the ground. So he's immediately faced with a problem. And to make matters worse, he's faced with another. The Act of Being Polite comes in on him again, so he's forced to go weapon-to-weapon on him. More of the drum gets carved into as both bots get sent wacky by the hit, and The Act of Being Polite is thrown directly into the corner, where the spiky hammer hazard lands on him, putting a sizable hole in the chassis. That hadda hurt.
But whatever happened to Ethan's bot, it's clear that Jack is not having a good time. The drum of Disposal Unit is now forced to spin at a lower speed so Jack can keep the bot under control, both from the damage and from the missing foot. Sensing victory, Ethan drives his pounded bot out of the pulverizer corner, weapon spinning back up to speed, and Jack just goes for the Hail Mary approach at this point, spinning the drum back to full speed despite the stability problems. Disposal Unit is already madly twitching before The Act of Being Polite makes contact with it... and oh wait. The Act of Being Polite actually hit the other support. Well that was anti-climactic. Or not. Disposal Unit isn't exactly tipping drum first into the ground... but nor does it look even remotely stable anymore. It tries to turn, but now gyros in earnest, and The Act of Being Polite takes advantage by slamming the bar straight into its face. With that, there is now a sizable chunk taken out of The Act of Being Polite's bar, but Disposal Unit's drum took it on the side and has nearly been dislodged from the axle, dragging on the ground and is in no shape or form able to work any further in this match. With a minute left to go in the match, Jack taps out to spare his robot from any further damage. And maybe to spare the crewbots from any further cleanup. Break out the air fresheners.
The Act of Being Polite wins by a knockout in 2:03.
----
Heavyweights
Fork The Wind vs. 2-face
Spinner vs brick. The classic matchup. Oh wait, this spinner isn't your typical 16-power piece of crap? Golly gee wilikers. And honestly, you know what? Pat's plan seems pretty solid. Admittedly, it takes a while to get going, because TurtleBack is making life really horrible for him with his better drivetrain and able to outmaneovure the forks reasonably well. Fork The Wind takes some hazard damage for a little while, but eventually he's able to get in a pretty damn good hit that immediately inverts 2-face and, without an invertible wedge to work with, 2-face is pretty much a dead duck. Well, not quite, because it can still try to angle in on Fork The Wind, but it has incredibly limited success. It can push Pat's robot for maybe a few seconds before Fork The Wind readjusts itself and gets the spinner in, knocking 2-face away and then following it up with several more hits front-on. Eventually TurtleBack just gets tired of this and stuffs the inverted wedges down Pat's throat. No, not literally. I meant his bot, fools! I think he was hoping to jam Pat's spinner and push it that way, but Fork The Wind just simply gets under and has a fun time pushing 2-face around before 2-face uses its better drivetrain to escape.
And really, that's pretty much all notes of relevance for this fight. 2-face controlled the first minute, but it went completely Fork The Wind from the moment 2-face was flipped. And now the buzzer goes off and forces me to make a decision. Fuck you I won't do what you tell me. How ironic. I'll leave you with that thought. And reference.
Aggression: 8-7 Fork The Wind
Damage: 8-7 2-face
Strategy: 12-3 Fork The Wind
Fork The Wind wins by a 27-18 judges' decision.
Chimera vs. Greenwar
"On mobile, sorry cutie no stats"
nope. you lose, bye bye. green war wins by DQ (0:00)
OK but actually both robots come out of the gate and Chimera pretty immediately takes control of things. Not in a "oooh look at that SLAM against the wall" kinda way, but Chimera is able to poke its nose in enough to keep Greenwar penned into a single spot. This goes on for at least a solid 45 seconds with Greenwar waiting for the slip-up, but it's just not happening. Boring stuff.
However, Chimera eventually slides in on the left side of Greenwar's forks, and... kinda(?) lifts it. Just with the tip, leaving Greenwar's center of gravity juuust out of reach for Chimera to really dig in. Overbalancing slightly, Chimera backs off after a half-hearted effort and tries to go in again. It's subsequent attempts are a lot more successful, leading to it eventually SLAMMING- ehh more like "pushing" Greenwar against the wall.
The edge goes to Chimera for most of the fight... but not triumphantly. VQ plays it really safe, leaving both the judges and audience a little miffed. But hey, if it works it works. Greenwar's spinner ends up being too high to really catch onto anything outside of whacking against the fork ends a few times. It causes some scratching and denting, but not nearly enough to wow anyone before the buzzer goes off.
AGGRESSION-- 4-1 CHIMERA
DAMAGE------ 3-2 GREENWAR
CONTROL----- 4-1 CHIMERA
GREEN------- 5-0 GREENWAR
Chimera wins by JD (10-5)
Taisabachi vs. Powerdrive
Powerdrive spins up and moves forward, aiming for the sides of Taisabachi. It is unsuccessful in this endeavor, as it is flipped by Taisabachi and is now on it's back. It attempts to self right but is then tossed into a wall. He then pins the bot as it eventually gets itself over and in a position where it slowly slides away from Taisabachi. It now aims for the flipper portion. While Taisabachi is able to get under the spinner, this causes the bot to shake a bit and lose some paint on the flipper. This goes on for a bit where Powedrive is able to take some chip damage on his opponent while Taisabachi occasionally gets under and flips them, each one occasionally getting an advantage against the other.
Aggression: 8-7 Powerdrive
Damage: 9-6 Powerdrive
Control: 10-5 Taisabachi
Taisabachi wins 23-22
Rampage vs. Compound Fracture
Look what we have here, the mighty HFL and his... enhanced wedge vs TDG and his actual fucking Battlebot. That's right, someone took an actual robot and put it in a crappy ARC tournament. Any-who, we have a match to run. The box is locked, the lights are on, it's robot fighting time! Almost immediately do we see HFL go full send across the box, trying to pull the angles on Rampage. Dan, however, backs off and angles in between the wedgelets, giving him a free shot on Compound Fracture, which seems to mainly just pop CF into the air. Lucky for HFL, the small hit seems to have given distance between the two. TDG goes in to try and chain hits, but HFL backs off and positions his front to be square to Rampage. Guess what happens now? Woahhhh, the wedgelets get under the wedge. Compound Fracture pushes Rampage into the wall with relative ease, using a combination of the lifter and the wall to point the front of Rampage towards the sky, aaand it's upside down. TDG gets a moment of breath to try and self-right by slamming the wall, but he's unsuccessful as Compound Fracture goes back to smothering Rampage, taking it to the killsaws, which slices straight through the back left tire, causing foam to go everywhere (And the janitors to all sigh in disapproval). With 3 wheels left, TDG keeps attempting to ram into Compound Fracture just to cause some damage and to self-right for the next 30 seconds, but it starts to move in circles - which from what I know about basic geometry, is certainly not good. HFL now with the match to lose, takes Rampage over to the pulverizers, pinning it in place by making it do "the thing" on top of where the pulverizer rests. As Rampage gets counted out, TDG jokingly yells "rigged"
Winner: Compound Fracture by KO (1:27)
Omicron32 vs. Xtreme PneumatiX
Hello hi yes I am a sentient knife coming to you live from the commentator's booth.
This is a lot of two bots going head to head, both confident that their bot has the better wedge. To start with, omicron wins out. Looks like he got a slight angle on pneumatix's forks that let him get under the main body. Ethan does his best to escape, but unfortunately for him he's just shoved unceremoniously into a wall, where they stay for a good 10 seconds. Eventually ethan's able to start to wiggle free. He does get away eventually, but not before getting herded into a killsaw.
Back in neutral, the two bots go at it again, and this time Xtreme Pneumatix gets under, and tosses omicron up and over. What follows is a good 30 seconds of ethan trying to follow up on this advantage - but omicron is always just a little bit too slippery to end up anywhere too bad. Pneumatix gets in 2 more flips that knock the lifter up, but don't get him much space.
Eventually frog is able to get the lifter facing the right way before pneumatix comes back at him. Not that it does much good, and pneumatix slides right under and gets a gorgeous running flip into the wall. He's able to keep omicron penned in for another 10 seconds or so.
But then Omicron catches him by surprise. Again I think it ended up at a slight angle to Pneumatix. Frog's able to shove the flipper around a bit, but he's never able to really get the bot onto omicron's dustpan, and eventually Ethan is able to take a turn that frog doesn't anticipate, and wrest his bot free.
And he's right back on the offensive. This time he's able to get in 3 very impressive flips, and he's herded omicron into a hammer zone. It's not doing a whole lot, but we did edit in some funny cartoon noises for the home audiences to enjoy. Omicron attempts two counter-attacks to try and escape the corner, but neither succeeds, and he ends up pinned for quite a while in that corner.
The last 30 seconds of the fight are pretty inconclusive. Pneumatix whiffs a flip at one point, but everything else is pretty uneventful - though pneumatix does get off one more proper flip right as the buzzer hits.
Aggression: 3-2 Pneumatix
Damage: 3-2 Pneumatix
Control: 3-2 Omicron
Final decision is 8-7 in favor of Xtreme Pneumatix
----
Superheavyweights
Hartmann's Youkai Bot III vs. Boreas
Wow. I think this is my first result written for ARC in over... three years? Four? Since whatever the last result I wrote for Cherry Bomb Classic 3 was, anyway. Wow, time sure flies. Anyhoo, let's not stand upon ceremony here. We have a match to go over between two heavy-hitting superheavyweight spinners! The box is locked, the lights are on, and just like in the good ol' Comedy Central days, it's robot fightin' time!
Hartmann's Youkai Bot and Boreas begin the match like the big spinning mofos they are. How? By spinning up their weapons. Granted, it takes less time for Boreas to get up to full speed, but it's not like it's going to close the gap before Hartmann's Youkai Bot also achieves maximum... overdrive? Good god, I've already started with the nonsensical references. Anyway, Boreas decides it would be imperative to keep the plow underneath the drum facing Hartmann's Youkai Bot. It also decides ramming that plow directly into Hartmann's Youkai Bot's spinning death trap would also be a good use of its time. And that's exactly what it does. Before Hartmann's Youkai Bot can safely commandeer the center of the arena, Boreas trundles past the midpoint and we get our first shot of the match in a decent collision that sees both bots get knocked askew. Let's review the footage. Looks like Boreas did indeed take that one on the chin. Said chin isn't looking so hot with a sizable dent in it, but it's still holding up reasonably well. Hartmann's Youkai Bot also took it on the chin. Twice. First from a wedge, and then from a spinning drum. The drum caused barely any damage, mind you, but it did send Hartmann's Youkai Bot veering off towards the arena wall, though not quite making it. Boreas is spun around a bit by the hit so it has to get the drum facing again. Not that Hartmann's Youkai Bot isn't facing the same dilemma, and it looks like Boreas is going to recover first. The problem with that is Hartmann's Youkai Bot is already spinning back up just as Boreas puts the forward gears in motion again. It doesn't quite make it before Hartmann's Youkai Bot is back at full speed and it takes it on the chin again, while also uppercutting Hartmann's Youkai Bot directly into the wall this time. The plow wedge definitely has a slight break in it now, but it is absolutely still functional as a wedge, as Boreas proves by driving into Hartmann's Youkai Bot before it can go anywhere and mulches it against the wall, the wedge digging under Hartmann's Youkai Bot's giant 2-toothed blade.
HFL looks pleased as the drum of Boreas begins spinning up again, but it's not going to so easy to aim at the targets he wanted, namely the tires, as Hartmann's Youkai Bot is front-on to his bot right now. He tries to turn Boreas awkwardly, so as to try and nudge Hartmann's Youkai Bot aside, but the distance between the spinning drum and the disc of his opponent was closer than he thought and Boreas just ends up knocking Hartmann's Youkai Bot up against the wall again. This inadventantly means Hartmann's Youkai Bot falls directly on top of Boreas before the drum can spin back up again, and this leaves HFL with a predicament. Boreas isn't exactly a top-ranker in the pushing department, and it can't spin the drum up with its opponent on top of it. Not to worry, though; Tri takes matters out of HFL's hands by having one of Hartmann's Youkai Bot's wheels, catching the back end of Boreas, spin and drive itself off of Boreas in a sort of funky cartwheel. It drives off in reverse, determined to keep its front pointed at its fellow spinner as Boreas turns and tries to chase it down, spinning all the way back up. Luckily for Tri, Hartmann's Youkai Bot gets to its maximum speed JUST before Boreas catches it, and now part of the plow on Boreas is just completely gone. However, it does have the effect of knocking Hartmann's Youkai Bot across the arena, since Boreas managed to punt it with its drum again. With that, Hartmann's Youkai Bot is beginning to spin back up, picking up where it left off. Unfortunately for it, it's now running out of key places to hit on Boreas, as HFL just unceremoniously plows his bot into the spinning Tri-bot again and, while now losing the plow in earnest due to a lucky edge hit from Hartmann's Youkai Bot, once more throws Tri's bot into the wall where it can't spin up properly. Desperately trying to find something to hit on Hartmann's Youkai Bot that isn't disc, Boreas pops the big bot into the air while trying to get underneath and nibble at the wheels, but the matches closes before he can do anything of worth.
Aggression: 10-5 Boreas
Damage: 11-4 Hartmann's Youkai Bot III
Strategy: 9-6 Boreas
Boreas wins by a 23-22 split judges' decision.
Not So Huge vs. Anyone's Guess
The fight begins with both bots rushing forwards, Not So Huge with the spinner at full tilt while Anyone's Guess is approaching in reverse (egg side forwards). After a few seconds the egg is deployed, what does the egg do exactly is anyone's guess (ha!)
(half the audience laughs at the joke while the other half just sighs)
So anyways it is clear almost immediately clear that the plan is to tank at least a hit with the with the egg as that's exactly how it goes at first. The result is just that the egg gets launched to the other side of the arena with not much effect, it does at least slow down the weapon in Not So Huge a bit and lets Anyone's Guess get under and push it with the weapon NOT making Not So Huge bouncing off. drew does manage to get it under the hammer hazard and it does seem to do at least something to Not So Huge.
After the first encounter things do get a bit worse for Anyone's Guess as it can't afford to play fetch with the egg so it is forced to engage the spinner at full power which leads to it often bouncing off instead of just scraping it and letting drew control the fight.
As the fight keeps going Anyone's Guess's chasis keeps taking more damage and it can be seen on the chasis, particularly the top plate, though Not So Huge seems to be unable to get a good hit on the flat profile of Anyone's Guess. On the other team the wheels on Not So Huge are starting to get multiple cuts from the killsaws and a few dents from the hammers but also seems to be holding up fine.
After quite a while of this and the ocasional egg moment, Not So Huge lands a good hit, one of the shuffling bank things explodes and the top panel in Anyone's Guess gets bent up significantly and some inny bits are visible. That side still has 2 of those shuffler things and they do still work so not a really big deal.
Time is running out and the lifter isn't seen much action, it may be broken but its probably just not being used to not get it shredded. Not So Huge keeps getting wobblier and wobblier, the egg is slightly cracked but its still in one piece, the question marks on top of Anyone's Guess are almost completely deleted by now.
At the end pat manages to hit the exposed edge of the bent top panel and tears it off clean, clean as in nothing else gets torn off with it, bummer.
Aggression: 8-7 Anyone’s Guess
Damage: 10-5 Not So Huge
Strategy: 9-6 Anyone’s Guess
Not So Huge wins by a 23-22 split judges' decision.
Deep Dish Destruction vs. Power Bar
Deep Dish Destruction vs. Power Bar
Well there’s really only so much that can be said about fights like this. It’s more or less the diametric opposite of a fight like Ayame vs Venice Queen to where in a fight like that it’s a lot of complicated variables and strategies that make it complicated. This fight is just these two seeing who can murder the other more efficiently. DDD does his wonky starting strategy, but it doesn’t really affect things in any meaningful fashion. What’s important is that we get some really awesome weapon on weapon clashes that send both bots bouncing erratically around the arena. After several of these collisions, bot weapon systems are basically dead and they’re limited to attempting to sluggishly shove each other around. Obviously this part of the fight is nowhere near as exciting as the first part, but them’s the breaks.
Aggression: 8-7 Power Bar
Damage: 8-7 Deep Dish Destruction
Strategy: 8-7 Deep Dish Destruction
Deep Dish Destruction wins 23-22
Chieftain vs. Pathos
We’ve got two very powerful six-wheel-drive lifter bots with two different approaches to weapon design: Pathos has a pair of long lifting forks that can work in either front-hinged or rear-hinged mode, and Chieftain’s got a full lifting plow with some outrigger forks that can slide out.
And both are on each other pretty quickly. Chieftain tries to get around the lifter of Pathos, but does get scooped up by the forks and ramps up its wedgelets, ending up half on top of it. Pathos tries to take it to the pulverizer but Chieftain works itself free with the help of that fast, heavy plow. Neither bot wastes any time getting stuck until each other like, well… the British and the French. And this may well be a hundred years war, or at least a three minute one, because again Chieftain gets out-forked by the French cutlery, but Pathos can’t lift up fast enough to keep Chieftain on the wedge.
There’s another couple ramp-jumpings before Chieftain gets around the forks and actually gets under the wedgelets. And now, Chieftain’s little anti-monstertrucking prongs and Pathos’s limited ground clearance come into play, because it gets taken for a high-speed ride straight into the arena wall, and lifted as it does so. That’s a mighty slam, and Pathos goes over on its side, but does come down upright. Pathos gets under again and this time Chieftain doesn’t have space to escape before being mashed against the wall, but it does get free.
After a bit more of this Chieftain finally gets Pathos flipped. Pathos is invertable, and drives off to get some space, then starts trying to self-right with the forks… and Chieftain is not nice enough to wait around while its opponent high-centers itself for like five seconds, so Pathos is immediately taken into the pointy pulverizer, and takes a severe pounding in the corner while trying to climb free of Chieftain’s wedge, but Chieftain keeps scooping it up and disrupting it until the pin limit runs out, at which point Pathos decides that it’s better off fighting with slightly less effective wedges than trying to self-right with a slow lifter.
Now’s a good time to point out that I think Monster Jam’s on Channel 7 right now, and is pretty much the same thing: one machine ramping over the top of another. Pathos is getting under Chieftain a lot, but it’s having trouble capitalizing on it. It finally gets its forks hooked into something in Chieftain’s underside, and finally gets in a lift, then a violent wall-slam! Chieftain goes ass-over-teakettle. It gets back up before Pathos can come after it, but gets rammed before it can get the plow back over, and goes under a pulverizer! Chieftain raises its plow to block the shaft of the hammer, but Pathos has gotten into front-hinged mode and is trying to tip it over. But Chieftain gets traction and makes it off the wedge, and after a bit of harrying gets the plow down. This is some great action here! There’s some more ramping and shoving, but right before the bell Chieftain gets Pathos into a blunt pulverizer. It only gets one hit before time runs out, but the pointy hammer has put some dents in its baseplate earlier, and in a match like this that could be crucial.
Judges’ Decision:
Damage: Pathos 6, Chieftain 9
Aggression: Pathos 8, Chieftain 7
Control: Pathos 7, Chieftain 8
Your winner, by a 24-21 Judges’ Decision and a very hard-fought battle, is Chieftain!
Big Boy Flaily vs. Multicrap
Boy Flaily gets its retracted flails spun up. Multicrap closes it's clamps and spins up its disk as well and begins driving at an angle towards the front of BF. The flails begin to open outwards, and we see contact! Two big shots on the spinner support! The spinner is now struggling slightly to spin u. Boy Flaily also goes upward a bit from this hit, allowing Multicrap to get underneath with the lifter. However, it's not quite steep enough to keep BF from moving too much and a mixture of it's driving and it's flails retracting break it free from Multicrap, who just misses the lift. BF spins back up and tries again to hit the juicy bits on Multicrap. This time Multicrap is able to get under and begins lifting once more, but it still takes another shot from the flails in the process. BF is just at the right height to hit that spinner on Multicrap. However, this time BF nearly goes over, as it's flail bits the ground and sends it spinning, bouncing off a corner. It attempts to regroup and get it's flails back up to speed but Multicrap is drawing near. Two more close lifts that end up as strong hits on BF, both of them causing BF to go flying but the Boy just won't sit still! Eventually the buzzer sounds after some hot robot action.
Aggression: 10-5 Multicrap
Damage: 13-2 Boy Flaily
Control: 10-5 Multicrap
Big Boy Flaily wins 23-22