I've been working on this project, among others, for a while, but I've always been too busy to make any real progress. Jules has been working on it with me, but she's made even less headway. I'm hoping that posting chapters here will help garner some feedback and maybe make me give a shit, so guess I'll post as I complete them, along with revisions and discussions. Reads, opinions, and constructive criticism would be much appreciated. Thanks, guys!
<big><big><big><big>No Heroes</big></big></big></big>
Ste. Denis: 11:08 PM, May 28, 106 AB
Things are safer, nowadays, than they have ever been since The Blackening. There are two layers of fence that surround the whole town, and the outer one
No Heroes
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- Posts: 1308
- Joined: Thu May 26, 2016 12:00 am
- Location: Canada, for now
- Team: The Monsterworks
No Heroes
Mastodon... Extinction (HW)
Osiris... Armageddon! (MW)
Elrathia... ROBOTS (LW)
Magnolia Pico... Ruination 4 (MW)
RipTide... ROBOT2 (FW)
Black Diamond... Cherry Bomb Classic 3 (HW)
MADSCIENCE... ROBOTS 3 (LW)
Abyss... ROBOTS 3 (MW)
The Monsterworks: 214-57 (.790) ...Probably up to no good.
Osiris... Armageddon! (MW)
Elrathia... ROBOTS (LW)
Magnolia Pico... Ruination 4 (MW)
RipTide... ROBOT2 (FW)
Black Diamond... Cherry Bomb Classic 3 (HW)
MADSCIENCE... ROBOTS 3 (LW)
Abyss... ROBOTS 3 (MW)
The Monsterworks: 214-57 (.790) ...Probably up to no good.
Cherry Bomb Classic IV: 25-4
Finishing Move: 6-2
Magnolia Pico: 6-1
Magnolia Grande: 6-1
Glacier III: 7-0
Magnolia Pico: 6-1
Magnolia Grande: 6-1
Glacier III: 7-0
ROBOTS 3: 21-6
Sixpounder: 3-4
MADSCIENCE: 9-1 Champion!
Abyss: 9-1 Champion!
MADSCIENCE: 9-1 Champion!
Abyss: 9-1 Champion!
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- Posts: 563
- Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm
- Location: Fighting in the shade
- Team: Tartarus Robotics Group
No Heroes
Overall, I really enjoyed it. However, I have a few questions, comments, and criticisms.
1) I'm not sure about interspersing the two storylines like you have, TBH. I get the reasoning behind it, but the transitions throw me off a bit at first. Otherwise, really good.
2) Is Tristan gonna go full villain in this iteration? His and Clyde's relationship as brothers seems ambiguous. I'm assuming it's meant to be, but I'm not sure if them joking around after Clyde clearly shows disdain for him a paragraph earlier is a good idea. There's clearly some tension between them, and then it just gets deflated like that.
3) I liked the action scene, and the exposition was well done. The savages feel more menacing than they did in your old draft. Are we going to get to see the REAL outside of the fence (Vincent and co.) soon?
1) I'm not sure about interspersing the two storylines like you have, TBH. I get the reasoning behind it, but the transitions throw me off a bit at first. Otherwise, really good.
2) Is Tristan gonna go full villain in this iteration? His and Clyde's relationship as brothers seems ambiguous. I'm assuming it's meant to be, but I'm not sure if them joking around after Clyde clearly shows disdain for him a paragraph earlier is a good idea. There's clearly some tension between them, and then it just gets deflated like that.
3) I liked the action scene, and the exposition was well done. The savages feel more menacing than they did in your old draft. Are we going to get to see the REAL outside of the fence (Vincent and co.) soon?
Tartarus Robotics Group: Infinitely wise and merciful since 2016
(don't ask about before that)
Black Dog ||| Hellhound V ||| Blood Eagle ||| Santangelo ||| Hellhound VII ||| Hoarfrost
Mechanized Mayhem: 0-0
Heavyweight: Danger Zone (0-0)
CBC4: 26-5
Featherweight: Black Dog III (6-2)
Lightweight: Blood Eagle (7-1)
Middleweight: Hoarfrost (9-0) CHAMPION!
Heavyweight: Santangelo (5-2)
Lightweight: Blood Eagle (7-1)
Middleweight: Hoarfrost (9-0) CHAMPION!
Heavyweight: Santangelo (5-2)
Current Roster: 183-40 (.821)
Black Dog (ROBOTS - MW*, ROBOTS3 - FW, CBC4 - FW): 26-5
Blood Eagle (CBC3 - LW*, CBC4 - LW): 15-2
Danger Zone (Mechanized Mayhem - HW): 0-0
Detroit Iron (ICEcrown - SHW): 6-2
Hellcat (Thunder Underground - MW): 2-0
Hellhound (R: Extinction - HW, Pressure Drop - HW, RB2 - HW, ROBOTS - HW, New Blood - HW*, ROBOTS 3 - HW*, Thunder Underground - HW): 46-11
Hoarfrost (RB2 - MW, Armageddon! - MW, Ruination 4 - LW, Thunder Underground - LW, CBC4 - MW*): 23-5
Krakatoa (Robo-Con - LW, Ruination 4 - SHW, Thunder Underground - LW): 11-2
Meanstreak (RB2 - LW, Ruination 4 - HW): 10-3
Santangelo (CBC3 - SHW*, CBC4 - HW): 13-3
Sundancer (Ruination 4 - MW, R: Revival - MW, REDDIT - HW, R: Evolution - FW): 21-4
Talons Out (ROBOTS - FW): 10-3
Thundercaller (Vexed!): 1-0
Blood Eagle (CBC3 - LW*, CBC4 - LW): 15-2
Danger Zone (Mechanized Mayhem - HW): 0-0
Detroit Iron (ICEcrown - SHW): 6-2
Hellcat (Thunder Underground - MW): 2-0
Hellhound (R: Extinction - HW, Pressure Drop - HW, RB2 - HW, ROBOTS - HW, New Blood - HW*, ROBOTS 3 - HW*, Thunder Underground - HW): 46-11
Hoarfrost (RB2 - MW, Armageddon! - MW, Ruination 4 - LW, Thunder Underground - LW, CBC4 - MW*): 23-5
Krakatoa (Robo-Con - LW, Ruination 4 - SHW, Thunder Underground - LW): 11-2
Meanstreak (RB2 - LW, Ruination 4 - HW): 10-3
Santangelo (CBC3 - SHW*, CBC4 - HW): 13-3
Sundancer (Ruination 4 - MW, R: Revival - MW, REDDIT - HW, R: Evolution - FW): 21-4
Talons Out (ROBOTS - FW): 10-3
Thundercaller (Vexed!): 1-0
Yet to Fight
Hadean, Intimidator, Kurosaki-kun, Midnight Sun, Neon Rampage
Retired
Eye of Newt, Morality, Savage, Tiger, Vicious, Wild Child
ARC Hall of Fame
Hellhound - #1
Black Dog - #2
Blood Eagle - #11
Sundancer - #24
Hoarfrost - #49
Black Dog - #2
Blood Eagle - #11
Sundancer - #24
Hoarfrost - #49