CBC3 SHW: Santangelo vs KEGATRON

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Madman
Posts: 433
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm
Location: Fighting in the shade

CBC3 SHW: Santangelo vs KEGATRON

Post by Madman » Sat Mar 16, 2019 9:05 pm

Me: all the stats

Kegatron: sadly, none

1) kegatron can't damage me.

2) Kegatron has no feeder wedges. Flexy wheels don't let your spinner get under 2WD toothed wedges.

3) my bot is smooth, like a dolphin's forehead. Nothing for the bugger to catch on. If it hits me, it'll bounce up and back off my wedge. Physics, fam.

4) I'm a young, handsome, rich savage

5) profit.

Honestly, no disrespect to my opponent, but this is a fight where I just have its number. noot noot straight out my starting square like someone lit my ass on fire and just smash into it. Stay front first and just flick and toss it here and there, into hazards and shit like that. Try to line it up for a good old fashioned OOTA. It's a 2 foot wall and my flipper sucks, but just the kinetic energy of me ramming it and the stroke of my flipper might make it possible. If not, let her spin up with her back to the OOTA zone and hit me. Maybe she'll pop herself in. Watch for baiting and sneaky OOTA attempts, because that's the only way she's getting me. Generally just control the fight.

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Rocket
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Re: CBC3 SHW: Santangelo vs KEGATRON

Post by Rocket » Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:18 pm

KEGATRON (2WD full-body drum)
Speed: 5 | Traction: 6-1 | Torque: 1 | Weapon: 12 | Armour: 6 | Wedge: It's a full-body drum ffs | Spin Direction: Downward

Santangelo (2WD flipper in name only)
Speed: 8 | Traction: 7 | Torque: 2 | Weapon: 1 | Armour: 12 | Wedge: 2WD static

KEGATRON FEARS NOT THE ARTICLE OF WHITE GOODS ARRAYED BEFORE IT! KEGATRON FEARS NOUGHT! FEAR IS USELESS AND TEMPORARY! KEGATRON SEES THIS SANTANGELO, THIS APPROXIMATELY ONE-HALF OF AN OLD DISHWASHER, AND FORMULATES A MIGHTY BATTLE PLAN TO SUNDER THIS TUMBLE DRYER WITH DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR!

SINCE THIS ALREADY-CLEFT-IN-TWAIN-REFRIGERATOR BEARS AS POTENT AND MIGHTY A WEAPON AS DOES A EUNUCH IN THE PRESENCE OF HIS GRANDMOTHER, KEGATRON KNOWS THAT IT SHALL BE ATTEMPTING TO CONTROL THE FIGHT WITH ITS SHIELDED WEDGE. SUCH PAUCITY OF STRATEGY GIVES KEGATRON THE CHANCE TO PERFORM MIGHTY FEATS OF ACROBATICS FOR THE DELIGHT OF ONLOOKERS! WHEN BATTLE IS JOINED, KEGATRON SHALL ROAR ITS MIGHTY DRUM INTO LIFE AND MAKE IMMEDIATELY FOR THE FOE, USING THIS MAJESTIC WEAPON TO CATCH THE BACK OF THE MACHINE AND FLING KEGATRON AWAY FROM IT AT PACE. KEGATRON SHALL TREAT THIS ENRAGED HOTPOINT WASHING MACHINE AS IT ITSELF WOULD TREAT SPINNERS; AS AKIN TO A CHARGING, ANGRY BULL, TO BE SIDESTEPPED AND DODGED IN A MANNER MOST BALLETIC. WHILE THIS LIMP-FLIPPERED INDESIT IS FASTER THAN KEGATRON, KEGATRON ONCE AGAIN HAS SUPERIOR DEXTERITY AND NIMBLENESS OF GIANT PLASTIC DEPLETED WOBBLERIUM WHEEL, AND AS SUCH, COUNTER-MANOEUVRING TO ENSURE KEGATRON'S MIGHTY DRUM CAN ENGAGE PROPERLY IS MORE SIMPLE THAN MIGHT BE EXPECTED.

STILL, THAT KEGATRON SHALL BE DIVING AROUND THE ARENA LIKE A DOGFIGHTING SPITFIRE DOES NOT MEAN AN ABSENCE OF TACTICAL ACUMEN. KEGATRON SHALL STAY AWAY FROM THE PIT AREA, AS THIS LINE OF TACTICS MIGHT RESULT IN KEGATRON ACCIDENTALLY FLYING OUT OF THE ARENA, AND SUCH FOLLY IS UNBECOMING OF A MIGHTY WARRIOR. KEGATRON SHALL STYMIE THE CRAVEN PIECE OF ENORMOUS WHITE KITCHEN-BASED CONSUMER ELECTRICAL GOODS' ATTEMPTS TO CONTROL THE FLOW OF COMBAT USING KEGATRON'S NATIVE, MIGHTY AGGRESSION AND PURPOSEFUL ACROBATICS! YES, KEGATRON'S FOE DOST BEAR A MIGHTY SHIELD, BUT IT IS FORCED TO HIDE BEHIND IT FOR ITS SWORD IS MOST FLOPSOME AND INOFFENSIVE!

FIGHT WELL, LITTLE DIAGONALLY-BISECTED COMBO-WASHER-DRYER, FOR NOW YOU FACE!


KEGATROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!
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