SPARES OR REPAIRS V.S. VOLTAGE
[written by winternimbus]
right out of the gate, voltage takes the aggresive side and box rushes--both robots meet in the center of the arena that's announced by a loud bang and a shower of sparks between the two as SoR gets in a pretty gnarly hit in on voltage, before returning the favor by getting in a series of flips in on SoR with some impressive airtime--right as SoR lands back in on it's blade!
before voltage could get more aggression and control in on SoR, boto is able to slowly but surely steer the match into his favor--moving SoR into the arena's center with voltage in hot pursuit as SoR's bar gets up to speed. TBR's aggression proves to be a very risky game as SoR clocks in another nasty hit in on voltage--with the right corner of voltage now showing a very nasty gash in on it. voltage still is soldiering on though, TBR's able to get in another mean flip in on SoR and pin it against the wall, as SoR puts on one hell of a show as it's bar collides against the arena's floor.
unfortunately, that seems about the end of voltage's reign on this match, as SoR checks in another vicious hit in on voltage--tearing another nasty tear in it's armor as it flies across the arena! TBR's trying to show movement to show that voltage's got it's head still in the game, but all this means that boto's clear to go in for the kill, and with one final impact in on voltage from SoR's blade, it seems that's all she wrote for voltage as it gets counted out!
SPARES OR REPAIRS wins by K.O. (1:17)
AFTERNOON CEREAL V.S. APEIROGON II
[written by HFL]
Put on the Eurobeat folks, it’s time for super fast vertical spinner drifting! I think Apeirogon’s spinner is on an arm as well, and Afternoon Cereal… I don’t think it’s lifter’s actually functional in this config, so it’s just hinged wedgelets.
Anyway, Afternoon Cereal rushes right across the arena, already getting that bar going. Apeirogon veers off, does a big circuit of the box, comes in again… but is not committing to its attack. Apeirogon seems to be trying to avoid Afternoon Cereal’s weapon, but Cereal’s not giving it a lot of space to maneuver. Apeirogon goes over the killsaws but the hazard isn’t quick enough. The bots face off again, and this time Afternoon Cereal’s aggression goes against it a little as Apeirogon jukes around the forks and slips under the right wedgelet. Boink! Afternoon Cereal gets tossed back, lands bar-first but bounces back onto its wheels. But Apeirogon’s right on top of it – or rather under it again, getting another shot on the wedge as AC tries to reorient, and then to the side. The disc got stopped by the second hit, but Apeirogon tries to shove its opponent towards the wall drum. Afternoon Cereal gets away, though, and it’s basically up to speed, which leaves Apeirogon running for its life. There’s a pretty good chunk taken out of the right wedgelet and it might be a little twisted, but the fork’s still on the ground.
AP gets its weapon spun up, Cereal charges, but this time puts on the brakes at the last second. Apeirogon’s left itself exposed, and Afternoon Cereal slips under its front corner, tossing it into the air and exploding the left side of its wedge! Apeirogon lands upside-down, has to self-right with its arm, and even though it scoots away to the other side of the box before doing so, that arm’s heavy enough that retracting it knocks it off balance, and Cereal is fast enough to capitalize. Unfortunately it rushes in fast but not quite on target, and the two just kind of sideswipe each other with neither weapon making contact. Both bots go skidding into the wall, and Apeirogon has to run for it again.
Apeirogon gets the better of the next exchange, getting the side of Cereal’s left fork and tossing it on its back. It self-rights with the bar, and Apeirogon runs right onto its wedge while going for a followup shot! Luckily Cereal’s weapon isn’t at full speed but Apeirogon still does a 360 backflip and now has part of its surviving wedgelet peeled upward.
At this point Apeirogon seems to just be running in circles trying to avoid Cereal and hoping it slips up. Cereal’s trying to herd it into a corner or something, but without much luck, and eventually charges in at the wrong moment. Apeirogon almost catches a corner, but the more or less missing wedgelet makes it ride up and glance off the wedge. The disc and bar make contact, and Apeirogon gets sent flying, landing on its back with the arm out behind it. It retracts it, but falls back onto its roof and has to retreat and try to self-right… but this time Afternoon Cereal catches up with it and charges in with the bar at full speed. It catches Apeirogon in the side, tearing right through the wheelguard like paper. It’s flung through the air, bounces off the arena wall almost high enough to get OOTA’d, and comes down to earth with a wheel missing and its entire chassis bent upward in the center where the weapon arm goes. It’s balanced on the middle of the bot, and I don’t think any wheels are touching the ground. It looks like one side might be still spinning, but it doesn’t matter, because Afternoon Cereal lines up for a field goal to send Apeirogon out of the arena, and there’s a tapout!
Your winner, by knockout in 1:21, is Afternoon Cereal!
TLV V.S. THE GREATEST PLAN!
[written by winternimbus]
this is a rough one for turtleback, who tries to keep his robot's overhead horizontal spinner spun up against the verified, bonafide vinegar-scented brick of TLV. in turtleback's benefit, their robot can roughly keep up against TLV.
TLV charges TGP across the box, with a healthy shower of sparks as TGP's overhead spinner grinds against TLV's shock-mounted plow while TLV attempts to shove it into the big time hammers and pin it from there. TGP manages to slink away, and tries to swing it's body so it's blade can try to snab at TLV's wheels for those nice aggression points.
turtleback and wolf keep steady at this game, with TLV getting more and more of a notable stake in the fight as it gets repeated pins in the fight, all while TGP tries and does succeed at times to score in some body shots. ultimately, this seems to be a war wagered in wolf's favor. there's not really much else TGP can do here as TLV repeatedly gets it high-centered, pinned against the arena's walls.
this one goes the distance, goes for speed, and the buzzer signals that this fight has gone for the full three minutes. let's see what the judges have to say about this one, shall we?
AGGRESSION - 3-2 TLV
DAMAGE - 3-1 THE GREATEST PLAN!
CONTROL - 3-1 TLV
TLV wins by JUDGE'S DECISION (8-4)
FRONT TOWARD ENEMY V.S. BREAK DASH
[written by turtleback!]
Welcome back to Robot Fight Night! And it is time for our next fight between Break Dash vs Front Towards Enemy!
One of these bots is advancing, the other has to go through the losers bracket early! LETS GET IT ON!
Both bots are in the box. Lets see who will win!
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
Let the bot battle begin!
And a box rush by Break Dash! But Front Towards Enemy dodges just barely! But Break Dash continues to attempt to smother them! But- OH LOOK AT THIS! Front Towards enemy makes a smart move! Going CCW and launching themselves away! Break Dash attempts to stand their ground and attack-
A MASSIVE SHOT THAT SENDS BOTH BOTS AWAY!
And there is a slight gash on the wedge of Break Dash! But they continue to smother Front Towards Enemy! And they get a lift in!
But Front Towards Enemy is dodging some of the attacks now. Moving around hoping to get time to spin up!
And they have-
Oh! Massive shrapnel from Break Dash after that hit!
Now Break Dash. Lifting Front Towards Enemy a few times… OH! Massive shot! But Front Towards Enemy still spinning! Break Dash has to avoid that weapon if they want to win this fight!
Yeah that weapon- very dang-
Oh! There goes one of the wheels!
Now Break Dash getting some chassis shots in! Lifting it a couple times! But oh! Another wheel!
Yeah they have lost two of the front wheels. But- OH! Big shot to the wedge once more! And another wheel! Oh no! Its on one last wheel! Break Dash is struggling to move!
And there goes that last wheel! And I think this match may be over!
Kinda hard to move without any wheels if I am being honest…
Winner: Front Towards Enemy (KO 2:37)
LETHAL CARRIAGEWAY II V.S. DIABLO VICTUS
[written by winternimbus]
not much needs to be said here. diablo victus wins by forfeit.
TORSCHLUSSPANIK V.S. GOD'S MIDDLE FINGER
[written by winternimbus]
the box is locked, the lights are on, it's robot fightin' time baby.
this is a surprisingly even match in terms of speed, GMF sounds like a jet engine as it gets up to speed while torsch does the same, YSMQTHLQYH is expecting boto's box rush it seems--so she steers GMF away from the wall while torsch charges her. the two robots barely miss a collision between the two, while torsch keeps it's big fuckoff drum facing towards GMF, intending to pop it across the arena.
it seems like boto gets the hit he's hoping to get, GMF collides with torsch's drum, and it launches GMF into the air, while careening torsch across the arena--right into it's center. GMF does some hops and skids as it attempts to land back on it's feet, which means that it's open season for boto to chain hits against the nigh-indestructible argentinian shell spinner.
however, things are looking a bit optimistic for YSMQTHLQYH and her robot, torsch looks a bit punchdrunk from the initial collision--and despite the bit of self-damage GMF had taken from getting bounced across the arena and it's walls, it's back on it's shuffling feet once more.
the two robots circle eachother--an error on boto's end as this means that GMF is fully spun up now, and there is a head-on collision between the two robots. by god('s middle finger), it sounds like a bomb went off in the arena, as torsch careens backwards with nasty shock damage, and GMF *flies* simultaneously backwards and upwards, landing on it's self-righting pole.
ultimately, this impact has seemingly killed both robots' weapons, torsch is looking worse for wear as it crabwalks around the arena, and GMF is stuck head-up on it's self-righting pole as it gets counted out.
TORSCHLUSSPANIK wins by K.O. (1:08)
10,000 YEAR EARWORM V.S. W IS FOR WINNER!
[written by winternimbus]
as the buzzer signals that it's robot fightin' time, w is for winner books it right out of the gate with it's obscenely fast 10 speed stat, but it's evident that turtle's planning to step off the throttle just a tad bit if they need to do so. this is a surprisingly even fight despite the sheer difference between the two robots' speed, as sio tanks winner's boxrush, and winner gets it's first grab in for the fight.
it's apparent that turtle didn't get as good as a grab in on earworm as they initially hoped, as earworm's blade repeatedly collides with one of winner's grabbing arms, getting repeated dents in it due to the extended contact with the arms--slightly bending it as result, before turtle has to let go of earworm.
as turtle tries to get another good grab in on earworm, sio's plan seems to be coming to fruition as one of winner's comically long hinged forks gets caught in one of the killsaw slots--leaving it's sides vulnerable to get launched and chained by earworm's large blade. sio gets a couple of solid hits in on winner, flicking the robot across the arena, leaving it stranded on it's top.
turtle struggles to self-right winner, but gets aided by earworm's blade, it's top claws are notably bent but still hold firm as turtle gets in one more good clamp in down on earworm, seems like sio didn't gyro it in on time--leaving her vulnerable.
however, after repeated contact with earworm's spinning blade, and due to the repeated hits rule, earworm gets a nasty hit in on winner's grabbing arm, and breaks the damn thing. winner still tries to commandeer the fight, but it's in the bag for sio as earworm gets in one last good hit, leaving winner stranded on it's head--unable to self-right!
10,000 YEAR EARWORM wins by K.O. (1:45)
KAMAITACHI V.S. NEOPHYTE REDGLARE
[written by V900]
yeah ok buddy i'm not writing out Khimichonga or whatever 20 times. get abbreviated
In an ironic flip-of-the-script, it's actually the slower vert that goes for a box rush at the start of the match! NR, biding it's time, manages to get the slip in and toss Kama around for a dozen seconds. Some veering around the saws here and there. Throughout all of this though, HFL makes sure not to let that disc hit the floor. Verrrry important to him. The lifter puts in plenty of work bobbing him around while upside down, before he's eventually able to get rightside up.
Things slow down for a while after. Kama's lifter-wedges are able to get under a good number of times and start lifting, but NR's combination of superior speed and acceleration allow it to avoid getting handled too easily. NR's big chunky wedgelets also prove less than ideal for angling, much to Winter's dismay.
Late into the match, NR gets a little too hungry and runs up at an angle onto Kama's lifter. One wheel on the ground, Kama latches onto the little space underneath NR's plow and gets a more substantial grab. Disc comes in, BOOSH punch RIGHT into the gut.
(As in the bottom. Like where an alligator's stomach is, but on a Battlebot™.)
A couple of 3 damage hits isn't much, but it's at least more than what NR has been putting out, which to this point has been "none" outside a few scrapes by the saws and maybe half-a-whack from the hammers. NR is able to get away, albeit with some wounds to lick. The two go back to neutral, with NR a little more skittish near the end of the match. Based off Winter's driving, you can really tell that put a scare in them. The last 30 seconds largely consist of NR trying a few more times to angle in, but plays it a little too safe to really capitalize.
AGG: 3-2 Neophyte Red.
DMG: 4-1 Khimmy Neutron
CTL: 4-1 Neophyte Red.
Neophyte Redglare wins by a 8-7 judge's decision.