The Second Round
With the opening round in the bag, this tournament which - let's be honest - should probably never have been allowed to take place is well underway. Following a slight delay for the TO sneezing his goddamned brains out, it's time for the second round bracket. RPs will be due on Saturday, the 8th of December, at 11:59 PM EST.
If you'd like to view the bracket and current standings, please, as always, refer to our Challonge page
. Writing assignments are posted below and results will be added as they filter in. Good luck!
Second Round Matches
(1) Death's Head Sarsaparilla
- The Monsterworks
: 1-0 ~vs.~
- Team Worst Swordsman
Written by YSMQTHLQYH
The match begins with both bots approaching each other, but neither of them is fast enough to make any contact before they both reach full speed. when they are about to meet labrys stops and slowly reverses at DHS's speed, keeping a safe distance where her target is in the hammers's range but the full body spinner can't quite reach her.
Lesbianbot fires it's hammer and lands a very good hit that doesn't really accomplish much, and now Rocket realizes her mistake in her plan that The Monsterworks totally didn't predict. You see, when powerful hammers fire the entire bot tends to jump a little, a period where they don't really have any control, it's short but gives enough time to the retro-style pollution machine to close the small distance between the two, so...
Your winner, by knockout in 0:13, is Death's Head Sarsaparilla
(2) Detroit Iron
- Tartarus Robotics Group
: 1-0 ~vs.~
- Team Obscure
Written by The Monsterworks
From the moment that the two drivers take their places in the control booths opposite each other, it's clear that there's mutual dislike in this fight, and not necessarily of the manufactured-for-TV variety, either. Bastien mutters something about Laz being a sweaty tryhard under his breath, but the sweaty tryhard's hearing is so keen that he picks up on it and taunts the Frenchman by calling him a 'croissant-eating surrender monkey'. The staredown is intense - so intense, in fact, that both drivers nearly forget to, you know, drive their bots.
Once he's done mean mugging, Laz is up to his usual shenanigans. Detroit Iron hurtles out of its starting square, engine wailing, and dodges the central hump at reckless levels of speed. Maurdread, for its part, is busy spinning up, sounding like a nest of angry hornets as exhaust pours out of its pipes. The French machine makes no concerted effort to evade a box rush, but it does try to create an angle by turning a bit, lifting one side slightly off the ground from the gyroscopic effect.
Well, Laz isn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth (though, IRL, he actually totally would), and Detroit Iron slams into its opponent with sickening force, plowing it into the arena wall. The drum, not quite at full tilt, throws up a magnificent shower of sparks off of the ironically Canadian entry's wedge, scoring it deeply but failing to penetrate. Laz keeps the throttle mashed, and his bot starts pushing Maurdread along a wall towards one of the corners. A fatale catches on one of the hoops protecting the spinner's gas tank, and flings it away, not dealing any discernible damage.
The blow isn't particularly powerful, but it has enough bite that Detroit Iron gets turned around as well, and Bastien uses the opportunity to get his bot free and get it up to speed. A raspy, keening death howl reverberates across the arena. Laz doesn't care. Detroit Iron comes in, presses and, despite Maurdread's attempts to create an angle, wedges it again, slamming it into a wall and shoving it back into the fatale from before, which has turned green, and demonstrates its newfound might by scuffing up some of the paint on the drum spinner's lower bodywork.
Whether by virtue of pressing and winning the wedge war or by taking advantage of ill-advised angling attempts, Detroit Iron wins the next couple of contacts. It squanders one by trying to maneuver Maurdread onto that same fatale from an awkward angle, letting the spinner slip away. However, a second attack succeeds, and a small chunk is torn from the Team Obscure machine's right wheel. The fatale is now up to orange, which is bad news for any bot that gets too brave with it, but Maurdread has bad news of its own. With the damage to its wheel, it's struggling to move as freely as it should.
Filled with confidence that the end is in sight, Laz guns Detroit Iron straight into it and eats a massive shot from the French machine's spinning drum. Hubris. It's bad. The Tartarus Robotics entry does a 580, landing upside-down, and its engine sputters unhappily a couple of times. The bigger issue is that its wedge is now the wrong way around. Bastien knows that too, and Maurdread goes on the offensive. For it's part, the Canadian machine isn't helpless. It still has a better drivetrain, and can press its wedge in reverse. The spinner doesn't seem particularly intent on scoring another meaty hit, though, perhaps wary of flipping its opponent back over. Running its weapon at partial power, it uses it as a traction-breaker, flicking Detroit Iron up and back and shunting it around the arena. The complexion of the fight has changed entirely! A particularly hard flip flings Detroit Iron backwards and nearly back over, and its wedge is looking pretty beat up at this point, but Maurdread resumes the onslaught and continues bullying its its opponent wherever it wants and... OH! TOWARDS THE FATALE!!
Sensing the danger at the last moment, Laz gets his bot out of there. A slower machine would've been toast. Seeing an open shot at an exposed side, Maurdread turns to re-engage, revving its drum up to full power, but this causes some pretty serious gyroscopic lift, and Detroit Iron, with ALL THE SPEED, is able to dig its battered, inverted wedge beneath the gap and actually somewhat catch the Team Obscure bot on the upside-down wedge edges. What a cruel turnabout. In what should've been its moment of triumph, Maudread gets fed into the hazard and one of its wheels just bites it. That's the left. Even worse.
The spinner can only move in occasional half-circles, and Laz has to know it. Timing his approach so that Detroit Iron can still gent beneath with its compromised wedge, he comes in and slams it into a wall. However, using gyroscopic effects to his advantage, for once, Bastien is able to squirm away before Maurdread can be fed to the deadly red fatale. Settling back onto its remaining wheel, it actually manages to catch one of the corners of Detroit Iron's plow, flinging the Canadian machine violently, but also righting it in the process. An attempt to follow up is stymied by its compromised mobility.
With only about thirty seconds remaining in the match, Maurdread is all-but finished, though Bastien's managing to crabwalk it enough with gyroscopic effects to avoid being counted out. That last hit also seems to have jammed Detroit Iron's wedge in the 'up' position, meaning that it can push, but it can't wedge. Again timing Maurdread's turns, it manages to get to its side and start pushing through sheer brute force. Again, the Team Obscure machine slips free, but this time, it's only a brief freedom, as Laz reestablishes control and high-centers his opponent's bot. With only seconds remaining, it's a straight shot onto the red fatale, which is going at murderous speed. It tears one of the sideguards and Maurdread's remaining wheel off, resetting to white as the buzzer sounds. What a fantastic contest between two very good machines. Lots of twists and turns and shifts of momentum. I thoink we'll be seeing a lot more of these two in the future but, for now, it's time for the judges to decide.
Aggression: 3-2 Maurdread
Damage: 3-2 Detroit Iron
Strategy: 3-2 Detroit Iron
Result: Detroit Iron wins an 8-7 judges' decision
- Team Trihunter
: 1-0 ~vs.~
- Team Vertigo
Written by Rocket
This really is a clash of two competing styles, with the all-out offence of a shell spinner going up against a flywheel flipper armoured like it's expecting to fight off a small army. It's also a clash of approaches towards each other, as evidenced when the battle kicks off. Steelhead bursts out of the starting square towards the left-hand side of the central pillar, while Shellshock is able to play keep-away long enough to get spun up. The two robots crash into each other, Shellshock leaving scrapes and dents in the flipper's arms as Trihunter slowly wears it down. Shellshock keeps trying to back off and keep spun up, and the noise of the Wankel engine is absolutely deafening, but the flipper sticks to the shellboi like glue and eventually gets that enormous titanium shell to stop moving. Steelhead's been spinning up its KE drum the whole time, and now that Shellshock is safely parked on its arms it finally triggers the clutch, flinging the superheavyweight machine a good five feet through the air. There's an enormous BANG as the now-spinning machine crashes into the ground and bounces off to one side, self-righting pole eventually doing its job and putting the shellboi back on its feet, but Steelhead is on the case and can close before Shellshock gets up to full speed. This time, Tri elects to ram the spinner into the wall, herding it with his twin flippers and getting it stopped. Then he fires the flippers again, and this time the bot bounces out of the arena.
Winner: Steelhead, KO by OOTA, 01:45
- Team Instant Regret
: 0-1 ~vs.~
(12) The HMS Bucolic
- Angry Goat Robotics
Written by Wolf51-50 The Monsterworks
Well, from the moment that both bots start their engines and the buzzer sounds, this one's a shit show. Chernabog is laser-focused on keeping its wedge pointed at Bucolic with the end goal of crushing it, while the Angry Goat Robotics machine is equally obstinate about avoiding that wedge and certain death at all costs. What ensues is a waltz to the tune of Yakety Sax
and it's largely inconclusive. Bucolic ends up smacking abortively into Chernabog at least a half dozen times, but is forced to peel off as the Team Instant Regret machine starts to bring its crusher around. On the other end of things, Chernabog tries to bite down just as many times, but just isn't able to come to grips with its absurdly quick opponent.
The complexion of the match finally changes at about the 1:20 mark, when a bit of oversteer actually helps The HMS Bucolic powerslide around the side of the big black crusher. Gabe jams the throttle forward and his bot slams into the side of its opponent's wedge, drill going at full tilt. Flecks of black paint litter the arena floor, becoming effectively invisible upon landing, and a small, squirrely groove is carved into the side of Chernabog. The bigger takeaway is that Bucolic finally succeeds in jamming that drill into one of the weight-saving holes of its opponent's weapon. There's more flying paint and sparks, and the impact, above Chernabog's center of gravity, tilts it to the side, breaking one of its wheels' contact with the arena floor.
For all its speed, the good ship Bucolic doesn't seem to have much in the way of pushing power, and Chernabog, like a trophy-sized pike on a hook, is doing everything it can to make Gabe's job even harder, moving its jaw up and down and using its one wheel in contact with the ground to squirm back and forth. Slowly, arduously, its exhausts and tires both belching smoke, The HMS Bucolic shoves the big black devil towards one of the fatales.
Pay dirt. With a slight 'clang', the hazard clips Chernabog's bodywork, freeing it and separating the two bots. However, in an incredibly improbable sequence, Gabe's bot ends up perfectly positioned to have another go at its side. HFL's not about to be hooked twice, however. He manages to turn his bot just enough that it's not a clean skewer, and he doesn't lose much more paint. The Bucolic is pushing again, though, making an unholy amount of smoke and noise, sprockets whirring, chains clattering. HFL's not about taking a second trip to that hazard, though. Immediately flexing Chernabog's claw back and forth, he manages to free it, and Gabe himself isn't a robot, so it takes him about half a second to react. That's all the time that his ramshackle creation needs to semi-strand itself at a weird angle on Cernabog's wedge, and down comes the mighty claw.
It's not a clean bite, but finally, after two minutes of futility, it's something. Now Chernabog has the wheels-on-the-ground advantage and, slowly, arduously, it pushes Bucolic towards a wall. Gabe tries to free his bot, but it's not quite enough and, with about twenty seconds left on the pin timer, Chernabog begins to operate. It's delicate going. The patient is far from fully anesthetized, but with less than ten seconds remaining, HFL's patience finally pays off, and the claw strikes home, crumpling through The HMS Bucolic's negligibly armoured engine housing. Suddenly, there's a loud pop and metal shards ping against the lexan. A fire breaks out amid the ruins of the Bucolic's engine block, spreading across the floor with the gasoline seeping from its ruptured tank. Chernabog releases its prey, backs off and takes a victory bow, black wings spread demonically against a backdrop of flames.
Result: Chernabog wins by KO at 2:34
(8) IMMA SCATMAN
- End of the Line LLC.
: 0-1 ~vs.~
- Team British Robotics
Written by Hooray For Lexan
Both of these bots are currently sitting at 0-1. For all intents and purposes this is IMMA Scatman’s first actually, since it didn’t actually work against Labrys. Its loss was embarassing, but on the other hand it’s avoided taking damage, compared to Taranis, which had a lot of work to do after getting dismantled by Death’s Head Sarsparilla. So, it’s like 50-50 on either of these bots being functional.
Fortunately, both bots do start up. A little smoke comes out of Taranis’s exhaust pipe as its disc revs up, while Imma Scatman’s chainsaw remains stationary as it charges out. It’s the first across the middle of the arena, dodging the center nail, and Taranis has to back off to get up to full speed unmolested. Both machines jockey for position, and as Taranis tips sideways Imma Scatman gets under the raised side and shoves it into the wall. Taranis buzzes angrily, but it can’t make contact, and it’s pinned until IS has to let it go. However, Taranis has no interest in running away. As IS backs off it charges forward, making definitive contact with IS’s dustpan. Imma Scatman is tossed away, but doesn’t go over. It darts back in and tries to turn to hit the inner side of Taranis’s front wedgelets, but ends up just coming it at an angle where its own side pontoon goes between them and gets clipped by Taranis’s disc.
Taranis is barely spinning now, though, and Imma Scatman gets under it again and shoves it into one of the Fatales. IS also decides to smack its chainsaw against the floor for some reason, which makes a few sparks and messes up the nice black paint on the floor panel, but otherwise accomplishes nothing. Taranis is knocked free by the hazard, and has to run away, dodging away from another attack by IS as it spins back up. But once the disc is going it’s back on the attack, getting another solid hit on Imma Scatman’s wedge, and this time Imma Scatman gets flipped!
Imma Scatman is invertable, but it won’t have the range to use the chainsaw quite as effectively when inverted. But more to the point, that dustpan – now just a wedge because the bot’s upside-down – is NOT flush with the floor. Taranis’s hits have curled pieces up, and they’re holding the wedge off the ground! Imma Scatman retreats, ducking behind the center nail and starting the process of self-righting, but while it does so the chainsaw holds its wheels in the air, and Taranis comes in for another attack! Imma Scatman turns just in time to take the hit on its pontoon, but the sides of those were never flush with the ground, and it takes another big hit that throws it 540 degrees. This time the chainsaw’s in a position where it can easily self-right, though, and Taranis’s attempt at a followup hit is at low speed, and just pops it back a little in addition to stalling Taranis’s weapon. Imma Scatman takes it to the Fatales again – unfortunately it’s another white one – but in the meantime Taranis restarts its engine, and before long it manages to get another hit!
BANG! Imma Scatman goes flying upside-down again and lands on the center nail. It’s able to wiggle free, but as it tries to self-right Taranis attacks it from behind! It doesn’t look like that hit did much damage to IS’s body, but I saw something fly off – wait, there’s what happened, the chain’s come off of Imma Scatman’s saw and the saw frame is bent a bit.
Undeterred by the damage, Imma Scatman manages to angle in on Taranis again and get another pin, but again Taranis is able to spin its weapon up without it touching anything, and moves aggressively as soon as it’s released. Another big hit bends IS’s dustpan up further, and by now it’s having trouble getting under Taranis even when it comes in at a favorable angle and avoids the lowest parts of its forks. It gets Taranis’s disc to stop one more time, but it’s having a lot more trouble controlling the match, and gets tossed around a lot more and has serious chunks taken out of the dustpan before the match is over.
Damage: Taranis 5, IMMA Scatman 0
Aggression: Taranis 3, IMMA Scatman 2
Strategy: Taranis 2, IMMA Scatman 3
Your winner, by a 10-5 Judges’ Decision, is Taranis!
- Team Design Flaw
: 0-1 ~vs.~
- Aquatic Robotics
Written by The_Angry_Goat Hooray For Lexan
This is a real battle of low tech vs. high tech here. Hovercrap has counter-rotating ring spinners and a friggin’ air cushion powered by a miniature V8 engine, whereas Screamroller has… what looks to be a lawnmower engine spinning a big metal pipe with weights attached to it by bits of chain. Bit of trivia, both of these machines lost their first match by getting stuck upside-down.
Anyway, both bots spin up their weapons with a roar. Hovercrap’s props are immediately spinning, but it doesn’t really get going until its engine revs up enough to get that air cushion working, at which point it drifts out of its starting square and towards the arena center. Screamroller’s not the quickest either though, and it doesn’t seem interested in rushing in. The drum spinner carefully lines up, and comes in… WHAM.
The first hit’s actually kind of underwhelming. Shrapnel goes flying everywhere, and Hovercrap glides away at high speed, bouncing off the center nail and running into the wall before it can get back under control. It’s like watching a melty fight but in slow motion. Meanwhile Screamroller is vibrating a bit, and the whole robot is bouncing back and forth on those springy support arms, with it periodically throwing sparks off the arena floor.
Hovercrap manages to get back up to speed as Screamroller comes after it again, and rapidly spins ninety degrees to the right just as Screamroller charges in. This time there’s a much bigger hit, and both robots go flying! Hovercrap hits the wall again, briefly stopping its rings. Screamroller gets spun around and almost flipped over, and the drum grinds to a halt. All but one of the flails is gone, there’s a huge gash in the side of the drum, the support frame’s bent outward on the right side, the shaft’s come out of its mounts on the right side, and the chain’s derailed. Now that’s a lotta damage! But it looks like Hovercrap’s got some problems as well! It looks like part of the support structure for the top ring has gotten bent upward. It starts to spin up again, but uhh, only the lower ring is working. And that’s a problem, because the props don’t have enough thrust to counteract the torque of spinning up. Its chassis starts spinning out of control like a helicopter with no tail rotor.
So now we have one robot with no weapon, and one robot that’s, uhh, gone melty mode. Hovercrap is sort of drifting in Screamroller’s direction. Is it actually controlled translation? Who knows? Screamroller seems to think so, and it cautiously approaches, keeping the broken drum in front of it as a shield. Hovercrap tears off Screamroller’s right support wheel and even snaps the spring steel arm supporting it in half, but the impact sends it drifting out of control across the arena. Slowly… inevitably… into the corner, and a Fatale. This brings the hoverbot to an abrupt halt when it spins its own skirt into the Fatale’s tooth at high speed, tearing it wide open and leaving it stuck on the hazard getting slowly spun around. Uhh… normally this would be an unstuck, but I think it’s pretty obvious what’s going to happen after that: Hovercrap won’t hover.
Your winner, by knockout in 1:09, is Screamroller!
Refer to the opening post for rules and arena details. Let's get those RPs in and keep this thing moving!