Hooh, I'm rusty and burnt out from assignments and shit. If I die, make it sick as fuck, ok, writer?
Yeah so no, the rest of your RP that includes using a hazard as a wall to make an artificial corner so you can actually corner camp in the quasi circle arena is not compatible with a sick as fuck writeup, sry.
Oh wait spoilers, dammit.
The fight starts and The Big Spook is already fast as fucc boi, Scrapper looks like a turtle in comparison, the slow spinup doesn't help, not like it needs any speed in that weapon tho
. While TBS plays with its speed and wiggly waggly stick Scrapper faces it while backing itself into the wall, right next to a drum hazard. Getting even close to that thing would usually be a terrible idea as it has proven to be quite lethal (Scrapper isn't really a tank either) but you see, Tri has positioned himself just besides it so the drum hazard denies about half of the possible approach angles from one side. In other words Tri managed to figure out a way to corner camp in an arena with 30° corners.
Yeah so TBS is not going to commit suicide yet
so instead it just faces Tri's driving booth and gives him a dissapointed look and then proceeds to spin in circles for a while until Scrapper starts getting counted out. Of course TBS tries to get in in that moment but fails completely at getting a good angle, thankfully it realizes and backs off before getting munchered by a spiny drum. This means we go back to camping btw.
INSERT FOOTAGE OF SPOOK DANCING WHILE WAITING FOR SCRAPPER TO GET COUNTED OUT AGAIN HERE
Scrapper is forced to move out again and the pumpkin immediately sneaks into the exact corner that was being camped on. The both play a weird game of chasing each other for a few seconds until TBS unsurprisingly gets under Scrapper's back. This is pretty bad for the turtle as now all of its wheels are off the floor and also they didn't end up facing the wall so Goat can take it anywhere easily.
Spookybot does do the expected thing and feeds Scrapper into the drum hazards but does it at an angle, don't know if it was part of the plan or not but it does make Tri's bot take the hit from the chassis wedge thing instead of the tankier spinner.
Anyways big hit, Scrapper flies back and lands halfway to the center, oh also TBS completely exploded despite not even being hit directly. The entire chasis on Cool Story Brobotics's bot is bent enough for the drum to no longer spin, meanwhile TBS is just a barebones chasis with two wheels and a wedge attached on one end, pumpkin pieces are spread all over the arena and the floppy arm is still waggling despiste it just being part of the debris at this point.
Scrapper does it's best to survive while the reminder of TBS that is still very very fast tries to push it to a drum hazard again, too bad that when it gets under it just goes through and under the drum not so spinner instead of pushing it, so yeah neither bot can do much for the rest of the fight. This doesn't take long to get old so i will just fast forward to when the timer runs out.
Damage: 4-1 Scrapper
Control: 3-2 The Big Spook
Aggression: 5-0 The Big Spook
Your winner, by a 9-6 decision, is The Big Spook!
Yeah. Big killfuck 16 point spinner vs controlbot with a bunch of edges on the front that might as well have a 32pt comic sans "HIT ME HERE!" sign stapled onto it. Thing could be a lot
easier if the latter had the proper alt config to deal with this matchup, but eh. Let's see what these guys have in store for strategies.
Skoll spins up. Mmm. Yes, good. Wind up, hit em hard.
Lethal Carriageway attempts to box rush in an arena with an anti-boxrush nail, turning around the pit and ramming right into the blade. With it's front. The one with the gap that I was just ragging on. And it has 10 armor. This seems like a bad idea.
It was a bad idea.
Skoll wins by KO in 0:20.
OTSC comes out the more aggressive of the two, and gets lucky, managing to bypass the flipper of swordfish, getting under it from an angle but struggling to do much with the opening, as swordfish keeps continuously turning, strafing, trying to get that flipper into a better position. They do this dance for a good 15 seconds before Ys is finally able to get OTSC under the forks of swordfish, and THERE’S A GOOD SLAM.
And now the boring part where we watch a bot get pinned.
And now back to the action. Neutral reset after a bit of yakkity sax getaway scene outta swordfish to extricate itself from its unfortunate previous position. Goes better for him this time, manages to get the tongue under and get a good flip in, with some followup, but he’s struggling to contain OTSC, whose fast acceleration is letting YS get out of cornered situations far easier than they should be. Ys gets a good angle again after a bit, and is able to get another few slams about the arena as swordfish flips and flops about, trying to make space, get anything started.
Instead, it gets a faceful of drum for its trouble, courtesy of OTSC. The aforementioned drum decides it is hungry and takes a wheel with it. On most bots that wouldn’t really be that much of an issue, but on swordfish, it severely hampers mobility to the point where the bot can’t really defend itself. another trip to the drums later in the match seals the deal entirely, and dashes the run of the flipperbot. Kinda sad tbh it’s a good design, and I expect it to do well in future tournaments
Your winner, by KO in 2:44, is OTSC!
Seeing as advanced cloning techniques haven't happened yet on ARC --unfortunately, Alex V flunked out of St Joe Musashi's Ninja Training School by the time they were getting round to teaching them -- this one couldn't go ahead as planned. But thanks to the miracle of randomizers, the decision on which Ice Cubed Robotics bot continues in the competition (best of 11) went like this...
Jackal wins the toss 6-5 and moves onto Round 3.
The match starts off with speed bison being aggressive and strategic :V . the time it takes for him to line up a good shot does let DM get up to full speed. As it turns out DM has a little gambit as well, something the driver had discussed in the pits with our interviewer. She seemed aware that it had a low chance of working, but as Speed bison’s front left wheel goes rolling off across the arena, one could say that it did its job. Both Jack and his bot seem remarkably unperturbed by this injury, however, and the next set of hits see Death metal eating a faceful of plow on repeat, the bot flying about every which way and doing all that glorious dancing that it was… well not really designed to do, but does quite well.
SB’s actually able to get off a decent pin, keeping the spinner up against a wall for a long while, then ramming it blade first into a drum, destroying that arena hazard and sending both bots flying, resetting them to a neutral. Speed bison is a hare slower than it used to be, I feel, as it sets up for its next rush, again taking a blade full force to the face. This time DM bounces almost straight up and lands next to speed bison, taking out a chunk of rubber on the back left tire. Somehow SB is still going, though, as it hangs an awkwardly wide turn and gives another rush, this time losing a portion of plow as DM’s blade wraps behind it, embedding it in the arena wall.
Still, it doggedly continues, eating another massive hit, this time sending DM careening into the wall. The spinner grinds at the floor for a bit before the bot slips free, just in time to eat another rush, a hit that sends it dancing across the arena, over the drums, and to the flat area behind the drums. SB moves to block DM’s exit, as Danielle doggedly spins up her weapon bar once more, apparently preferring to chance it with a ricochet than eat a guaranteed plowin into the drums. I don’t blame her. Unfortunately she gets a plowin into the drums anyway, although not after leaving a telling dent in SB’s plow.
This time DM can’t protect itself from the drums, and a wheel is more or less shorn completely off the bot. it goes flying, and DM stays pretty close to the drums, with its weapon whirring angrily, one wheel spinning, letting the bot still defend its flank, somewhat. With just 10 seconds left to go, Jack just can’t get a good enough angle on DM to get that finishing shove into the drums. has he done enough to win?
Aggression: 3-2 Speed Bison
Control: 3-2 Death Metal
Damage: 3-2 Death Metal
Your winner, on a nailbiter 8-7 decision, is DEATH METAL!
The match kicks off with Bobtoady getting up to speed, before the infamous magic smoke is unleashed, Bobtoady literally shitting out a battery and smashing it into tiny pieces with its spinner's momentum. Tanto barely has the time to drive over in time to get beaned by the battery shrapnel. After the expected cease call, Bobtoady isn't exactly in a functional state, unfortunately.
I Can't Believe It's Not Tanto wins by FF
Here we go, we’ve got Whirlpool spinning up, it’s not exactly a quick robot but manages to get I think mostly up to full speed, and Xtreme Pneumatix is not wanting to engage that weapon. Whirlpool seems to be leading with its front wedge, but XP’s trying to get around the outside of that. Whirlpool’s not the quickest-turning bot but it is keeping up okay – no gyro effect since it’s currently fighting as an undercutter, which could be a problem for XP’s forks if it’s low enough to actually hit them.
XP takes a gamble going for the side, but Whirlpool turns in time, and – oh, it looks like it actually got underneath Xtreme Pneumatix, and pivots the ring into it and gets a good smack that tosses Xtreme Pneumatix aside. There’s a dent in the wedge and it looks like a small hole or gash, but Whirlpool wasn’t able to get a good bite and it doesn’t seem to have taken serious damage.
Undaunted, XP comes in again and this time gets under. Whirl pivots into it but just scrapes the side, and it takes a pop from XP’s flipper! It wobbles in the air, and there’s a lot of sparks when it lands! Whirlpool goes pirouetting across the box and doinks the wall – and now the weapon’s slowed and they’ve got to create some distance. It’s near the wall, turns to keep the ring pointed away from it – and that’s the opportunity XP was looking for to get under the side! There’s another flip, and again the weapon smacks the floor. The ring’s now basically stopped, and XP’s out for blood, rushing in and smacking it against the wall drum, then following up with a flip that turns Whirlpool on its head!
Whirlpool’s inverted, but the ring is now at an angle. We’ll see if that causes gyro issues – oh, yes it does! It scrapes the floor, and – well, XP does end up getting hit by the weapon but takes advantage and slips under. There’s more scraping, and… a missed OOTA attempt!
Xtreme Pneumatix is more or less controlling the fight for about a minute, but takes some more gashes in its wedge and a lucky skip nicks a tire. Actually kind of breaks it in half, and now XP can’t control the fight as easily, and – ooh, that’s a big hit, Whirlpool tears a huge chunk of the wedge loose but throws itself into the wall. XP can’t drive well enough to get in there before it spins back up, though, and now this fight is dangerous for Xtreme Pneumatix, because I’m not sure that wedge will take much more – ooer, another scraping blow, and Whirlpool clips the floor again and… uh oh, it goes into the wall drum! It ends up upright, but loses a tire, and it’s the one under the ring, which is now scraping the floor unfortunately.
But it is moving at least, and sooooort of in a controlled fashion? No driving awards here, but XP’s left wheel has now stopped entirely as well and Whirlpool seems to be moving better than it is. It sort of limps up to it and pivots its wedge under the corner of XP. XP fires the flipper to get free, and it gets stuck in the up position, so now it’s a true cripple fight for the remaining 15 seconds.
Damage: Whirlpool 4, Xtreme Pneumatix 1
Aggression: Whirlpool 2, Xtreme Pneumatix 3
Control: Whirlpool 2, Xtreme Pneumatix 3
Your winner, by an 8-7 Judges’ Decision, is Whirlpool!
Alright, home stretch of the round. Let's do this.
Both bots kick off, Magpie angling, and LHGTIAEHEA (Actually, I'm just gonna call it ass, acronyms are hard.) strafing. Nothing fancy yet. Ass is the first under, slamming Magpie ass-first into the drums, launching it up and over with some nasty scuffs on the back end. After returning to neutral, Shaba successfully predicts an assault, sliding under the diagonal of Ass, hoisting it up, its thwack saving it from being inverted, bouncing down at a slight angle and using a quick spin to get Magpie to clear off. The third collision, Magpie's under once more. Not falling for it twice, Magpie shunts Ass until it slips sideways on its flipper, before rolling it completely over on the next flip. Ass fires off the puncher for some reason, before blasting arm-first into the drums, bouncing it up and over right-side up, completely blindsiding Shaba, the commentators, and damn near everyone backstage with that ballsy strat. Regardless, we're back to neutral again, although Ass' front end is looking a bit scraped up now.
Ass is able to keep ahead of Magpie for the next few collisions, successfully scooping it up, alternating between slamming it into the spiked walls at full tilt, and yeeting it into the drums. The last strike seemed to catch the tread of Magpie's left tyre on hit, flipping it over and spewing a little rubber in the air. A quick srimech put Shaba back in the match, though. The tempo kept in Ass' favour down to the final buzzer, though, giving Shaba not a single inch. Let's see what the judges think.
Damage: 3-2 Ass
Control: 3-2 Ass
Aggression: 3-2 Magpie
Your winner, by an 8-7 decision, is Listen Here, Grandad, This Is America. Everyone Here Eats Ass!