Welcome back to FF League. I bet most of you didn't think you were getting a two for one week, didya? Well, I'm just full of surprises, and so is ARC. Honestly, thanks to everyone for being so involved and enthusiastic and getting your shit in early. It allows us to do this. Anyways, no more BS. Your round two matches are listed below.
1) Please declare any configuration choices that you are using - if you're not going with a clearly-defined base config - by pinging your opponent on discord no later than Thursday.
2) RPs are due Saturday, April 24, at 11:59 PM EST.
3) This round's arena will be The Noir
. Be advised that the hazards in this arena do not
work on the damage scale that other arenas' do. They just do whatever amount of damage that they say they do.
4) Good luck.
(1) Black Lagoon - 1-0 vs. (2) Fustercluck II - 1-0
DJ is adamant about breaking a losing streak to Sio in this match and thinks that Fustercluck has a pretty good chance. Let's see if that holds true. Well, for starters, there's a lot of cute maneuvering between mecanum-wheeled bots. Black Lagoon doesn't seem to have much in the way of gyroscopic lift to deal with, but it definitely isn't the quickest turner. Fustercluck's weapon doesn't seem to have much oomph to it, which seems to help in that regard if not others.
First blood eventually goes to the sophomore, as it manages to slide its flipper beneath one of those Black Lagoon Arms. What happens as a result is a bunch of weird floppiness, the Interrobang Robotics entry driving kind of
on its side halfway across the arena, and a low-powered follow-up hit by Fustercluck that leaves a bit of a buckle in that thin armour plating of Black Lagoon but not much more.
Fustercluck is back on the attack before long, as both bots spin up. It tries to have another go with the flipper and gets under successfully this time, but Black Lagoon's drum catches the golden bot's wedge teeth just as it's firing. There's a shower of sparks, a ruined tooth, and Black Lagoon doing the funky chicken again. This time, it lands upside down and gets chained by Fustercluck. Things go from bad to worse when a roller comes off of one of the wheels and Sio's bot ends up on top of a fatale, turning it green.
It's driving still not visibly affected, the dual drum spinner races off and manages to straight up matador an overeager charge from Fustercluck. It strafes back in and there's more inconclusive maneuvering until Fustercluck's wedge slides under one of Black Lagoon's arms again. Sio backs off, rushes in, and it's quick enough that the flipper bot is caught less-than-ready. A massive impact hurls the two bots apart and both take a while to recover, resetting at more or less neutral.
Fustercluck continues its angling in tactic and gets under once more and... it misfires! Black Lagoon gets away! The sophomore bucks back violently from the unrestrained power of that flip, and Black Lagoon darts in, its drum teeth gaining clean purchase on the underside of that wedge. They say that chickens can't fly, but Fustercluck takes flight nonetheless, doing a full 360 and landing upright. There's a concerned look on DJ's face and the bot leads with its drisc instead of its noticeably warped flipper now.
The two of them go weapon to weapon and both find themselves punted way back. Despite landing on a fatale and turning it green, Fustercluck is quicker to recover and goes on the attack once more. It strafes around while Black Lagoon struggles to keep up, and delivers a shot to one of the drum spinner's weapon supports. It skitters backwards, making a weird sound, but manages to keep going. Their next meeting seems to be following a similar pattern until Black Lagoon manages to get one of its wedge arms well and truly stuck under its opponent. Fustercluck seems well and truly high centered, but it looks like that clutch flipper is toast, or it would've been fired already. Slowly, arduously, Black Lagoon uses this as a pivot point. DJ revs Fustercluck's weapon, hoping to oscillate the bot free, and manages to do it a half-second before that deadly drum plows into the side of her bot.
The hit is devastating. A side panel hurtles into the ceiling, taking out one of the lights. Bits of a mecanum wheel rain down across The Noir. Fustercluck lands upside-down, skitters into an arena sidewall, and doesn't quite manage to flip itself upright. For its part, Black Lagoon bounces around out of control, throws another roller across the arena, and starts smoking. The already-damaged drum grinds to a halt with a sickening noise, but the Interrobang Robotics entry is still driving - just - and its opponent isn't.
Black Lagoon wins by KO at 2:03
(3) Crime Scene - 1-0 vs. (4) Tiamat - 1-0
This one's standoffish from the start, with both bots approaching the Crooked Cop and hoping that their opponent will make the first move. It looks a little bit like this:
Long story short, they play some cute little positioning games and Tiamat gets smacked. It lands upside-down, but there doesn't appear to be any damage, and Crime Scene has a difficult time following up with any effect. Its weapon is at low revs and Dylan isn't stupid. He manages to line the upside-down Tiamat up with its opponent and the bots go head to head. Fr a second time in this young match, the Team Ignition entry is flung backwards, and it lands right-side up. Cue a wakkity-sax montage of Crime Scene trying to tap dat sweet sweet ass while Tiamat tries to outmaneuver it. Dylan's eventually able to get away using the Crooked Cop, just as it retracts into the floor.
The two bots reset at equal, both trying to get the other to turn and gyro lift or oversteer. With a longer chassis and 4WD, however, Tiamat seems the less likely to do it. Crime Scene appears to be trying to make up the difference by operating at lower revs. The Team Ignition bot makes its angle-in maneuver way
too early and Crime Scene is able to adjust, but mid-adjustment, it lifts just a tiny bit. This is apparently all the opening that Tiamat needs. It rushes forward, Crime Scene is back down, and the bots impact at a slight angle, both chucking each other back, though the rookie seems to take the worst of it, nearly nearly
tipping over backwards. The veteran is back on the attack immediately, but Crime Scene has settled and all that comes of it is another impact that sends it sailing backwards more than up and over.
Crime Scene backs off before a third hit, taking some time to spin up a bit more, and presents its front to the onrushing Tiamat. Dylan makes a subtle adjustment to avoid going head to head with those long forks, and Crime Scene is forced to turn. It darts in, revving up its weapon, but the disc still isn't quite at full power when the bots meet. The impact is impressive nonetheless. Tiamat does a full 360, landing back on its wheels at a slight angle. Crime Scene adjusts course, wheels lifting a bit on one side, and Tiamat comes in this time. Crime Scene goes over!!
Its disc hits the floor and it rapidly skids halfway across the arena, rebounding off a fatale and into a new direction. Tiamat tries to adjust to follow, but it experiences just enough wheel lift to delay it. Crime Scene is able to self-right, but that's about all that it can do before Tiamat is back. A massive hit sends the rookie hurtling once more. Its weapon hits the floor at just the right angle to immediately pop it back upright, but... it's missing a wedge tooth!! The veteran smells blood and comes in once more, but Dylan's a bit overconfident and Tiamat eats it for his eagerness.
There isn't enough kinetic energy in the low-power shot to deal any damage, but Tiamat has been flipped over and is perilously close to one of the low walls. Crime Scene attempts to follow up, and it scores another nice hit, tearing a small chunk out of one of Tiamat's wheelguards, but it also rights its opponent in the process and the Team Ignition bot jets away. What follows is more circling and posturing and angling. Tiamat comes hard after Crime Scene's wedgeless side and the rookie backs off. Tiamat turns in, however, and despite some wheel lift, scores a direct hit on the rookie's chassis. A long, shallow scar is torn in its armour and both bots are popped backwards. Crime Scene recovers first, scoring a nice counter shot that flings Tiamat backwards, but the veteran is able to avoid a follow-up and instead, gets cleanly underneath.
Crime Scene does about a 270, bounces around a bit, and lands inverted. Tiamat delivers a vicious follow-up and manages to snowball its opponent into the already-green fatale. The hazard doesn't do much aside from sending Crime Scene squirreling away and turning yellow. Tiamat's weapon is at low revs now, and Dylan revs it up as he tries to reach the rookie. Crime Scene is able to self right in the nick of time, and it only takes a glancing blow.
The remainder of the match follows a similar pattern, with Tiamat nearly getting flipped and losing its centre wedge tooth in the dying seconds, but going even with the rookie for the remainder and managing to snowball it one more time. This is not going to be an easy decision for our judges.
Damage: 3-2 Tiamat
Aggression: 3-2 Crime Scene
Control: 4-3 Tiamat
Tiamat wins a 9-8 split decision
(5) PuriN II - 1-0 vs. (7) Green Eggs & Slam - 0-1
Deathspinner, meet BIG WEJ. The moment that the opening tone sounds, Green Eggs & Slam is off like a bullet, hurtling straight for PuriN II while the spinner urgently tries to get its weapon up to speed. It looks like it doesn't have even the slightest chance, but then the speedy wedge does something a bit daft. Instead of trying to avoid the Crooked Cop, smack in the middle of the arena, Green Eggs & Slam drives right onto it. It skips up, slews to one side, and spins out. PuriN jukes the opposite way, trying to keep the central obstacle between it and its opponent.
A low, menacing death hum fills the arena and builds to an unearthly howl. PuriN finds space and... starts moving forward. It's not often you see one of these big spinners take the initiative like that, but Green Eggs & Slam is happy to oblige. It sets itself straight and charges right into its opponent's blade.
There's a spectacular collision and a massive shower of sparks. A chunk of metal pings off of the ceiling - it's one of Green Eggs' wedge teeth and a small chunk of the wedge with it. Whew lad! PuriN's been eating its spinach, lemme tell you. That is a seriously
powerful weapon. Of course, there are other casualties too. The wedge is flung away with violent force, smacking into the arena barrier and bouncing around until it settles back on its wheels. That's nothing compared to what PuriN does, however. The big pink bot goes absolutely berserk, flinging itself into a corner, completely out of control, and then another. It comes to rest, back facing its opponent, weapon basically stopped. The fatale in that corner turns green.
Two things happen: PuriN runs the hell away and starts spinning up, and Green Eggs & Slam is after it like a bloodhound. The subsequent impact pales in comparison to the first one, however. The spinner, going at about two-thirds power, is popped back and coins a bit. The wedge is spun about 180 degrees and skids a couple feet. PuriN is dangerously close to that same fatale, and within three seconds, is shoved into it. The floor spinner turns yellow and chucks the bot back out with some sparks. Nick is less than happy that the hazard doesn't really allow him to pin his opponent in the corner, but hey, it makes up for that by doing actual damage, and more each time.
Cue the montage. This is the part of the climactic fight where the villain kicks the crap out of the hero for a while before the hero miraculously finds a way to turn it around right in the eleventh hour! You know, or not. A couple more shoves onto the fatale and it's up to red. PuriN gets flung violently away and a wheel squirts out the bottom of its chassis. Green Eggs & Slam has a bit of ground to cover in order to reach it, and the usually-steady wedge actually oversteers, courtesy, maybe of that big thwack tail. The spinner actually starts building some kinetic energy, even though it isn't exactly driving right anymore. There's a big collision and the two bots are thrown apart. There's a sizable gash in Green Eggs' big wedge now, and PuriN ricochets into a wall.
Nick is right back at it, though. Not five seconds later, the two bots meet wedge to wedge. PuriN actually wins out, but with its already slow drivetrain compromised, it can't really push its opponent anywhere and Green Eggs & Slam eventually squirms off after twenty seconds of the clock tick by. The spinner suffers for this by being delivered into another fatale, and there's not much it can do. I could go on with the play by play but, to be honest, it's more of the same for the remainder of the fight. Green Eggs & Slam's wedge is in a sorry state by the end and is actually buckled into one of its wheels, making it difficult to drive straight at full speed. PuriN's just as bad, though. It actually loses its other back wheel to a red fatale and is reduced to 2WD for the final twenty seconds of the fight, but the ending tone sounds, and it's still moving - just
Damage: 4-3 PuriN II
Aggression: 5-2 Green Eggs & Slam
Control: 6-1 Green Eggs & Slam
Green Eggs & Slam wins a 14-7 judge's decision
(6) Spooky Month - 0-1 vs. (8) Crash Test Granny - 0-1
This looks like a mismatch from the start. The opening tone sounds and Spooky Month absolutely labels
poor old Granny into one of the fatales, which turns green. It backs off, charges in again, and ends up stuck on Granny's wedge. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, Mayfly turns things around on his opponent and this time it's Spooky Month taking a ride on the now-yellow fatale. The Team ShellShockers bot wins the next wedge battle and Crash Test Granny gets absolutely battered by that same fatale, which now turns orange. It's spun free, the bots are separated, and Spooky Month starts to come in for another slam, but Granny doesn't seem to be moving anymore.
Children, this is why you should answer your grandmother's phone calls and 'like' her facebook posts. She can be taken from you at any moment and then you'll regret not spending the time with her. The count begins and Spooky Month circles, starting a victory spin as it reaches 7... 8... 9... Granny comes back to life!!! The curmudgeonly old bitch does it! Children, this does not
happen in real life. What I said earlier still stands.
What's more, the brilliant sneak attack works! Crash Test Granny is able to wedge Spooky Month and the sawbot is stuck on there and unceremoniously plowed into the now-red fatale! I swear this whole match has pretty much taken place in a phone booth. Spooky Month is violently flung away. One of its side skirts is torn loose, clattering across the arena, and it looks like a wheel is damaged!
Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, Mayfly drives Granny forward yet again. It scoops Spooky Month up and starts driving it with surprising speed - those wheelchair motors must have a ton
of torque - towards another fatale. Granny's odyssey out of the retirement home is nearly at an end when Spooky month has just had enough
. It jars itself free by wiggling its saw up and down, pivots, and scoops Granny up. The two bots are now locked in a pushing match and they are one hundred
percent evenly matched in this regard. The smell of burning rubber fills the arena, but there's another element to this struggle: Spooky Month drops the saw. Granny is either too proud or too senile to back off and it makes quick work of her flimsy armour and cuts deep into her chassis. With only a couple of seconds remaining on the pin timer, thick white smoke begins billowing from the slain senior. She's not moving anymore, but just in case, Spooky Month hangs around nearby, wary of another trick until the countout reaches ten.
Spooky Month wins by KO at 1:49
(9) Charlotte: The Astonishing Shelob - 0-1 vs. (10) Jack - 0-1
At the start of the match, neither bot seems especially eager to fight. Charlotte bashfully holds her spinner behind her back like a bouquet of roses waiting for a lover. Jack... boops a fatale. It turns green. Jack boops it again and it turns yellow and sends the flipper skidding back a foot or two. The Team Eagle bot is on its way to a second fatale by the time that Charlotte really has a go at it. This hazard reaches green, Jack backs off, and Jack gets wedged. From the rear. It tries to escape by bucking itself loose with the flipper but, in the immortal words of Cassie (describing Santangelo), its flipper has all the power of "an anaemic wasp opening and shutting the door in place of an actual weapon" and it remains firmly fixed in place and unceremoniously shoved back into the hazard, which turns yellow.
This time, Jack makes a clean break, boops a third fatale, and evades a second charge by Charlotte: The Astonishing Shelob. The rookie flipper makes a beeline for the fourth hazard and turns it green, attempting to matador Charlotte as she charges in again. The ungainly contraption is able to catch a corner of its sleeker opponent, however, and Jack skids away awkwardly. The two of them meet wedge to wedge, the flipper gets under, and Charlotte pops up and coins a bit before coming back down. Jack uses the opportunity to get one of the two remaining green fatales up to yellow. They re-engage and, this time, the Questionable Strategies entry is able to swing its weapon into Jack's side.
Now, this thing pretty much has armour made of unobtanium, and it shows. There's little more than some scratched paint and sparks, but the impact does
fling the black and red bot a few feet to the side and comes almost close to tipping it. Jack rushes for the last fatale and turns it yellow as Charlotte regains its traction. Sadly, it pays immediately for its boldness by being punted into that hazard and taking a large ding to its front wedge. Jack recovers quickly, though, scoops up its opponent, and the grand tour begins.
For practical reasons, Charlotte goes straight back into the now-orange spinner nearby, and to devastating effect. The ungainly machine is tossed aside like so much scrap, one of its many wedges badly warped and its rotating armour shell sitting uneven. Jack is on it like a pitbull. Charlotte is shoved towards one of the yellow fatales with surprising speed, but in the nick of time, smacks itself free using its weapon. No matter. Jack scoops it up again and plows it into the hazard. More metal is warped and shredded and there's a brief puff of smoke.
Jorji has found that long run-ups between hazards give Charlotte more chances to buck itself free with its weapon, so he opts to scoop it up and send it back into that same fatale: now orange. His wedge loses out, however, and he's forced to quickly hook away, taking a pop in the side and again nearly going over. Jack is back within moments, however, despite Charlotte's attempts to maneuver away. A trip to the orange fatale violently separates the two bots, and... is that... Charlotte spits out a wheel! Wait! She doesn't have
wheels. That must be one of the rollers from her tracks!
Somehow, she's still going, but the formerly small gap between the two bots' respective drivetrains is much larger now. Jack does the scooping thing again, Charlotte flails with the spinner and... Jack goes hard
into the side wall! He's stacked there: propped against it! Charlotte bumbles over, spinning up, but the Team Eagle bot fires its flipper and just
manages to free itself. It eats a second hit for its troubles, though, and that area on its side that's been taking all of these hits is starting to look a bit dinged up. Jack squirts away from danger, resets, and completes its mission to wedge Charlotte and dump her on the next yellow fatale. This time, a damaged wedge comes straight off. Smoke starts curling out of the turret bot's chassis. Jack ruthlessly plows her into the orange hazard and a second wedge is torn off. The rotating shell seems badly warped now, and it doesn't look like it can even turn anymore.
The turret and weapon, however, still work. With the clock winding down, Jack scoops the Astonishing Shelob up once more and begins driving it towards the final hazard. Really, if Jorji just let it go, I'm not entirely convinced it could even move anymore. Anyways, he pays for his achievement hunting by taking another vicious shot from that spinning blade and Jack's armour has had enough. Charlotte's weapon - through sheer accumulation of hits - has embedded itself in there. Well... that actually kind of works out for Jack. It shoves the struggling bot into the final non-red fatale and that's it. Jack breaks free as a length of track snakes out from Charlotte's chassis along with copious amounts of smoke. The weapon seems to be losing speed too. Jack comes back in, but its opponent clearly isn't moving. The referees begin the countout, but maybe gratuitously, the Team Eagle bot pushes her into the orange hazard before letting the countdown conclude. The fatale turns red, but the ending tone sounds just before Charlotte can be counted out. The outcome is a foregone conclusion, but we're going to the judges.
Damage: 6-1 Jack
Aggression: 5-2 Jack
Control: 5-2 Jack
Jack wins a 16-5 judge's decision
Jack (Team Eagle) has earned the achievement 'Bloody Sunday'