Hello all and welcome! It's good to see you. Let's get you somewhere a bit cooler, shall we? It's a scorcher here in Dubai, but when is it not, really? Best get used to it, because we'll be setting up here for two weeks instead of the usual one. At least we get to stay at the ultra-swanky Burj Al Arab
. So...see that little helipad over there nearish the top? Yep. That's our arena. Hey, I didn't choose it! Our sponsor has deep pockets! Anyways, let's take a look at it.
by Floating Castle Robotics
60 ft diameter - 2827 square feet
LW-SHW Singles and Doubles
Helicopter landing pad
In tournaments that allow house robots, this arena has two, Genghis and Colonel Mordread, which patrol the ring around the central hazard. However, CBC3 will not be employing them this time around.
Hazards and Features:
- Immediate Ejection Device (1) - This enormous floor piston is located in the center of the arena and pops up beneath bots that drive over it, launching them high into the air and dealing moderate to heavy impact damage when they land in addition to potentially flipping them over.
- Fall Away Walls - The arena walls are five feet high, meaning that only the strongest flippers can manage to flip opponents over them for the first two minutes of the match. However, at the 2:00 mark, they fall away, making OOTAs tantalizingly easy for the remainder of the fight.
- Micro IEDs (32) - These small floor pistons ring the edges of the arena. For the first two minutes, they pop up under robots that drive over them, disrupting traction and dealing no to light damage. During the final minute, they pop up in advance of robots barreling over the edge, forcing drivers seeking an OOTA to employ at least some strategy. This hazard has been modified. There are now 64 Micro IEDs spaced about 2.5 feet apart.
- Danger Zone (optional - 2) - The two concentric rings that are occasionally home to the house robots can be turned into floor spinners for fights without house robots. These only deal no to light damage, but they can disrupt traction and spin robots away.
Achievement: Don't Need No Special Rules!
- Score an OOTA while the walls are still up.
The Fight Card
Below are the week's fights. RPs will be due on Saturday, February 9, at 11:59 PM EST. The RP limit is usually 400 words, but it will be 500 for this round. Remember to inform your opponent of configuration choices.
The Debilitator Division (A)
Terpsichora has a bye
Ayame vs Carnivore
The box is on, the lights are
, it's robot fighting time. Carnivore tries to coerce Ayame into slamming it's foot on the gas right off the bat. Conveniently enough, Ayame's initial strategy is to literally do just that. Flat 2-wheel wedge vs hinged wedgelets are 60-40, so let's flip a slightly-weighted coin here...
aaand Ayame gets under. Carnivore suddenly jolts forward to monstertruck off of Ayame, but she's too quick to the draw for that. Gulden's bot winds up getting some sick air, in any case, and flips over. Now he's spinning the wheels like he wants to get a certain weapon into play, but doesn't actually have the invertibility to do so. Oops.
Ayame sneaks underneath Carnivore's srimech arm in an attempt to prevent it from self-righting. Goldenfox's smug "heh, got em good" grin soon fades as he watches Carnivore self-right anyway. Welp.
At least, it would be "welp" if Carnivore hadn't self-righted immediately back onto the flipper, which fires again. This time, Carnivore lands on its feet. Wheels. He goes for another go at the wedge.. and pulls it off! They tussle for a bit, Ayame tries in vain to free herself from Carnivore's soylent-addled twig arms, but all she manages are brief moments where she's able to push the opponent backward. He almost
manages to get Ayame onto the IED, but not quite. At least it's enough for the judges to take note of, anyway.
Carnivore gets told "ey fuck off mate" by the ref and has to let Ayame go after 30 seconds. The match resets to neutral and the two bots UNGA BUNGA charge at each other. Ayame gets under, again. Carnivore goes over, again. Learning his lesson from the first attempt, Carnivore self-rights in time before Ayame can go for another flip. The back-and-forth goes on for the rest of the match, with neither really able to capitalize on the other's weaknesses. Ayame gets under slightly more often, but isn't really able to do all too much afterward. Vice-versa for Carnivore. Near the end of the match, Carnivore get flipped close-ish to the outer pistons a time or two, but it's nothing too spectacular.
DMG - 8-7 Ayame
AGG - 8-7 Ayame
CTL - 9-6, Carnivore
Carnivore wins by JD, 23-22.
Hobart 2 vs Evil Destroyer
IEDs? The only IEDs this fight needs is either weapon going against their opponents armor. Hobart 2 doesn't look to be playing this conservatively however and speeds over towards Evil Destroyer, only easing up when they get about a meter or so away. Now Hobart seems to be considering their direction of attack very carefully. Evil Destroyer makes adjustments to the turret, trying to prevent Hobart from lining up perfectly straight against it. However that seems to be exactly what Hobart is trying to do, and has the speed to keep themselves close enough to perfectly centered on that huge spinning bar. Here we go... BOOOM! The sheer spectacle of this hit defies description. Evil Destroyer and Hobart 2 are both launched violently away. Evil Destroyer is spared getting launched over the wall by virtue of having moved far enough away from it at the start of the match. As you can imagine, it takes a few moments for both bots to recover. Evil Destroyer even more so because it ended up landing more or less sideways. Not to say that it's all sunshine and daisies for Hobart. There seems to be a worrying amount of smoke issuing from the chassis, but it still seems to be moving okay, and the weapon is still working. A little bit of extra effort allows Evil Destroyer to get back on its base, but it seems that extra couple of seconds was enough to give Hobart 2 a chance to charge in looking to land a killing blow! BOOM! A big chuck of Evil Destroyer's side is gone. There's the quick and brutal end to the fight we expected would come one way or the other.
Hobart 2 wins by KO in 0:57
Beast From The West II vs Sleipnir
The match begins with BftW raising it's weapon while Sleipnir immediately rushes, A few seconds later Sleipnir gets its forks under his opponent and starts to push it to the wall, TBR lowers it's weapon arm to hit the Sleipnir's top but can't quite reach it.
A few other seconds later they reach the wall and one of the micro IEDs frees BftW, it escapes and then goes for an attack but Sleipnir successfully angles-in and gets under again. He pushes it to the central IED but didn't reach it as one of the floor spinners separated the two.
The next encounter is the same story but this time Sleipnir's driver adjusted for the floor spinners, thus Team Team British Robotics's machine got thrown up, it landed the right way up though.
They both charge at each other and now TBR's bot finally avoided getting angled-in, one of Sleipnir's forks got flicked up. Seen this Sleipnir reverses of that wedge and goes around it's opponent and push it from behind, or at least he tried, the flank didn't work at all and BftW catches it from the side, flipping it like a pancake.
Remember how i said that Sleipnir angled-in and successfully pushed it's opponent to the central IED? well that happened again like 10 seconds after it got flipped like a pancake. BftW landed upside down this time and before it could self-right Sleipnir was already pushing it to the wall. The micro IEDs are back again saving the day, as they made Team TBR's entry do a roll over it's opponent, allowing it's weapon to hit Sleipnir's top (well technically bottom) panel, somehow.
The brick get's away from the wall before it's opponent can turn around, so naturally they charge at each other again. Beast From The West gets under and flicks the same fork up again, Sleipnir backs off and goes again, this time it does get it's forks under.
He pushes BftW to the big IED but fail to stop so both robots get thrown into the sky. While they where airborne TBR pulls of a spectacular move and uses it's weapon to pop one of Sleipnir's tires, again this happened when they where IN THE AIR. Naturally this causes to both bot to get thrown away from each other. While we where too focused trying to understand whatever just happened we reached the 2 minute mark and the walls had fallen. They yet again go at each other, BftW get under and flicks up the other fork a few time until he reaches it's opponent body, hitting and then flipping it. Sleipnir goes runs far away to turn around safelly and then goes at TBR again. Sleipnir's forks are the ones that wins the wedge war so naturally he starts pushing to where the walls where. This time he managed to control the pushing action well enough to avoid completely the micro IEDs, and you know what that means.
Your winner, by OOTA in 2:17, is Sleipnir!
Elrathia Division (B)
Tidal Wave 2 has a bye
Blood Eagle vs Twin Typhoons
The match begins and both Blood Eagle and the two-part cluster of Twin Typhoons start up and head out of their squares. The twins are spaced apart, but both move on the same side around the central hazards. Blood Eagle takes the opposite path around the center and quickly covers ground to catch up to the noticeably slower clusterbot. TT separate themselves some more to prevent Blood Eagle from potentially one-shotting them both in one hit. However, it proves to be mainly a futile effort for Team Cool Story Brobotics-as Blood Eagle eagerly tears into one of them and just sprays parts across the vast arena.
The surviving Twin aggressively maneuvers to pursue Blood Eagle after it was knocked back some by the impact. Blood Eagle quickly recovers, however-with only some damage to one of its wheels. It doesn’t seem to affect its mobility, however, and Blood Eagle spins back up and heads back towards the remaining Twin. It keeps near the center of the arena and attempts to lure in Blood Eagle onto the outer ring of the Danger Zone-it might be trying to lure him into the main IED, but TT just gets spun away from the outer ring. And, BE isn’t buying it-continuing to drive around the outer ring.
TT can’t keep up with this forever and Blood Eagle catches up to it and angles in for another hit-which sends both bots flying apart from each other in a more spectacular impact than with the first half of Twin Typhoons. TT gets thrown against the outer wall, then gets popped by a mini-IED for good measure. Meanwhile, Blood Eagle gets sent onto the inner ring and close to the main IED, but not close enough to actually set it off. It then gets flung off of the counter-rotating rings and…neither bot appears to be moving. Blood Eagle’s right wheel appears disabled, but the weapon spins back up and it starts moving in arcs with the gyro of its blade. The remaining Twin-is a smoking heap. And we have the countout.
Blood Eagle wins via KO in 1:29!
Eudial III vs Tiny Torque
Tiny Torque is off like a shot, zooming straight across the arena at – wait a minute, straight across the arena? That’s dangerous! Tiny Torque starts to swerve away from the central IED, but as it hits the floor spinners at top speed it gets yanked sideways and just clips the hazard. The piston sends it tumbling across the arena, and fortunately it lands the right way up. But still, that’s an embarrassing moment.
Eudial, meanwhile, has had plenty of time to get its bar up to full speed, although with the bots starting almost sixty feet apart a box rush wouldn’t have done that much anyway. It heads for Tiny Torque, and Tiny Torque swerves away again, trying to get around... I think the side. But Eudial just turns the other direction and rams into it in reverse... and holy moly what a hit! Sparks fly and Tiny Torque gets tossed like a frisbee, going a good two or three feet in the air. Eudial skids away, wobbling a bit, and there’s a few more sparks putting some inaugural scrapes in the paint on the arena floor.
Tiny Torque is back on the attack, but again tries to go for the rear of Eudial, and buys Eudial a couple extra seconds to spin back up before getting launched away again. It looks like the anti-monstertrucking thingy on the top of its plow’s pretty torn up. It goes after the front of Eudial this time, and gets spun away again with a bend in one of its front forks, but this hit sends Eudial into the wall. Tiny Torque’s able to catch it before it gets back up to speed. It actually rides up Eudial’s back wedge, but it still muscles it into the wall and has it pinned for a few seconds before Eudial manages to wriggle free.
Eudial gets its blade going again, but it doesn’t look like it managed to reach full speed this time before getting smacked. Tiny Torque tries going for the side – by process of elimination apparently – but because Eudial can turn in either direction to face it this doesn’t work out too well, and Eudial gets a couple more full-speed hits in before getting stopped again. Tiny Torque finally gets under Eudial’s side skirts, and starts pushing it toward the IED at very high speed. This is dangerous, Eudial’s not invertable!
Eudial spins away sideways at the last second, but it’s just got too much momentum from that shove. On the other hand, with the resistance suddenly taken away Tiny Torque shoots forward, and both bots end up on the IED. Both get sent flying and wind up inverted. Eudial crashes down hard, bending one of the horns on the cover over its weapon motor. It immediately starts flailing around, skirts and wedgelets flapping everywhere. Tiny Torque rams it a couple times but pretty much just bounces it away, and about when the Ref starts talking about controlled movement Eudial finally makes it back upright.
TT attacks again, but it’s still inverted! Eudial nudges it aside once, then gets up to top speed and Frisbees it again, slamming it into the wall a good three feet up! After that knock TT wisely returns to the IED and takes a third ride, then a fourth, and finally gets back on its wheels.
Not long after this the walls fall away. Tiny Torque manages to send Eudial skidding out-of-control toward the edge, and it bounces off a mini-IED. Ouch, that’s gotta put some serious stress on Eudial’s weapon. It looks like it may be stopped, and Tiny Torque shoves it to the edge again! The bollards come up again, though, and... actually, Eudial’s skirts make it slightly too wide to fit between them, and the bar is definitely too wide! That’s a free fifteen second pin for Tiny Torque, though. Eudial gets away, and delivers a couple more nasty hits... and there’s another attack to the rear! Tiny Torque gets launched towards oblivion, and hits the mini-IEDs while still airborne! It does a kind of weird pirouette and ends up on its side, leaning against the pillar! This is a precarious situation! TT’s driver’s on the other side of the arena, and I’m not sure he can see which way it’s leaning. If he hits the throttle forward because he doesn’t realize he’s inverted, that’ll shoot it towards the edge, and TT’s drivetrain’s fast enough that there might not be time to correct that mistake.
...and it looks like Tiny Torque’s decided to do nothing at all, and just sit there on the brink of oblivion, because there’s fifteen seconds left in the fight anyway. Not sure about that, this has been a close match and not taking the risk and showing aggression in the final moments could sway the judges one way or the other. But Tiny Torque may think they’ve done enough to win it, and – EUDIAL, NO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IT’S THE BOOP OF DEATH! Tiny Torque panics and hits the throttle, luckily in the right direction, but as it comes down on its wheels it finally gives Eudial a shot at something besides the wedge! That’s a huge hit! Two wheels go flying across the arena, and Eudial ricochets into the mini-IEDs again. And that’s time! It’s up to the judges now!
Damage: Eudial III 11, Tiny Torque 4
Aggression: Eudial III 6, Tiny Torque 9
Control: Eudial III 8, Tiny Torque 7
Your winner, by a 25-20 Judges’ Decision, is Eudial III!
Storm Worm vs Phobos Anomaly
Both bots start this fight aggressively, Storm Worm barreling around the central hazards on a beeline for the clusterbot, which has lined up with the hammer leading. Drew hesitates for only a split second – he’d prefer to prioritize the clamp, but he’s not about to let its twin just get a free shot, especially when he could flip it. As they meet head to head, the first Phobos twin swings. Popping itself upwards from the force of the impact and crumpling the front of Storm Worm’s central hammer blocker. For its troubles, it gets absolutely chucked, tumbling backwards a considerable distance.
And that was Josh’s plan all along. The saw twin has slipped around the side while Storm Worm was dealing with its other half and is attempting to latch on and saw in. Drew tries to steer away, and his bot’s speed advantage allows him to get partway – it’s an uneven grip and he intermittently has three wheels on the ground instead of two – but the pesky saw bot is gripping and sawing and there are sparks! Lots of them.
The hammer bot, having recovered, also barrels in, unleashing a second blow but missing. Storm Worm is not making this easy. It has enough traction that not only is it threatening to break free, but it’s kind of wiggling the saw bot towards the IED.
WHAM! A hammer blow strikes true and one of Storm Worm’s blockers bites it, having done its job and protected the chassis from any real damage. Meanwhile, a clinical-looking slice has been put into the other side blocker. Drew’s mashing the controller for his bot’s side arms, and they manage to displace the saw from the neat little cut it was making, but they just can’t seem to overpower Phobos Anomaly’s clamp.
WHACK! Another hammer blow. Storm Worm escapes, that same side shield having protected its chassis once again. That thing’s knackered to pieces, though. It won’t hold back a third.
Seeing that he’s being swarmed while clamped, Drew makes a point of chasing down the saw bot, but takes a brutal shot from the hammer for his troubles. The head pierces not only the battered, now-useless shield, it digs a bit into Storm Worm’s chassis as well. Looks like it didn’t hit anything vital, though. The good news, however, is that he’s lined up that saw bot and he…misses his flip.
Wait, no! he charges in while his flipper is still up, using his lifting arms to dig beneath what he views as the more dangerous of the twins and…they’re wedge-locked. Josh presses too. The saw only comes partway down, stuck against the underside of the flipper at a near-vertical, sawing away and throwing up lots of sparks. Immediately, the Alpha Robotics machine pushes its own front up with its side arms, saw still clamped on, and starts edging the trapped saw bot towards the IED. It’s fairly effective, but it also allows the hammer bot to close in and get a free shot on that battered shield that it’s been focusing on. Drew tries to turn to use its partner as a meat shield, but he’s a lot slower with the weight of it on his front and isn’t quite able to get there on time.
Any progress towards the hazard halted, he focuses on keeping his prey in the line of fire from its partner. Meanwhile, the saw Baron just keeps on doing its thing until it inevitably slices right through the bottom of the flipper, releasing its hold and now attempting to waggle free. With the referee starting to prod about the possibility of an unstick, Drew fires his bot’s flipper, and Josh just rams Storm Worm with the other baron. Down comes its partner, squirting away to the side. Down comes the hammer, messing up Storm Worm’s front some more, and up up up goes the little hammer bot as it eats another flip.
The saw is right back around the side and back at it. The walls fall away. Dramatic ‘stakes-raising’ music plays. Storm Worm, with two wheels off the ground, however, isn’t really able to bully Phobos Anomaly like he wants to. He activates the flipper. The arms. The other arms. It’s all for naught. That little bastard is latched on like a lamprey, throwing up a ridiculous number of sparks and putting another slice into the top guard of its opponent.
SMACK! Hammer time! That seems to have crumpled the remains of that hammer shield into Storm Worm’s rear wheel on that side, since it’s putting up less of a struggle. To see something so proud, mighty, and – yes – beautiful at the mercy of these tiny demons is an awful thing to behold, like piranhas swarming a great Jaguar that's fallen into the water.
CRUNCH! There’s another hit, right in the same spot. A wispy, ominous stream of white smoke issues from the hole. The saw makes it to the chassis and begins putting a slice into it, but the pin timer is up, Josh is forced to call off the Barons of Hell, and Storm Worm limps away, still faster, even with a jammed wheel.
With the walls down, he decides to just go for it. Lining straight up on the hammer bot, which Josh is gladly dangling as bait, and barreling into it. It takes its third mighty flip, somersaulting through the air, but lands just short of the mini IEDs. Storm Worm is there for a follow-up, though. The hammer comes down yet again and leaves a sizable dent in the Alpha Robotics machine’s plow, but a fourth flip does it. That pesky hammer bot sails clear of the edge and into the netting.
The only drawback is the completely free shot that the saw gets at Storm Worm’s rear. The trickle of smoke has turned into a stream. Storm Worm is slowing. The saw bot is sawing. With about ten seconds left, Drew tries to turn his bot around and back the little bastard into the mini IEDs to pop it loose, but his bot grinds to a halt. The buzzer goes off just as the referee is asking him o show movement, so we’re going to the judges.
Aggression: 9-6 Storm Worm
Damage: 9-6 Phobos Anomaly
Strategy: 9-6 Phobos Anomaly
Result: Phobos Anomaly wins a 24-21 judges’ decision
Nick's Fuzzy Rules Division (C)
The Thieving Magpie has a bye
Shade Fist vs Piranha Plant
Shade Fist spins up and heads out pretty quickly, Plant taking a more leisurely approach out of the gate. Shade Fist attempts a flank, with Noah spinning the turret, its edge catching and riding up Shade Fist's wedgelets, clipping the edge of the drum and popping the plant up into the air slightly, it landing a little ways away. Badnik capitalises, trying to push in, though the strange domed chassis trumps the wedgelets, Badnik backing off to avoid the returning turret. After a bit more jostling, Shade Fist's wedge slips under the chassis, giving it a solid WHACK! Plant's loose chassis rattles about as it soars once more, though landing somewhat cleanly a second time. Badnik makes another shot, popping it up, and it seems the third time's the charm, with Plant landing on its side. Shade Fist works on pushing Plant along as it spins, trying to self-right as sparks fly from the rim of its base, as the walls drop down. The IED pops up, catching Plant, but giving Shade Fist enough resistance to get a solid strike in, launching Plant higher than its namesake's recovery, it landing on the far side of the IEDs and toppling off.
Your winner, by OotA in 2:11, is Shade Fist!
Cuddle Time! vs The Gnasher
Both bots are off and running pretty quickly. Cuddle Time’s got its scoopey front forks on, let’s see how those do at deflecting Gnasher’s eggbeater. The bots circle each other for a bit, Gnasher trying to get to the side of Cuddle Time, but CT shoves the forks under it, and it looks like they work pretty well! Sparks fly, but Cuddle Time doesn’t, and Gnasher gets bounced backward a foot or so. It veers away and comes in for another attack, but again it’s not getting anything but glancing blows.
After a few more attempts at this, Cuddle Time is able to keep on Gnasher enough that it brings the beater to a near standstill, and the clamp whips down, bringing it to a halt. It tries to lift Gnasher into the air, but first Gnasher’s weapon pod just pivots upward, and then as that runs out of travel room... Cuddle Time flops forward. Long-ass forks + really short outrigger plate + awkward opponent = sadness. CT has to lower its lifter a bit, but that means it can’t really get Gnasher’s wheels off the ground, and its grip isn’t amazing. The bots struggle for a while, with Cuddle Time trying to take Gnasher to wall but Gnasher constantly dragging and pushing it off course.
Thank God there’s a pin limit. Anyway, once Gnasher is released it quickly gets back up to speed and continues the attack. It’s driving more aggressively, really trying to get past Cuddle Time’s forks, but exposes its own side in the process. Cuddle Time gets under it and tries to clamp it, but it looked like it just bit down on the wheels, and Gnasher’s able to get free. And it rapidly pivots around and catches the side of CT’s fork! There’s the first real hit of the match, and Cuddle Time goes up onto its back! It speeds away though, only taking a glancing hit on the back wedge, and is able to self-right quite quickly with its weaponry.
And the excitement continues as... no, I can’t do this anymore. This fight is basically an awkward stalemate. Cuddle Time manages to get one more grab on Gnasher and almost gets it near the general vicinity of approaching the Central IED. Gnasher, for its part, manages to flip CT over again and actually get another solid hit on it before it can self-right because it didn’t drop the clamp quickly enough, but all it manages to do is tear off one of those yellow anti-stranding spikes that really don’t even do anything because Cuddle Time’s ass-wedge is already much wider than its chassis. Other than that, it’s basically just a battle of feeble force meets unstable object.
Damage: Cuddle Time 9, Gnasher 6
Aggression: Cuddle Time 6, Gnasher 9
Control: Cuddle Time 10, Gnasher 5
Your winner, by a 25-20 Judges’ Decision, is Cuddle Time!
...but let’s face it, the real loser is the audience.
Killjoy II vs Harrowdown Hill
The battle begins with both bots tracking each other down like heat-seeking missiles, though Killjoy's able to get there first. However, to try and get around HH's wedge, Noisey's elected to press his saw arm into the ground behind him to push the wheel pods into the floor. It's a sound strategy, but in so doing he's raising his wheels slightly off the ground, making an already slightly squirrelly machine that bit harder to control. It's the opening Syl needs, and they take the chance to get in on the sides and deliver a nice hit to the underside of the left wheel pod. Killjoy bounces towards the central IED, with HH in hot pursuit, and it's not able to regain control before HH gets another hit in. This time it's a lot less clean of a hit, and Killjoy is able to self-right and reset before Harrowdown can get in another hit. Realizing that pressing the pods didn't work, Noisey changes tactics, instead facing the spinner head-on and daring Syl to come at him, br- sis- ... sib? We'll go with sib for that one. In any event, they're only too happy to oblige, and HH ploughs straight into Killjoy. This time, the big grey sawbot gets under HH's forks, and Syl has to desperately try and J-hook off the front surface as the lifter comes up. It works - ish. HH is in a very awkward position now, and Noisey's ready to pounce. He charges again and once again gets under Syl's wedge, and this time he brings the saw down whilst bringing up the lifter. The drum grinds against the side pods of the enemy machine, but Harrowdown's top armour isn't providing much resistance to Killjoy's saw as it's paraded around the arena. Finally, the refs force the two apart. HH has sustained an enormous gash in its top armour, and anything that got nicked by the saw probably wasn't helped by it being bounced around by one of the mini-IEDs, but it's still functioning. Aside from some sparks, Killjoy seems none the worse for wear. If this comes down to damage, Harrowdown's very much on the back foot. The two-minute buzzer sounds and the walls drop, with Killjoy going all in on the attack, but once again Noisey's trying to press his wedge with his saw! It didn't work last time, and it won't work this time, and Harrowdown Hill is once again able to get a good, clean bite onto the wheel pods. Syl's going for broke now, pushing and shoving at the side of Killjoy, flicking it with the drum as Noisey tries to regain control before Killjoy gets shoved over the edge. In desperation, Noisey tries to swing the saw arm out to catch on the mini-IED, and it does - throwing up some pretty sparks - but a strike to the weapon arm itself by Harrowdown lifts it up and over the barrier. Killjoy weebles, wobbles, and then falls down, and Syl can thank their lucky stars for that. This was a very
narrow escape for them.
Winner: Harrowdown Hill, KO by OOTA, 02:39
Magnolia Pico Division (A)
Harpy has a bye
Manglerfish vs Vortex 3
The battle kicks off, Vortex's screw drive screaming like a dyspeptic goat as it leaves shredded rubber all over the nice, clean floor. I've got to clean that, dickhead. Anyway, the two robots are tear-arsing across the arena to get up in each other's faces, but just as Vortex gets close it strafes to one side, leaving more mess for me to clear up. HFL has a solution to that devious strategy, though. It's called "predicting that the person with the strafe drive setup is gonna try to strafe". Manglerfish turns and easily slides its forks under Vortex's wedge. Suddenly, Vortex starts bouncing around like a mad thing! Its screws aren't making contact with the ground properly, so it's juddering like mad as it tries to get away. Manglerfish is having none of it, and begins to chow down on the screw cover of Vortex. After a few seconds of tussling - not helped by Vortex's hyperactive drive throwing the saw out of true a couple of times - HFL finally cuts through and starts slicing into Vortex's left-hand screw. Lacking any other options, Vortex fires up its lifter and tries to lift the saw off the screw! It even sort of works, but that screw's taken some nasty damage and half the tread's fallen off. It's seriously impeded Vortex's drive, and now Manglerfish is able to move in for the kill. A few more saw pins later and it's all over. Something important and electrical inside Vortex 3 gives up the ghost and we have a very, very clear winner. It's the bot that isn't on fire.
Winner: Manglerfish, KO by Lingchi, 01:48
Jackal vs JEVIL
Both come screaming out of the blocks, with no unorthodox strategies at play. They meet near the IED, and JEVIL immediately goes in for a hit. This does not go according to plan however, as Jackal raises it's top bar to try and block the thwack and then grab a hold of the body. Alex then rams JEVIL into the wall.
This happens a few times, however occasionally JEVIL manages to get a hook on the ladder, and manages to slightly pull Jackal before he manages to get out.
After a minute or so of this, JEVIL switches to horizontal thwacking, for some reason. This just results in Jackal bricking the shit out of it, stopping him and then pushing him into the wall. Again.
Tri quickly realises this isn't working, and tries option number 3: monster-trucking. This also results in the ladder-bar-thing coming up and completely blocking it, and yet again pushing him into the wall.
By this point, time is running out
, and tries to hook round the side, and actually manages to do that. However, the lack of torque means that doesn't really do much, aaaaand the bell rings.
Damage: Jackal 7, Jevil 8
Aggression: Jackal 7, Jevil 8
Control: Jackal 12, Jevil 3
Your winner, by a 26-19 Judges’ Decision, is Jackal!
Carbonemys vs Lethal Carriageway Mk. 3
At the start of the match Carbonemys moves forward and stops right in front of the floor spinners while on the other side of the arena Lethal Carriageway comes out at full throttle and quickly goes around the spinners and angles-in towards the turtle, said turtle turns in place and immediately hits the top of LC.
From looking at it's face it can be clearly seen that Team TBR's captain is surprised that it's opponent can in fact turn.
Anyways during that nonsense LC did get it's wedge under Carbo and starts pushing it towards the red button, it struggles to keep Carbo on it's wedge because of the spinner and it gets hit by the hammer again but it gets to the IED and up the turtle goes.
At the same time it can be heard from the control booth a crew member from team TBR shout WATCH OUT FOR THE HOUSE ROBOTS and LC immediately backs away and one of Da m0nStaW0ks's crew members can be seen staring at team TBR with a very confused face.
After all of that nonsense hammerboi falls the right way up and goes back to the frontier between the regular floor and the spiny floor. LC goes at it again, Carbo fires it's hammer and misses horribly, giving a chance to the brick to get under and push it, only for Carbonemys to monstertruck it.
TBR makes a 180° turn and charges again before it's opposition can do it's turn so now it can more easily push it to the IED reversing the fuck out of there immediately after because reasons.
This time the turtle falls the wrong side up, Lethal Carriageway charges at it lifting it's forks up BUT Carbonemys self rights before LC reaches it and now they are facing each other. Carbo is the one that wins this wedge war and LC gets high centered so turtle boi has no problem pushing it while comboing it with it's hammer, there goes a front wheel. A few hits later the other front wheel gets destroyed and the power of that particular blow shaked it enough for his rear wheels to touch the ground, letting it escape.
After that they go back to their usual no too interesting routine of Lethal Carriageway ramming Carbonemys while getting consistently hit by the hammer, sometimes succeeding while other times getting monstertrucked, for a minute or so. Then LC manages to get turtlebot thrown by then big IED and it landed the wrong way up again. TBR lifts it's forks again and this time it did reach its opponent before it could self right. He proceeds to push it around the arena for a few moments and then the time runs out.
Aggression: Carbonemys: 7 - Lethal Carriageway Mk. 3: 8
Damage: Carbonemys: 13 - Lethal Carriageway Mk. 3: 2
Strategy: Carbonemys: 11 - Lethal Carriageway Mk. 3: 4
Your winner, by a 31-14 Judges’ Decision, is Carbonemys!
Frogbot 2000 Division (B)
Dragonfist has a bye
Neophyte Redglare vs Marksman
Marksman gets the first flip in by going in between the two wedgelets on the front of NR. NR self rights slowly, but gets back up. Neophyte then picks it up and carries it across the arena to a mini IED. Now repeat the last sentence read and then take out the word mini. It seems that while occasionally using the flipper to jump off, Marksman can't get anything going when NR is always underneath pushing it around. It's wheels aren't touching the floor when it's being lifted from the front. It gets another couple flips in, but there isn't much more it can do. It does a pretty good job of keeping away from the fallen walls.
Aggression: 10-5 Neophyte Redglare
Damage: 8-7 Neophyte Redglare
Strategy: 10-5 Neophyte Redglare
Your winner by 28-17 decision is Neophyte Redglare!
Scion vs Psychosis
Psychosis kind of tips its hand by raising its arm up during the twitch test, but that also means it has time to get its bar spun up by the time Scion gets across the arena, which otherwise is no guarantee even on Vertigo. That thing is fast! It tries to circle around to Psychois’s side, which isn’t particularly effective since Pyschosis has a quick drivetrain. It ends up getting under it at an angle, and Psychosis brings the weapon down, trying to get it over the top of Scion’s wedge. However, it doesn’t have the reach to pull it off, and just glances harmlessly off the upper section, in addition to spinning itself around and making its blade hit the floor. Now it has to raise it and spin back up, and in the meantime Scion gets under it at an angle and rams it into the wall. The hit isn’t blade-first, but the force is still enough to bounce Psychosis off pretty hard and make it land on its side, and there’s some more blade-to-floor contact.
Anyway, after a few more inconsequential hits that make it clear that Psychosis doesn’t actually have the ability to reach over Scion’s plow, at least not enough to actually hit its chassis, it gets a hit at an angle... which is significant because Scion’s plow is only actually sturdy in the middle. A direct hit to the sides? Ouch. Psychosis tears a massive gash through the side of the plow and is only really stopped by the thicker center section. It also launches itself away, and thanks to gyroscopic shenanigans and the high center of gravity it has with that weapon spinning it ends up on its side. It lowers the lifter and flops onto its back, then raises it again to try to self-right, but in the meantime Scion scoops it up and gives it a powerful shove – oh, into the central IED!
Psychosis gets sent flying, and comes down right on top of the piston before tumbling off. It self-right successfully, using the spinner and lifter functions in synergy, and drives off, but it looks like the top cover on the right side has partially come loose.
The fight keeps going, and basically devolves into Scion knocking Psychosis around the arena. It’s got a very high CG with the weapon raised, as mentioned, and if it gets wedged the blade tilts and gyroscopic forces can cause awkwardness. On the other hand, with both bots tilting and moving and Psychosis moving its weapon arm around, it’s extremely unpredictable for both drivers and Psychosis is able to get some solid hits. The left outside red part of Scion’s plow gets ripped off entirely, and at one point it makes the mistake of reversing at the wrong time and brings the thwack head down into Psychosis’s blade, which tears the hammer head off and twists the arm.
Psychosis, however, gets pushed into the IED again, and takes another huge flip. It lands hard on the weapon arm, and while it bounces back onto its wheels it looks like the blade is now stuck in a partially-raised position. Scion takes advantage of this: Psychosis now can’t turn without suffering from severe gyroscopic forces, and Scion makes it faceplant, then gets under its side and slams it into the wall again. Psychosis gets away and spins back up, but the walls fall away.
Scion comes in at an angle again, but Psychosis still manages to get some solid contact, tossing itself away like a leaf. It tosses itself on its side, where it’s propped due to the stuck lifter arm. The weapon twitches as it tries to free itself, but it doesn’t look like it can pull it off! Can Scion take advantage? It doesn’t look like it can! Scion is stuck going in circles! It looks like the right side of the plow finally got bent back into the wheel! It’s still crabbing its way across the arena though, and Psychosis isn’t moving! Some smoke comes out of the weapon arm! Five... four... three... two... one... it’s over!
Your winner, by knockout in 2:33, is Scion!
I Suck At Names vs Jawsome
Jawsome's plan goes a bit off the rails from the get-go since it turns out that 5 speed isn't quite fast enough to traverse the entire length of the arena before ISAN has the weapon up to full speed. Undaunted, Jawsome charges towards the spinner anyway, not roaring though. Contrary to what Jaws: The Revenge would try to make you believe sharks don't roar. The dome head absorbs the hit decently well, though now it has a dent like a blowhole. Jawsome is now Dolphintastic I suppose. The impact separates them enough so that ISAN is able to get the weapon pointed back in Jawsome's direction before Jawsome can get back in. Jawsome at least doesn't have to worry about the dome taking much in the way of damage when it charges into ISAD, but he doesn't seem able to find a good opening to clamp down on him and take control of the fight. Jawsome gets a bit of a breakthrough by forcing ISAD over an IED that throws the spinner off balance, but it doesn't cause much physical damage to it. It at least allows Jawsome to smother it against the wall for a little bit, but trying to clamp ISAD down still isn't going very well. Some shoving puts ISAD over another IED, but that also allows ISAD to get out from between Jawsome and the wall. Then we're back to ISAD knocking away at the nigh-invulnerable dome of Jawsome as the timer steadily ticks away. There's no real thought of trying to get ISAD to the center of the arena. Jawsome just can't get good enough control over the spinner at any point to attempt it. By the time the fight is over, the dome looks like someone's been throwing a lot of rocks at it, with dents scattered all over the front of it.
Aggression: 12-3 Jawsome
Damage: 13-2 I Suck At Names
Strategy: 9-6 I Suck At Names
I Suck At Names wins 25-20
Black Dog Division (C)
Chronic Jobber has a bye
Diablo Genesis III vs Axe N' Kill
Diablo goes out of the gate quick, Axe N' Kill taking a slower approach. Diablo hits AnK with its flipper quickly, tanking one strike from the axe before the flipper pops open, tipping AnK over onto its back. AnK retracts its axe, tipping up enough to get a wheel on the ground, wobbling about a bit whilst Diablo nudges it a little, managing to get that last wheel off the ground. AnK kind of wibbles a little, before it gets counted out.
Diablo Genesis III wins by KO in 0:34.
NKC vs Super Youkai Warhead
Noah has the drive advantage yet has less torque. Good thing that doesn't matter! Oh wait.
He also says to go for any part of NKC that isn't on the ground. The clamping mechanism isn't on the ground, so he goes for that. JUST KIDDING. I assume he means go straight at NKC, who responds in like fashion. We get a deadlock that may or may not have been predictable. Coolio. Dylan wants to saw off one of the tracks on Super Youkai Warhead, but you see there is this thing called a wedge in the way, and the saw can't reach far enough to get over it. Even if it could, SYW has the clamp array blocking the saw anyway. So Dylan settles for just sawing that. SYW makes this a bit hard since Noah's moving the array, so the saw can't get the best purchase. Hey, it's not the best damage, but it's something. Perhaps the more pressing issue for SYW is that, despite the rather shaky hold, NKC actually has SYW upended slightly, and is able to keep with him. Thus, NKC is able to kinda control where he can take SYW, but SYW makes that just a little too hard with the fact that his tracks are on the floor. Dylan hasn't sliced anything off yet, so I guess he's not going to the IED yet. Plus, the house robots would make that a daunting task in itself. I mean, if they were being used in the fight, I guess. Aight. Well eventually SYW gets free and we're back to square one. They lock horns again like bull moose. Had to throw something vaguely Canadian in there. Ooh, poutine! *nom nom nom* That hit the spot. Back to the match. NKC still seems to have the upper hand with the pushing power and it's showing as SYW cannot gain control of the situation, and is being corralled around the arena, though NKC isn't having as much fun as he wants as SYW continues to have the end of the treads on the ground and is throwing NKC off-course. One of the wedges on SYW is being slowly sawed, but sawing a wedge like that is pretty much superficial damage at best. It still counts in a judges' decision, I reckon. Okay, NKC lets him go. SYW moves back in. Another deadlock. NKC can't clamp properly this time. SYW escapes. We having fun yet? The audience look on in boredom as NKC continues to have only a slight advantage in the match, which SYW could overturn at any moment, if he manages to get all the way underneath NKC. He doesn't. Deadlock. NKC gets the lifter under for the third time. SYW dodges before the clamp comes. Oh, we're 2 minutes in. Walls fall. Are we going to have a Ring Out? Dylan pours the pressure on and SYW... oh. He actually got all the way under. Whoops, NKC backed off before SYW could fully clamp him. We get another collision and now NKC is under SYW enough to clamp and saw again. But yeah, the same problem of SYW's tracks still being on the ground makes it hard for NKC to steer him. Nonetheless NKC tries to get him near the arena edge, but a quick swing from SYW nearly throws NKC onto the mini-IEDs! Ooh. That was close. NKC tries to swing him back around, but SYW is having none of it and continues to hold NKC off until the buzzer finally goes off. That wedge on SYW looks rather sliced up, but I'm sure Noah has like 100 replacements for it. Judges?
Aggression: 9-6 NKC
Damage: 10-5 NKC
Strategy: 8-7 NKC
NKC wins by a 27-18 judges' decision.
Harbinger vs Pizza That Eats You
Alright, next up we have perennial fav – oh wait, people don’t know how to seed and they ranked it in the middle of the pack!? – anyways, Harbinger vs a slice of pizza, of the carnivorous variety, apparently. No, vegans, I don’t mean that it has meat. I mean that it’s Pizza that Eats You. Well, this match begins with Harbinger jetting out of its starting square. I mean, it’s a fast bot. It rockets around the central hazard zone, because Josh knows that DIRECT INTERVENTION IS NECESSARY, and…
Well, let’s pause for a moment and appreciate the strategic brilliance of Pizza that Eats You. Spinning up its weapon, it decides not to use the wall as a back stop to cut off potential outflanking maneuvers. I mean, I guess I can see why. Those mini-IEDs could disrupt its weapon. That must mean it’s heading for the central hazards, which it’ll cannily use in the same manner. Hmm, nope. Doesn’t seem to be doing that. At least the fact that the blisteringly quick Harbinger was forced to divert around the hazards allows it to get yup to speed before DIRECT INTERVENTION IS… not necessary?
With all the speed of your average rave, Harbinger just jets right on past Pizza that Eats You as the cumbersome spinner attempts to turn. Josh just keeps that joystick mashed and keeps circling and, realizing that “teleports behind u” is about to happen forreals, Tcrrr tries to charge in at his opponent. Lolnope.
Harbinger gets right in behind, which is just where Josh likes it, and with its shallow-as-a-popstar’s-Grammy-speech plow, manages to lift the big spinner’s wheels off of the ground. Aaaaaaannnnnd into the spinners we go. Harbinger loses control for a split second before reestablishing it. The Pizza gets tossed. Someone in the ground catches a figurative flying pepperoni. Anyways, Tcrrr quickly gets right back into open space, trying to spin up, but Harbinger has 'fuk u m8' levels of speed, so Josh actually…no wait, he circles again, generously allowing pizza to start death humming.
Doesn’t matter. More circling, another attack attempt. A miss. A scoop. Another trip to the hazard. Does this pizza have funky chicken on it? Anyways, Harbinger catches it once again and just tanks a half-powered hit on its plow. Splat into the walls goes Pizza that Eats You. One mini IED, ha ha haa. Two mini IED, ha ha haa. Three mini IED, ha ha haaaaa! This is getting ugly. That blade’s spinning up a good amount slower, and one of the rear corners of the pizza is crumpled. Harbinger backs off as the pin timer expires, and the rookie machine starts spinning back up as it edges gingerly away from the wall. It looks like some buckled armour is interfering with its left wheel. Well, that also means that it can’t get reliably far enough from the wall for Josh to circle it. We’re also approaching the 2:00 mark, so he’s not about to risk being in the Smash Bros. ring out zone either.
What results is actually a hit for Pizza! Seeking an advantage, Josh cuts it a bit too close and Pizza waggles back, catching the corner of Harbinger’s plow, tearing a sizable gouge, and spinning it away just as the walls fall! Josh recovers control just as his bot skids into one of the mini IEDs, but doesn’t need its help to stay inbounds. With the clock starting to wind down and his primary strategy of getting behind not viable, Josh settles for a good old-fashioned rush, hoping to catch pizza at low power.
No dice. The spinner is able to get off a near-full-power hit, and the effects are devastating. Harbinger’s plow is shredded, and torn clean off one of its hinges, barely hanging on with the other. That’s the good news for Tcrr. The bad news is that his bot launches itself up, sideways, and right between a pair of mini IEDs. Pizza that Eats you ends up out of the arena and in the safety netting. Harbinger escapes with a win. I sure hope that Josh has an extra plow.
Result: Harbinger wins by OOTA at 2:28