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ARC: The Dirty Dozen - Fights

Posted: Sun Sep 13, 2020 4:05 pm
by Trihunter
Here's the thread for all of the fights and stuff. Let the wars begin!
The rules document can be found here. Mostly standard fare, a bit of a mix of ROBOT4 and CBC4 rules.

The Dodecagon

Hazards and Features:
  • The Pit: In the centre of the arena sits a raised pit. Flippers with 5 or more Weapon can consistently score an OotA after lining up, although lower power flippers may be able to score one too, with proper positioning...
  • Drumroll, Please: Drum-boxes flank the walls of the ring. Get tossed into one, and expect to go flying, as these drums dish out damage equal to a 15-power spinner 12-power spinner (minimum 1 damage). If a bot's caught on top, they can stop and reverse to help free them. We've plenty of OotA-space in this ring, no need to push it.
  • Spike Strips: The walls of this arena are spiked. A proper ram could impale opponents on them, or just deal a little more visible damage.
  • Funky Fresh Beats!: When RPing, both participants may choose to offer fight music for the duration of the bout. You will be judged if your music is trash, though :P


Arc: The Dirty Dozen - Round Zero

Posted: Tue Sep 15, 2020 4:39 am
by Trihunter
Round Zero

How many shields are there in this fight again?
Super Soldier opens by approaching it's opponent while Tidal Wave being the faster bot decides to just wait. Yes Hii just waits in the starting square, moving a bit to show that his bot can in fact move.
So we fast forward the first few seconds until Super Soldier gets close, it tries to attack at an angle but it ends up being weapon to weapon because Hii saw it coming from several kilometers away as the shield on Super Soldier can only spin in one direction and code didn't think on not yelling out loud in the pits that he plans on doing this. The hit happens and cap bounces and gyros all over the arena for several seconds while Tidal Wave waits patiently at home until it eventually lands upright.
After that first hit Super Soldier takes the initiative again and would you know that the exact same sequence of events happens again? unpredictable. The encounter after that goes down more or less the same way but with Super Soldier landing inverted, that is pretty bad as it can't... code does ????? and Super Soldier is now upright thanks to voodoo magic or something idk.
After that happens both of our masters of surprise and unpredictability go back to waiting in the starting square and trying an angled attack. Big hit and lots of gyro later cap is on its back again, and it seems it ran out of life alert as it isn't doing anything supernatural this time so it starts getting counted out.
While the countdown is going Hii thinks for a while and then finally he actually comes out for once! he goes for the finishing hit but he took too much time deciding and the time runs out before he gets there, anticlimactic ending i know.

Your winner, by knockout in 0:58, is Tidal Wave!


Whee, nobody brought a weapon! I’m starting to like this arena after all!

Both bots head out and very quickly get stuck in, and Floppy Teeth gets its Pinocchio-ass nose under the front wedge of OTSC, which has opted against using its forks. However it is off-center, and when two wide robots try to push each other with such a narrow point of contact, it’s very easy for one to just get spun to the side, which is what happens, and OTSC’s away, but charges back in – oh, and gets wedged again, but it’s a good ram regardless, and Floppy Teeth can’t make too much happen pushing-wise.

OTSC disengages again – uh oh, but gets under Floppy Teeth! The nose is now beached on the wedge, and thanks to Floppy Teeth’s genius anti-wheelie outriggers it’s tipped back and treading thin air! And with no active weapon, it’s basically all up to OTSC to see where it can push the seagull menace. It tries to line it up for the wall drums, but turning it like that tips FT sideways a bit, and the big tires finally catch the floor. It flings itself away, leaving a trail of rubber, and spins madly like a thwackbot.

There’s some more circling, jockeying for position, and… ooh, Floppy Teeth’s under again, pushing it back towards the hazard, but OTSC’s tires squeal, and while it doesn’t overpower Floppy Teeth it does force it to an angle – and there it is away again! It’s pursued, and they slam together, violently bouncing OTSC away – almost faceplanted there, but no joy. Despite having the wider wedge, OTSC gets lucky again, and again Floppy Teeth’s high-centered – and violently slammed into the arena spikes! That could easily have flipped Floppy Teeth if it weren’t for the sort of recurve of OTSC’s scoop. It does still get a pin for its trouble, though.
Uhh, long story short eventually someone finally gets put into the drums, and by someone I mean Floppy Teeth. It goes in ass-first and it looks like the wheels didn’t actually get caught, but there’s a huge impact, and OTSC ends up on its back while Floppy Teeth ends up in deep space. Ahh, there we go, it crashes back down, but it is now inverted, which means its wedge is pretty much useless.

Floppy Teeth doinks itself into the drums again, which does flip it back over, but the razor-sharp, paper-cutting tip of its wedge is now… not. Also it looks floppier than normal, and I think some of the shock mounts got torn loose. The wedging game is now significantly more in OTSC’s favor, and Floppy Teeth is still just as easy to high-center, but just as awkward to actually push. OTSC does get its left wheel into the hazards late in the match, but it’s a glancing blow and the rear wedge takes the brunt of the abuse. There’s foam on the floor and a big flap of tire is now flopping around, but FT finishes the match still driving. OTSC’s also taken a big hit to the side, which got one of its anti-doing-the-thing hoops torn open and 3 of 4 bolt heads machined off the mounting block. This would be certain doom if FT ever got it to actually faceplant, but it doesn’t.

Judges’ Decision:
Damage: Floppy Teeth 2, OTSC 3
Aggression: Floppy Teeth 2, OTSC 3
Control: Floppy Teeth 2, OTSC 3

Your winner, by a 9-6 Judges’ Decision, is OTSC v2.0!


Both bots rocket out to meet one another head-on, with Speed Bison's central fork sneaking just under Powerdrive's blade, throwing sparks as it gets nudged back up onto two wheels. With some wheelspin, Speed Bison muscles it back into the wall, slamming it hard and tossing it aside. Powerdrive's able to land on its wheels, already spinning at full pelt, as the bots clash head to head once more. This time, Powerdrive's blade makes contact with the bulky central spine of Speed Bison's fork attachment, throwing off yet more sparks, as Speed Bison smashes them into the wall, Powerdrive bouncing dangerously close to the wall drums. A swift shove from Speed Bison gets it into the drums, yeeting Powerdrive skyward, its rear right wheel bent up at an awkward angle.

Hobbling back into the fight, Powerdrive actually manages to sneak a good shot in on Speed Bison, catching Frog off guard as his bot gets popped up and over, bouncing off the edge of the OotA zone. Powerdrive doesn't quite manage to get a chain going, however, Speed Bison managing to get on its wheels and mostly deflect Powerdrive's next attack with the edge of its forks, resulting in plenty of sparks but no momentum. Frog's quick to get back on the offensive, shoving Powerdrive back, causing its battered wheel to shed its tread, bumping them back into the spike strip. However, as Speed Bison guns it, Powerdrive is able to slip out of the side of the wedge. TBR doesn't hesitate, quickly spinning in place and landing a direct shot on one of Speed Bison's front wheels, bouncing it and its partner on the other side up, but not quite breaking anything. Powerdrive keeps up its push, getting clean under Speed Bison, throwing more sparks off of its undercarriage as it slams it side-on into the strip. Speed Bison manages to tear itself free, both of its right wheels showing the internal foam as it escapes to a neutral position, ready for one more tussle.
The two bots rush eachother again, colliding head-on, not dissimilar to the first of this fight, Speed Bison once again winning out. Unfortunately, the one difference about this charge was the angle, the rear of TBR's machine going straight into the drums once more, ripping off the back panel and tossing both motors for its rear drive free. Powerdrive's able to maintain movement for long enough to spar with Speed Bison for a mite longer, before a plume of battery smoke caps off this brawl.

Your winner, by KO in 2:32, is Speed Bison!


Both wedges come out of the gate and rush each other. Crazy stuff, right? Both of these guys have literally 1:1 drivetrains and wedge setups, so it's really a matter of whose wedgelets are able to sneak past the other guy's and hit the chassis. HFL does this "ooh start to the side a little that'll show him" stuff, but it doesn't matter because XP just drifts mid-charge to collide head-on anyway. Defenstrator's wedgelets fit through it's opponent's array and slide under. The clamp tries to avoid the flipper, but no dice. It closes right on top of it and faces resistance when Boto starts mashing the "fire flipper" button on his controller. It works just enough for him to hook outta there.

There's some more tussling about with the two bots going back and forth, but then XP finally gets the slip and pops Defenstrator across the arena and into the drums. That's.... 5 damage. Yeesh. Yeah, Defenstator's torn a structurally superfluous behind and proceeds to only get further beat up from there until the ref finally gives it a mercy 10 count. Flat damage hazards were a mistake.

ARC: The Dirty Dozen - Round One, Part 1

Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2020 2:12 pm
by Trihunter
Round One

Hello hello hello Alex of the Ice Cubes has decided to disappear off the face of the earth, so welcome to your second fight with an ungulate host. This one starts out about how you’d expect, with the two guys with massive weapons being passive-ass sons of bitches. Tomatoes are thrown, the crowd of cardboard cutouts and stuffed animals is booing up a storm, and I’m considering dropping a vat of oatmeal on the two drivers. Eventually the two drivers realize they’re not allowed to just sign a détente, and emerge from their respective hidey holes to face each other head on.

From that point onwards it goes about how you’d expect.

Your winner, by KO in 1:11, is Scrapper!


Lowering the drum's damage to 12 works fine enough when it's two regular 8-10 armor bots. Not so much when there's 4 total armor between them.

The three bots meet near-ish the center of the arena, and things look bad for TBS before it quickly decides on focus-firing at one half of the minibot. It scoops the little blue box up, shoves it to the wall, and... uh...
The damage that a robot does by virtue of sheer impact force is equal to the midway point between its speed and either traction or torque (whichever is higher)
Does ten damage to it. Yeah, that thing's dead immediately. It's persumably plastic armor crunches, wheels come off, magic smoke pours out, all that fun stuff (moreso for the party dealing the damage rather than receiving it). No drum needed. The second one plays things a little more cautiously after seeing it's counterpart get instagibbed, but it's only able to dodge for so long before TBS gets the slip and smashes it into either the wall or the drum, whichever one suits your fancy more.

The Big Spook wins by KO in 0:57.


We begin the countdown, and Skoll is facing backwards. Good start. The match actually kicks off with Skoll getting powered up and camping the inside wall, whilst Black Diamond approaches. BD goes for the aggressive (but strategic) approach of a rushdown, but Skoll counters with the strategic (but aggressive) approach of juking them, carving a nasty gash in the edge of BD's blade as the two are launched apart. Skoll's back up to speed as BD approaches neutrally before HFL can get Skoll back to the wall, resulting in another similar clash, spreading that crack across BD's front just that little bit more. BD's trying its damnedest to get Skoll pinned down, but HFL's able to feint away enough to come out on top in each clash. On another such clash, HFL gets lucky, managing to perfectly smash into one of BD's wheels, tossing tyre chunks across the floor. Left hobbling, it's not too much effort for Skoll to keep away enough to rev up to full power and deliver a knockout blow.

Your winner, by KO in 1:41, is Skoll!


Oh god it’s a ditto. At least they aren’t giving comically precise instruction on how exactly they’re going to angle in to avoid the other one’s angling in plans and oh god if I don’t catch all of them they’ll yell at me for being a bad writer.

So yeah shit gets underway and stuff. Robots do robot things, eventually precision engine gets underneath, but LC’s able to squirrel away eventually, though his ass is awfully close to the drums. PE overextends to try and maintain his control on LC, and ends up really exposing his side to the TBR bot. TBR’s able to get Lethal carriageway well underneath PE and get a grab on him, and we get some fancy parading! A proper good old fashion lift and slam! AND a trip to the drums. they do minimal damage, moreso holding PE there for a while than anything else. Eventually Super’s able to get down and, after a bit more running away, establish neutral. This time he gets under and also gets to establish a nice grab. LC still has a wheel or two on the ground, and super finds it a lot harder to get a lift off because of the point of rotation of his lifter being so much further forwards, but he still gets in a decent wall slam and pin before having to let go.
It’s a running battle from here, with PE having the clear advantage, as he again and again gets under in passing, TBR barely able to keep his opponent from getting even more value. Eventually TBR gets cornered and bamboozled by an angling trick, and PE gets under good and proper. Once again LC’s able to keep a wheel on the ground, and that’s his saving grace: he’s just enough of a menace to make repeatedly slamming him into the wall a more appealing prospect than trying to escort him to the drums.
PE releases LC, and the bot just kinda… sits there. Super looks visibly confused in his control booth, and he moves to get under again – and that’s when TBR strikes, darting at his opponent and getting deep under the side of PE. He’s once again able to get far enough under his opponent to get full control, and it’s off to the drums once more – and this time there’s some damage, PE losing a tire a few seconds before the clock ticks down.

Aggression: 3-2 Precision Engine
Damage: 4-1 Lethal Carriageway
Control: 3-2 Lethal Carriageway
Your winner, in a 9-6 decision, is Lethal Carriageway!


Your winner, by KO in 0:69, is OTSC! (forfeit)


The dodecahedron’s locked, the lights are on, etc. etc. Project Snafu’s a bit late with the spinup, that’s very dangerous against a fast, agile bot like Swordfish 3, but Swordfish isn’t going straight in for the box rush. It’s circle-strafing, not that there’s much to circle-strafe to on Project Snafu, since the blade goes all the way around. Swordfish has to engage it at some point. It seems like they’re trying to get to the back, but even when strafing they’ve got to cover a much greater distance than PS needs to cover to just turn, so they’ve got their work cut out for them. Oh, but Project Snafu’s looking a little wobbly! It’s tipping back and forth a bit as it maneuvers. The gyroscopic effect on that angled blade could be a problem!

Project Snafu mentioned this in the pits, though: the new chassis is 4WD and, it’s sort of like TABOR with a spinner where behind the skirts the actual body has higher ground clearance than it looks like, so they said it should cope with gyro-ing better than previous versions. Swordfish is really making it work hard though, and an abrupt turn finally pops it forward and almost makes the bar hit the floor. And that’s the opening Jack was looking for, he guns it in there and slides under! And now Snafu’s bar is just barely too high in the back to actually hit Swordfish. I’m not sure if it has the ground clearance to get free, but it doesn’t matter because Swordfish flips it!
Snafu wobbles dangerously in the air, but doesn’t go over. It does bounce down at an angle, and Swordfish comes in again, but the bar finally clips the floor and sends it twirling away. It strikes the wall, and loses most of its energy, leaving it scrambling to avoid its faster opponent. Uh oh, Swordfish runs afoul of the skirts, though! It was just feeling Snafu out and manages to avoid the blade, but it has to back off, and that buys Snafu enough time where Swordfish has to start going for its back again. There’s more circle-strafing… oh, no, but a last-second turn by Snafu leaves Swordfish darting underneath the side, and the blade isn’t quite high enough! Its left plow is caught near the top, and a massive hit shears it clean off the robot!

Both robots are sent sailing across the box! Swordfish gets a faceful of the wall drums, but its sloped front weathers that attack at least. Snafu hits the spike strip, and hard. The blade’s stopped – now it’s spinning back up but Swordfish goes for broke and just rams it with the surviving plow before it can get to dangerous speed. It bounces away, spins back up to scary rpm again, but again Swordfish manages to get it to gyrodance, slides under the back, and flips.

And we’ve got a mauler… or a Moros really! Snafu flips out in midair, tumbling like a coin, and ends up on its back. Can it self-right? I have no idea… ooh, it’s thrashing violently around! Most overheads are pretty symmetrical so they can spin the chassis pretty smoothly, but Snafu’s so much taller in the back that it throws off the weight distribution, and it’s behaving like a spinner when the blade breaks in half. It comes close to going over but the conical shape makes that really tricky, it keeps falling back – the circular shape is letting it roll around the arena pretty fast, though.
Swordfish doesn’t seem sure what to do with it now. It will get counted out eventually, because that’s not controlled translation, but if it makes it back up the flipperbot’s in danger with its wedge damaged. There’s no way of lining up an OOTA against something that’s thrashing around like this. Going for the drums is risky, that could right him, but it is what Swordfish goes for. And we have a skirt panel torn off, but SNAFU has bounced away. Ref’s asking for motion…

Welp. Just not able to get back up in time. And that’s the end of that I guess.

Your winner, by knockout in 1:41, is Swordfish 3!


Jackal starts by doing jack shit and just tries to push 666 around while getting flipped for a while. Fast forwards a minute or so Jackal flips Triple Six somehow.
Some fooling around and Triple Six fires the flipper and continues its infamous OOTA record, in other words it fell into Alex's trap and OOTAed itself lmao.
Your winner, by KO in 1:12, is Jackal! (forfeit)


> mfw both rps are a wall of text
The Act of Being Polite starts the fight by spinning up and getting really close to the OOTA warp pipe in the center of the arena while it's famously aggressive yet strategic opponent goes for more of a unsurprising box rush. The undercutter does ride up the wedge quite nicely and while Ethan is trying to maneuver on top of Dreadnought it looks like it fired the flipper and then The bar hit its side in mid air and both bots got thrown quite far away, The landing as undercutter and no real damage seems to be present on Dreadnought MK4.
Alex is quick to rush in again, Act rides up the wedge again, after draining the spinner out of momentum, the flipper is activated and the bot with a proper weapon anticlimactically flops over on its back, it still can drive tho. Ethan is quick to turn around before the follow up does much and Of lands a hit on Dreadnought's side that makes a pretty sizeable hole on the armor and both bots bounce off, buying him time to spin up again a little more.
That extra spin up time comes in handy for basically nothing as Alex makes a good job at making the spinner scrape the flipper panel instead of receiving another big hit. And now Dreadnought starts pushing Being around the entire arena for a while, Alex is wise enough to not fire the flipper again to not have to deal with the undercutter.
At some point somehow Polite hits the top panel of the brit flipper and bounces off all over the arena, landing undercutter. Alex rushes in but is found in Ethan's carefully orchestrated trap and totally not some divine luck. Dreadnought gets hit and recoils into the closest drum hazard, which yeets it far away and deals surprisingly little damage.
More random bullshit later Alex does the flop-opponent-on-its-back-thing again and is pushes TAOBP around for a long while with varying levels of dominance.
It's all a painful boring slog fun and games until Alex rams Politebot 5000's back into the same drum from earlier.
The main advantage of having a compact chasis design is that when you take a good hit it's guaranteed to land in a component like a motor, ESC or, in this case, a battery.

Your winner, by knockout in 2:39, is Dreadnought MK4!

ARC: The Dirty Dozen - Round One, Part 2

Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2020 12:35 pm
by Trihunter

Both bots set to work approaching one another, clashing closer to ISAN's square, the pink bot bringing its blade over the top as Speed Bison barges it into the wall, resulting in a dual collision. ISAN manages to get spun away, only to be once again broadsided by Speed Bison, rolled and slammed into the wall drum, blowing a couple of chunks out of the bot. This pattern basically repeats for a while, ISAN getting a couple of hits in whilst being slammed and jammed into the drums. Eventually, though, ISAN's able to get a solid hit in, blowing the top armour of Speed Bison apart. Unfortunately, on the same visit to the drums, ISAN manages to blow a track, increasing its drive disadvantage even more. As it struggles to shed the last of the track, SB manages to flank once more, and this time the drum manages to dislodge a track more important than the drive ones: the weapon chain. Left weaponless, Maxi's barely able to play defensively enough to take it to a JD, though it doesn't look hopeful for them.

Damage: 3-2 Speed Bison
Control: 5-0 Speed Bison
Aggression: 4-1 Speed Bison

Your winner, by a 12-3 decision, is Speed Bison!


In the Red Square; don’t say what big teeth this bot has, ‘cause they’ll gladly use them to turn you you into Little Dead Riding Hood! A real grim fairy tale with an unhappy bloody ending, it’s the wily wolven warrior known only as… HATI!

In the Blue Square; you’d have to be Possessed and on the Edge Of Sanity to Deicide to fight this Behemoth to the Death. They’ll turn you to Gorguts, perform your Autopsy, and then write your Obituary after you’ve become a Carcass! Here this November with intent to Dismember, it’s ARC’s very own Morbid Angel… DEATH METAL!

On the sound of the horn, Hati zips out of the square with death in its eyes – heralded with light smoke and a loud screech from its tyres as it peels away in a burst of speed – while Death Metal moves out more tentatively; the bar quickly reaching top speed with its air raid siren-like death hum as it looks to draw fresh blood. The two approach tentatively, Death Metal keeping its distance away from the walls, and Hati circling round toward the back end of Death Metal. Hati charges, Death Metal swings around to the side… and Hati stops, letting Death Metal’s blade sail past it. Hati immediately takes advantage and rams into the exposed side, immediately making a beeline with its opponent to the nearby wall, slamming Death Metal bar-first into the wall.
Death Metal skitters away, leaving several gashes on the floor and wall in its wake (we’re sending Danielle the bill in the morning. :v – The Writers). Hati turns to catch it as it lands but makes the mistake of driving underneath too quickly; causing Death Metal’s still-spinning bar to clip the top edge of the scoop and put a sizeable dent in it. Hati’s more-or-less okay due to mostly superficial damage though, so it captures Death Metal as it lands, before quickly forcing it into the nearby drum, carving a gouge into the back end and flinging it away. Death Metal lands back on its wheels and immediately begins spinning up again, putting some distance between itself and its opponent. Hati approaches again to go in with the juke; but this time, Death Metal’s ready for it. It doesn’t take the bait, and this time reverses toward it as Hati does, then swings the fully spun-up bar right into the side as it stops… KERAAAAAAAASH! The blow sends Hati reeling away with a big gash in the corner scoop, giving Death Metal time to clip it once more before it escapes.

The back-and-forth skirmish between the two continues for most of the battle, and by the time the last 30 seconds approach, both bots are limping from all the attacks adding up. Hati’s front scoop is badly buckled around the edges (with a couple of huge gashes in the front) and it’s missing a chunk off the left tyre from Death Metal’s bar clipping it; the rear end of Death Metal has a panel partially gouged away at the back where the drums have hit it, and both bots seem to be moving more slowly. Hati gets a few more rams in (and some attempts to get it back to the drums, which Death Metal dodges and capitalises on by clipping the wounded areas with the bar) before the time goes, but neither are able to truly finish the other off. It’s up to the judges to decide!
Aggression: 3-2 (Hati)
Damage: 4-1 (Death Metal)
Strategy: 3-2 (Hati)

Death Metal wins on a 8-7 Split Decision.


Both bots get moving quickly, colliding, both bots delivering solid hits on one another, one of Bobtoady's eyes going flying. Fork Bomb keeps control, slamming strike after strike into Bobtoady's top, before it suddenly pivots... aaaaaand Fork Bomb's just a wedge now. Uh oh. Fork Bomb's still able to keep up pressure though, throwing Bobtoady into the drums and pressuring for a flank, but Bobtoady manages to get another direct hit in before Hii can pull it off, killing the bot dead.

Bobtoady wins by KO in 0:59.


mk tanto has like forks or a flat wedge dude that doesn't count as configs that need declaration. anywho match starts and wedge things happen. tanto ends up under, manhandles PETA for a bit. I feel like there's a joke I could make here but I have 4 brain cells so not gonna happen. anywho no drum magic just plastering into walls. release, neutral, reengage. bit of a longer fight this time, petaflare gets a few passing wedgings as tanto misses angles and wheelies once, but the faster 2wd wedge escapes before tri can really react. eventually Tanto gets under again, and this time there IS some drum magic.

now, technically speaking the drums do checks notes a fuckload of damage to petaflare. I fundamentally disagree with this but hey let's knock off a wheel or something it's all in good fun right? this makes peta's job twice as hard as it used to be, but there's still 3 left under there and it's not like it had that much ground clearance to begin with so it didnt really make the wedge any wonkier. it's also really not making peta any worse at what it was doing for the entire match.

unfortunately most of what peta is doing is delaying the inevitable buy fending off tanto without really getting a chance to counter-aggress, as it once again ends up wedged and then smashed into some walls. and up on a drum. I'm listening to waltz of the flowers right now btw and it feels very fitting as a theme to this fight, if you wanted some music to accompany this match that's been a bit of a curbstomp so far.

no damage from the drums this time because I'm done having hazards that kill reasonably armored bots for no reason but petaflare does end up upside down so it gets bullied some more. we do eventually see tri regain neutral though, and eventually, finally, baits tanto into a horrible mistake.
said horrible mistake is tanto getting far too close to a wall, letting peta lurch its way into cornering the bot, getting a perfect crush in on one of the wheels. look at that thing buckle. look at that thing veeeery slowly squish down into a long oval. look at that bot unable to move, just as time expires in the fight.

aggression: 5-0 ICBiNT
damage: 3-2 Petaflare
control: 4-1 ICBiNT

your winner, in an 11-4 decision, is I can't believe it's not tanto!


this is one of those knock out drag down fights that has big, explosive hits; some sick flips with mad gyro effects, impressive evasion, surprising aggression, and incredible tenacity out of the spinner. it has a flipper that uses its weapon judiciously, managing to avoid serious weapon damage until late on in the fight - and when he loses the weapon, he loses it feeding chem x to one of the drums, trading his weapon for a track tread.

the fight stops being so explosive in the last minute thanks to that, mostly becoming a lot of wall pins accompanied by the sound of a blade grinding on metal, just barely kept from getting a good bite on something.

Aggression: 3-2 PneumatiX
Damage: 3-2 Pneumatix
Control: 3-2 Chem X

Your winner, on an 8-7 judge's decision, is Xtreme PneumatiX!


we have hit that point where I just have to shit out a bad result in order to force myself into writing again so HERE WE GO BOIS.

oh dear lord it's actually just a spinner mirror at least this can be quick then. they both approach. they both fly away. repeat 5 times. crowd loves it, writers hate it, the usual schebang. HYB breaks first, I think because whirlpool was getting better contact on its hits with the less teeth thing. turns out big bite is in fact useful in these sorts of fights.

Your winner, by KO in 1:11, is Whirlpool!


Okay so right off the bat Listen Here Granddad, This is America. Everyone Here Eats Ass is banking a ton on it's "High Torque" of exactly 2 (note the omnis), catching the driver by surprise when it doesn't immediately rev up to top speed as expected. Not a good look when your win condition is to drumfuck the other guy before he's able to whittle your defenses away.

On the other hand, Chronic Jobber does the Tombstone thing in such a completely predictable and telegraphed fashion that, honestly? I'd be kind of offended if I were Archangel. In any case, we see LHG,TiAEHEA (or "assbot" in legal terms) get an early rush despite what I said about it's relatively low torque. Into the drum aaand 5 damage lol bye bye rear wedge. Game balance is my passion. Let's see if it gets another hit on the wheels for the W.

...1 minute later and we see assbot's front wedges starting to come loose. Repeated hits are certainly something, huh? CJ ricochets with each hit, but assbot also keeps doing so juuust enough to make pinning difficult. Jobber eventually does end up getting a wheel snipped by the drum, but only on account of it self-flinging.

Exhaustingly long name wins by """knockout""" in 1:47.


This is a real edge of your seat fight, folks. We have two very good flippers here: the American-Style Icebreaker, against the Brit-Style Thieving Magpie. One of these machines is going out in the first round, we’ll find out who in 3… 2… 1… FIGHT!

Icebreaker’s first out of the gate, and coming in quite aggressively, Thieving Magpie’s kind of dodging around, playing rope-a-dope I think. Icebreaker gets under its side but only with the side forks, not the flipper, and TMP gets away. There’s some more incidental wedging from TMP, but no action from the flipper. TMP backs off, closer to the spike strip, Icebreaker comes in…

Uh oh! And TMP gets under it, sliding all the way under the chassis! Icebreaker fires its flipper, but doesn’t get free, it’s accidentally lined itself up almost perfectly for a run at the central pit- and there it goes! It’s over in a single patient, well-timed stroke of Thieving Magpie’s flipper! Well, so much for that, but I guess it was a nail biting thirty seconds or so!

Your winner, by OOTA in 0:31, is The Thieving Magpie!

Arc: The Dirty Dozen - Round Two

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2020 5:33 pm
by Trihunter
Round Two

Hooh, I'm rusty and burnt out from assignments and shit. If I die, make it sick as fuck, ok, writer?

Yeah so no, the rest of your RP that includes using a hazard as a wall to make an artificial corner so you can actually corner camp in the quasi circle arena is not compatible with a sick as fuck writeup, sry.
Oh wait spoilers, dammit.

The fight starts and The Big Spook is already fast as fucc boi, Scrapper looks like a turtle in comparison, the slow spinup doesn't help, not like it needs any speed in that weapon tho. While TBS plays with its speed and wiggly waggly stick Scrapper faces it while backing itself into the wall, right next to a drum hazard. Getting even close to that thing would usually be a terrible idea as it has proven to be quite lethal (Scrapper isn't really a tank either) but you see, Tri has positioned himself just besides it so the drum hazard denies about half of the possible approach angles from one side. In other words Tri managed to figure out a way to corner camp in an arena with 30° corners.

Yeah so TBS is not going to commit suicide yet so instead it just faces Tri's driving booth and gives him a dissapointed look and then proceeds to spin in circles for a while until Scrapper starts getting counted out. Of course TBS tries to get in in that moment but fails completely at getting a good angle, thankfully it realizes and backs off before getting munchered by a spiny drum. This means we go back to camping btw.


Scrapper is forced to move out again and the pumpkin immediately sneaks into the exact corner that was being camped on. The both play a weird game of chasing each other for a few seconds until TBS unsurprisingly gets under Scrapper's back. This is pretty bad for the turtle as now all of its wheels are off the floor and also they didn't end up facing the wall so Goat can take it anywhere easily.

Spookybot does do the expected thing and feeds Scrapper into the drum hazards but does it at an angle, don't know if it was part of the plan or not but it does make Tri's bot take the hit from the chassis wedge thing instead of the tankier spinner.
Anyways big hit, Scrapper flies back and lands halfway to the center, oh also TBS completely exploded despite not even being hit directly. The entire chasis on Cool Story Brobotics's bot is bent enough for the drum to no longer spin, meanwhile TBS is just a barebones chasis with two wheels and a wedge attached on one end, pumpkin pieces are spread all over the arena and the floppy arm is still waggling despiste it just being part of the debris at this point.

Scrapper does it's best to survive while the reminder of TBS that is still very very fast tries to push it to a drum hazard again, too bad that when it gets under it just goes through and under the drum not so spinner instead of pushing it, so yeah neither bot can do much for the rest of the fight. This doesn't take long to get old so i will just fast forward to when the timer runs out.

Damage: 4-1 Scrapper
Control: 3-2 The Big Spook
Aggression: 5-0 The Big Spook
Your winner, by a 9-6 decision, is The Big Spook!


Yeah. Big killfuck 16 point spinner vs controlbot with a bunch of edges on the front that might as well have a 32pt comic sans "HIT ME HERE!" sign stapled onto it. Thing could be a lot easier if the latter had the proper alt config to deal with this matchup, but eh. Let's see what these guys have in store for strategies.

Skoll spins up. Mmm. Yes, good. Wind up, hit em hard.
Lethal Carriageway attempts to box rush in an arena with an anti-boxrush nail, turning around the pit and ramming right into the blade. With it's front. The one with the gap that I was just ragging on. And it has 10 armor. This seems like a bad idea.


It was a bad idea.

Skoll wins by KO in 0:20.


OTSC comes out the more aggressive of the two, and gets lucky, managing to bypass the flipper of swordfish, getting under it from an angle but struggling to do much with the opening, as swordfish keeps continuously turning, strafing, trying to get that flipper into a better position. They do this dance for a good 15 seconds before Ys is finally able to get OTSC under the forks of swordfish, and THERE’S A GOOD SLAM.

And now the boring part where we watch a bot get pinned.

And now back to the action. Neutral reset after a bit of yakkity sax getaway scene outta swordfish to extricate itself from its unfortunate previous position. Goes better for him this time, manages to get the tongue under and get a good flip in, with some followup, but he’s struggling to contain OTSC, whose fast acceleration is letting YS get out of cornered situations far easier than they should be. Ys gets a good angle again after a bit, and is able to get another few slams about the arena as swordfish flips and flops about, trying to make space, get anything started.

Instead, it gets a faceful of drum for its trouble, courtesy of OTSC. The aforementioned drum decides it is hungry and takes a wheel with it. On most bots that wouldn’t really be that much of an issue, but on swordfish, it severely hampers mobility to the point where the bot can’t really defend itself. another trip to the drums later in the match seals the deal entirely, and dashes the run of the flipperbot. Kinda sad tbh it’s a good design, and I expect it to do well in future tournaments

Your winner, by KO in 2:44, is OTSC!


Seeing as advanced cloning techniques haven't happened yet on ARC --unfortunately, Alex V flunked out of St Joe Musashi's Ninja Training School by the time they were getting round to teaching them -- this one couldn't go ahead as planned. But thanks to the miracle of randomizers, the decision on which Ice Cubed Robotics bot continues in the competition (best of 11) went like this...

1) Jackal
2) Jackal
3) Dreadnought
4) Dreadnought
5) Jackal
6) Jackal
7) Dreadnought
8) Jackal
9) Dreadnought
10) Jackal
11) Dreadnought

Jackal wins the toss 6-5 and moves onto Round 3.


The match starts off with speed bison being aggressive and strategic :V . the time it takes for him to line up a good shot does let DM get up to full speed. As it turns out DM has a little gambit as well, something the driver had discussed in the pits with our interviewer. She seemed aware that it had a low chance of working, but as Speed bison’s front left wheel goes rolling off across the arena, one could say that it did its job. Both Jack and his bot seem remarkably unperturbed by this injury, however, and the next set of hits see Death metal eating a faceful of plow on repeat, the bot flying about every which way and doing all that glorious dancing that it was… well not really designed to do, but does quite well.

SB’s actually able to get off a decent pin, keeping the spinner up against a wall for a long while, then ramming it blade first into a drum, destroying that arena hazard and sending both bots flying, resetting them to a neutral. Speed bison is a hare slower than it used to be, I feel, as it sets up for its next rush, again taking a blade full force to the face. This time DM bounces almost straight up and lands next to speed bison, taking out a chunk of rubber on the back left tire. Somehow SB is still going, though, as it hangs an awkwardly wide turn and gives another rush, this time losing a portion of plow as DM’s blade wraps behind it, embedding it in the arena wall.
Still, it doggedly continues, eating another massive hit, this time sending DM careening into the wall. The spinner grinds at the floor for a bit before the bot slips free, just in time to eat another rush, a hit that sends it dancing across the arena, over the drums, and to the flat area behind the drums. SB moves to block DM’s exit, as Danielle doggedly spins up her weapon bar once more, apparently preferring to chance it with a ricochet than eat a guaranteed plowin into the drums. I don’t blame her. Unfortunately she gets a plowin into the drums anyway, although not after leaving a telling dent in SB’s plow.

This time DM can’t protect itself from the drums, and a wheel is more or less shorn completely off the bot. it goes flying, and DM stays pretty close to the drums, with its weapon whirring angrily, one wheel spinning, letting the bot still defend its flank, somewhat. With just 10 seconds left to go, Jack just can’t get a good enough angle on DM to get that finishing shove into the drums. has he done enough to win?

Aggression: 3-2 Speed Bison
Control: 3-2 Death Metal
Damage: 3-2 Death Metal
Your winner, on a nailbiter 8-7 decision, is DEATH METAL!


The match kicks off with Bobtoady getting up to speed, before the infamous magic smoke is unleashed, Bobtoady literally shitting out a battery and smashing it into tiny pieces with its spinner's momentum. Tanto barely has the time to drive over in time to get beaned by the battery shrapnel. After the expected cease call, Bobtoady isn't exactly in a functional state, unfortunately.

I Can't Believe It's Not Tanto wins by FF


Here we go, we’ve got Whirlpool spinning up, it’s not exactly a quick robot but manages to get I think mostly up to full speed, and Xtreme Pneumatix is not wanting to engage that weapon. Whirlpool seems to be leading with its front wedge, but XP’s trying to get around the outside of that. Whirlpool’s not the quickest-turning bot but it is keeping up okay – no gyro effect since it’s currently fighting as an undercutter, which could be a problem for XP’s forks if it’s low enough to actually hit them.

XP takes a gamble going for the side, but Whirlpool turns in time, and – oh, it looks like it actually got underneath Xtreme Pneumatix, and pivots the ring into it and gets a good smack that tosses Xtreme Pneumatix aside. There’s a dent in the wedge and it looks like a small hole or gash, but Whirlpool wasn’t able to get a good bite and it doesn’t seem to have taken serious damage.

Undaunted, XP comes in again and this time gets under. Whirl pivots into it but just scrapes the side, and it takes a pop from XP’s flipper! It wobbles in the air, and there’s a lot of sparks when it lands! Whirlpool goes pirouetting across the box and doinks the wall – and now the weapon’s slowed and they’ve got to create some distance. It’s near the wall, turns to keep the ring pointed away from it – and that’s the opportunity XP was looking for to get under the side! There’s another flip, and again the weapon smacks the floor. The ring’s now basically stopped, and XP’s out for blood, rushing in and smacking it against the wall drum, then following up with a flip that turns Whirlpool on its head!
Whirlpool’s inverted, but the ring is now at an angle. We’ll see if that causes gyro issues – oh, yes it does! It scrapes the floor, and – well, XP does end up getting hit by the weapon but takes advantage and slips under. There’s more scraping, and… a missed OOTA attempt!

Xtreme Pneumatix is more or less controlling the fight for about a minute, but takes some more gashes in its wedge and a lucky skip nicks a tire. Actually kind of breaks it in half, and now XP can’t control the fight as easily, and – ooh, that’s a big hit, Whirlpool tears a huge chunk of the wedge loose but throws itself into the wall. XP can’t drive well enough to get in there before it spins back up, though, and now this fight is dangerous for Xtreme Pneumatix, because I’m not sure that wedge will take much more – ooer, another scraping blow, and Whirlpool clips the floor again and… uh oh, it goes into the wall drum! It ends up upright, but loses a tire, and it’s the one under the ring, which is now scraping the floor unfortunately.
But it is moving at least, and sooooort of in a controlled fashion? No driving awards here, but XP’s left wheel has now stopped entirely as well and Whirlpool seems to be moving better than it is. It sort of limps up to it and pivots its wedge under the corner of XP. XP fires the flipper to get free, and it gets stuck in the up position, so now it’s a true cripple fight for the remaining 15 seconds.

Judges’ Decision:
Damage: Whirlpool 4, Xtreme Pneumatix 1
Aggression: Whirlpool 2, Xtreme Pneumatix 3
Control: Whirlpool 2, Xtreme Pneumatix 3

Your winner, by an 8-7 Judges’ Decision, is Whirlpool!


Alright, home stretch of the round. Let's do this.

Both bots kick off, Magpie angling, and LHGTIAEHEA (Actually, I'm just gonna call it ass, acronyms are hard.) strafing. Nothing fancy yet. Ass is the first under, slamming Magpie ass-first into the drums, launching it up and over with some nasty scuffs on the back end. After returning to neutral, Shaba successfully predicts an assault, sliding under the diagonal of Ass, hoisting it up, its thwack saving it from being inverted, bouncing down at a slight angle and using a quick spin to get Magpie to clear off. The third collision, Magpie's under once more. Not falling for it twice, Magpie shunts Ass until it slips sideways on its flipper, before rolling it completely over on the next flip. Ass fires off the puncher for some reason, before blasting arm-first into the drums, bouncing it up and over right-side up, completely blindsiding Shaba, the commentators, and damn near everyone backstage with that ballsy strat. Regardless, we're back to neutral again, although Ass' front end is looking a bit scraped up now.

Ass is able to keep ahead of Magpie for the next few collisions, successfully scooping it up, alternating between slamming it into the spiked walls at full tilt, and yeeting it into the drums. The last strike seemed to catch the tread of Magpie's left tyre on hit, flipping it over and spewing a little rubber in the air. A quick srimech put Shaba back in the match, though. The tempo kept in Ass' favour down to the final buzzer, though, giving Shaba not a single inch. Let's see what the judges think.

Damage: 3-2 Ass
Control: 3-2 Ass
Aggression: 3-2 Magpie

Your winner, by an 8-7 decision, is Listen Here, Grandad, This Is America. Everyone Here Eats Ass!

ARC: The Dirty Dozen - Quarter Finals

Posted: Mon Dec 28, 2020 12:32 pm
by Trihunter

It would appear that Siobhan's going for the shadow clone ninjutsu technique, having dumped a literal pallet's worth of jack-o-lanterns in their starting square. On the other side of the ring, HFL has started their bot backwards. It's going to be one of those fights, isn't it?

Skoll reverses into the OotA wall to spin up, before approaching the pile of pumpkins, just cleaving through all of them. Siobhan's side of the arena walls have been completely coated in pumpkin gunge, and- yep, that's a smashed Etek. It's not too easy to confirm, but Big Spook died somewhere in the middle of that massacre.

Skoll wins by KO in 0:30.


I am once again asking why the signups and robot pics are in two separate threads.

MATCH START, and right off the bat we see Jackal doing the some bricky "be aggressive" song-and-dance, while OTSC does much the same, but upside down. Wow!

No but really both guys shuffle around for maybe 5 seconds tops before OTSC goes on the aggro. Jackal responds by backing off slightly, making sure this plays out on his terms. With 4 torque on these drivetrains, this really comes down to reaction times. Jackal eventually gets under thanks to it's advantageously-placed wedgelets, but isn't really able to do much before OTSC veers off. You'll find that this becomes a recurring theme pretty quick- agile drivetrains make for a highly tactical neutral game, but less-than-exciting offensive breakthroughs. OTSC manages to barely skid Jackal's front wheels off the ground for the occasional wallslam, Jackal pancakes OTSC over a couple times close-ish-kinda to the center pit. Other than that...

CTL: 3-2 Jackal

OTSC wins by an 8-7 judge's decision.


Ah shit, here we go again. Death Metal spins up, smashing into Tanto, only for it to suddenly disappear.

Damn, I guess they really couldn't believe it wasn't Tanto...

Death Metal wins by KO in 0:05 (FF)


Okay, Whirlpool’s spinning up, LHG books it across the arena as Whirlpool heads for the central OOTA wall, and – ooh, we’ve actually got a successful box rush for maybe the first time in D12 history, LHG beats it around the wall and goes for the backside of Whirlpool. It pivots the spinner into it but gets deflected by LHG’s wedge, spinning itself around. LHG’s knocked back, and with the omni wheels it does have a little trouble resisting that. Whirlpool makes it to the wall where presumably the strategy is to start turtling, and, uhh, basically grinding against the wall. To Whirlpool’s credit this strategy works long enough to get the weapon up to dangerous speed before LHG realizes that this completely takes Whirlpool’s wedge out of play as a threat because it can just attack from the left side and Whirlpool can do absolutely nothing about it: it’s too slow to just lead it in circles and it can’t turn around without having its weapon pointed at the wall.

Instead it settles for maybe trying to angle itself a bit, but can’t pull it off because it’s shoved itself that close to the wall. Regardless, LHG rams into the weapon, and Whirlpool knocks itself flying away from the wall. There’s a gash in the wedge, though – uh oh, and when LHG comes in for more, there’s a bit hit that sends Whirlpool almost into the spike strips – but LHG’s wedge is split in half! No wait, it’s not even solid, there’s that punching bar in the middle still, and that might’ve hurt it because the left side of the plow’s now significantly bent outward.
Whirlpool’s now thoroughly on the defensive, though, and Listen Here Grandad isn’t letting it get away with the Totally Not Cornercamping, Guys! Strategy. There’s some more tooth-floor contact and Whirlpool is now humping the spikestrip instead of the wall – oh dear, and there’s some thrusting going on from Listen Here Grandad as well! Good grief, this is a family-friendly even – err, I’m being informed that the full name of this robot, which is so long it goes off the edge of my teleprompter, is actually “Listen Here, Grandad, this is America. Everyone Here Eats Ass.” Huh. Well, never mind on the family-friendly part if that name got allowed. What the hell, Whirlpool’s practically getting spitroasted by Listen Here Grandad’s punching bar getting underneath its ground clearance, but there’s no penetration by the arena spikes – and one rule they do still have to follow is the pin limit, LHG is going to have to back off soon, and due to recent events I have to clarify this does mean actually back off. Which it does, but the problem is it’s just so fast that Whirlpool – oh no, it gets the wedgelets into play- Whirlpool pivots, and it wasn’t at full speed I don’t think but there’s sparks and there’s runaway omni wheel rollers!
LHG’s still moving just fine – it looks like that right front wheel’s still mostly in one piece and the double layer of rollers saved it. Whirlpool’s away, and repeating the turtling strategy, and – ohh, he runs away clockwise, then reverses course when LHG outpaces it, LHG rushes in to try to stop that spinup – oh, and that’s another big hit! Whirlpool pirouettes on its side/ass, and smacks the floor again, but the left side of Listen Here Grandad’s wedge is completely torn off! At this point they have to aim that plow perfectly or Whirlpool can tear it apart – that’s not perfect and the central puncher wedge is bent and I think actually split – but Whirlpool goes into the wall drums. That’s a good smack to the ring, popping it in the air – but LHG finishes the job, ramming it right back into the hazard! And again… and again! Whirlpool’s getting chewed up pretty badly, one wedgelet is severely bent and it looks like there’s actually a cover plate loose. It’s struggling to drive and the weapon isn’t spinning up as quickly.
And, uhh… that’s kind of all she wrote, because it doesn’t look like Whirlpool’s main pair of wheels is working very well, and with a slow drivetrain as it is, plus whatever issues the weapon motors are having, it’s pretty easy for Listen Here Grandad to just stuff it, and after over thirty seconds of abuse Whirlpool gets stuck on the covers over the wall drums with its good wheel high-centered.

Your winner, by knockout in 2:21, is Listen Here Grandad!

ARC: The Dirty Dozen - Semifinals

Posted: Sat Jan 23, 2021 9:01 am
by Trihunter

Skoll tries to "go in the middle of the arena", but neglects the fact that there's a big pit there, so HFL physically picks up and dumps it into said pit. OTSC wins by OOTA in 0:00 ez clappers boys

...the match-ending-fakeout joke will get stale one of these days.

That aside, a lot of this just consists of OTSC ramming its face into Skoll's bar. A big grey wedge, with a strategy exhibiting all the complexity of gorilla droppings. While YSM would love for Skoll to start flopping around like crazy on impact, that just isn't happening with how steep the wedge is. Skoll ends up staying pretty much upright on each hit. There is a scare or two where it looks like Skoll might start coining, but these are quickly subverted. This, along with the almost-run-ins with the drum, make things very perilous for Skoll as the clock ticks down. OTSC drives forward without giving Skoll the chance to capitalize on wheelies.

Oh, as for damage? 3 damage on a wedge that's wider than an 18 wheeler truck bed. Doubt you could rack up enough repeated hits within 5 minutes, let alone 180 seconds.

A short while later:
DMG: 3-2 Skoll

OTSC wins by a 9-6 judge's decision. For the record, I was rooting for the other guy. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


Ok, we got a horizontal spinner and a fast brick. I think we've done this one before a few times.

Siobhan's off to the races, D O R I F T O ing around the centre as Death Metal gets up to speed. The first hit is brutal, Ass sent spiralling across the floor, a decently large shard of black armour flying off, with Death Metal actually suffering less recoil, surprisingly. However, Ass is just about able to recover and jam itself into DM's blade before it reaches lethal speeds, halting it with another dent taken. Shunting Death Metal back, Ass takes it to the drums, which throw DM up into the air, blasting open the rear end of the bot. Against all odds, DM is still functional, managing to clear out some space to get up to speed, a hasty spin giving it just enough time to land another hit, catching the already damaged seam and blasting the entire puncher head apart! The recoil from the strike brings Ass dangerously close to getting struck by the drums itself, but rushes back in to engage. Shaba, however, keeps up their momentum, using their new opening to rip another hunk out of the wedge, blowing it back once more. The third strike tears the right half of the wedge clean off, and this time gets them airborne on the screws! Ass lands hard, and as it moves in once more, it's clear that the front right wheel isn't functional any more, though this isn't too much of an issue, thanks to the slippy drive. One final collision throws both bots back, magic smoke erupting from Ass' chassis as it touches down. However, DM takes a hefty hit too, again on the screws, blowing the top plate clean off and littering the arena with erupting chunks of LiPos. Neither bot is moving, naturally. Kind of hard to when your ass is eaten by the drums, or your face by a spinner like that. So, it looks like we've a double KO on our hands, so it's over to the judges to decide who goes through to the grand final!

Damage: 3-2 Ass
Control: 3-2 Ass
Aggression: 3-2 Ass

Your winner, by a 9-6 judge's decision, is Listen Here Grandpa, This Is America, Everyone Here Eats Ass!

ARC: The Dirty Dozen - Grand Final

Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2021 10:21 am
by Trihunter
Grand Final

And here we are, at the end of it all. A pure wedge and an omnidrive puncher. Sounds about right for ARC.

Both bots kick off the match with the usual quick wedgey approaches, a n g l i n g i n as you'd expect. Grandad gets under first, shoving OTSC back into the central wall, throwing them over. OTSC manages to recover enough to get under this time, taking them towards the drums, only for Grandad to escape, returning us to neutral.
The fight continues about how you'd expect. Lots of wedging, not much damage. Grandad is getting under more often, getting around the sides and back of OTSC, rushing about with short bursts of energy, scooping up and rolling the silver bot. Maxi, however, is gunning for longer pushes when they get the chance, quickly angling the neon green bot towards the drums, although most are thwarted with a quick fire of the puncher or some careful maneuvering. And with a few attempts, OTSC manages to get Grandad on the drums! The box is thrown upwards, surviving the hit well enough, and getting back to scrappy brawling. In the final moments of the fight, Grandad's thwack clips the drums as it recovers from a wedging, bending it ever so slightly as the buzzer goes. Guess it's time for the judges.

Damage: 3-2 OTSC
Control: 3-2 Grandad
Aggression: 3-2 Grandad

Your winner, by an 8-7 decision, and the Dirty Dozen grand champion, is Listen Here, Grandad, This Is America, Everyone Here Eats Ass!

3rd Place Playoffs

For our third place match we got two horizontal deathspinners, a significantly more interesting matchup than the actual finals if i say so myself.
Skoll decides to start the match upright in undercutter position while Death Metal starts inverted which makes it a sorta overcutter, but it really makes no difference and they still can hit each other's weapons it seems. Skoll opted for the pointy scythe blade while it's opponent went for its pointiest but ultimately regular looking toothed bar.
The fight starts and both weapons start spinning counterclockwise, everything indicates that they both are actively trying to make the spinners hit into each other, which means big hits for us to watch. Bucle up kiddos because we seem to be going for a hell of a ride.
Death Metal approaches the center and stays there a bit while Skoll catches up, then Shaba tries the good old Tombstone-bait-that-i-shouldn't-need-to-explain-at-this-point and, to absolutely no one's surprise, HFL does not fall for it. So we get an engagement of DM inching forward, presumably to take advantage of it's slight reach advantage. Soon enough the big hit does happen and both bots go flying apart, Skoll went farther away but DM did go up a lot and does some bouncy stuff so it probably took the short end of the stick there.
They get closer to each other after landing and DM inches forward again and this time it seems that it actually made DM hit the side of Skoll's weapon or something. It didn't do much other than pushing it back a bit for free but still. Then it happens again and but the third hit in a row is more even with a bit more airtime for Death Metal, HFL tries to capitalize on this but can't quite get back to DM in time to get any additional advantage and gets flicked back again, thanks reach.
If you where getting bored then i am glad to tell you that we soon get another hit that flings both bots back pretty far, which effectively puts us back to the very start... dammit this sounded more interesting in my head, the damage is probably adding up at this point.
Anyways Death Metal ended up close to one of the drum hazard so Shaba ends up immediately making a run and just rams its weapon into Skoll without any driving shenanigans, and you know what it actually worked spectacularly somehow, probably dumb luck. Sure DM jumped into the air again but Skoll is busy bouncing off a wall and stuff so no taking advantage of that. Wait is the spinner on DM slowing down? wait no its back up again, it was probably slowed down intentionally to stabilize the landing now that it was safe. The spinner on Skoll does actually seem a bit wobbly tho.
Now we get like 20 seconds of both bots trying to slightly outmaneuver the other one and get the slightly better hit until HFL gets his hit in and sends DM like 12ft up and 7ft back, giving him enough time to land another hit before Death Metal stabilizes fully. Guess what, the spinner on Death Metal looks wobbly too!
Big spin goes into big spin again and again a few more times until Skoll hits in just the right place and a tooth on Death Metal's bar goes flying, that is a large-size oof in my book. Now Shaba has to choose between using the weapon and having anything even resembling control over her bot. All hope is not lost yet as one side of Skoll's drive seems to be dying and coming back to life every few seconds, yay.
The captain at Team Stealth chooses to go all in and hit with full power anyway to try to get the really big final hit and...
The shaky mess hits the less shaky mess and Death Metal gets thrown far far away and a few pieces of different sizes go flying instantly, then the unstable spinner still attached the bot hits the floor and bounces off far away again and again and this goes on for like 8 seconds until the thing lands on top of a drum hazard, so the chasis gets munched instantly and a lot of tiny pieces gets scattered on the floor.
HFL uses his spinner to quite literally sweep the floor while Death Metal gets counted out.

Skoll wins by knockout in 1:52 and gets the Dirty Dozen's Third Place!