WEEK 1:
(low aerial view of Charlotte, North Carolina, near the Charlotte Convention Center, as the Armageddon! logo fades in)
(shot of the interior of the Charlotte Convention Center, showing the Armageddon! Arena, bleachers filled with people, and the pits behind the arena)
(shot of two caucasian men, one bald with matrix-style sunglasses, and one brown-haired man with short hair and a beard on a stage somewhat like on ABC's battlebots, where they talk about the upcoming battles and competitors)
Bald Man: Welcome to ARMAGEDDON! The one and only robot fighting tournament with enough carnage to reignite the will to fight in a demoralized barbarian, i'm Richard Hallberg.
Brown-Haired Man: And I'm Joseph B. Harrison.
Richard: We have 16 competitors-one of which was a no-show, people have come near and far to compete in the first ever Armageddon! tournament, our prize, Joseph?
Joseph: The one and only Giant Nut, Richard, and a five thousand dollar cash prize! You get a sign of how much ass your robot kicked, and enough money to pay that rent for awhile. It's a win-win situation!
(the screen behind Richard Hallberg and Joseph B. Harrison shows the brackets and the two proceed to talk about them, and then a short overview about the arena)
Richard: Phew! That was a mouthful.
Joseph: I know by now, you're itching for a fight, but don't sleep on it, because we're about to get into the gravy!
Richard: That's right, our first fight of the season--Team Edgy Robotics's Don't Steal It's Bad versus The Monsterworks's Osiris!
(shot to near the arena, where Joseph and Richard proceed to interview Team Edgy Robotics, and The Monsterworks about their strategies)
DON'T STEAL IT'S BAD V.S OSIRIS
(shot to inside the arena, where the two robots are loaded into the arena, and a shot to a tall suited, older tan-skinned man with salt and pepper hair, wearing sunglasses, and is holding a mic)
Suited Man: Ladies, and gentlemen, this is a Armageddon! tournament fight, i am John Pardo, and here is our opponents!
(shot to Don't Steal It's Bad)
John: In the Red Square, all thiefs beware, run for the hills, run for your mommy, not that it'll do much to stop your inevitable destruction by DON'T STEAL, IT'S BAD!
(shot to Osiris)
John: In the Blue Square, without a regret on his mind, this green-skinned god will send you to the afterlife no matter what! Here is, OSIRIS!
(John Pardo, and the teams proceed to exit the arena, shot to the arena buzzer, which proceeds to activate)
(angled shot to above the arena)
Richard: The box is locked, the buzzer sounds, prepare for some Armageddon!
Joseph: The two bots proceed to go at eachother, the much slower Don't Steal It's Bad getting it's powerful weapon up to speed, but OH SNAP!
Richard: Osiris has got Don't Steal It's Bad on it's wedge, suffering a bit of damage from Don't Steal It's Bad's weapon, and Osiris proceeds to push him into the walls near the starting areas, the weapon on Don't Steal It's Bad took a major, major hit.
(camera zooms in on Don't Steal It's Bad)
Joseph: Yeah Richard, looks like that impact messed up Don't Steal It's Bad's weapon big time, luckily Don't Steal It's Bad attempted to slow down their weapon to brace for it--not like it'd do much, anyway.
Richard: Osiris's weapon proceeds to bite down on the heavily damaged weapon of Don't Steal It's Bad, sparks flying due to that saw grinding in on Don't Steal It's Bad, it hasn't been 15 seconds and i think we may have a winner here.
(camera angles in on a lower view)
Joseph: Osiris showing heavy aggression here, scoring points with the judges, and Don't Steal It's Bad is attempting to flank outta the weapon, and woah!
Richard: Didn't expect that, Don't Steal It's Bad spinning up it's damaged weapon, a bit unstable, but it goes for Osiris--and WOAH!
Joseph: Yikes! That impact sent Osiris and Don't Steal It's Bad flying across the arena--Osiris tanked most of the hit but suffered some damage to it's wedge--Don't Steal It's Bad, on the other hand, seemed to kill it's weapon motor.
Richard: You know Joseph, might as well call Osiris "Chumbawumba", because it gets knocked down, but it gets up again, and judging by this so far, you're never going to keep Osiris down!
Joseph: The two bots are now proceeding to square off against eachother, the much faster Osiris attempting to wedge Don't Steal It's Bad, but it keeps on getting flanked by Don't Steal It's Bad, the two are showing heavy aggression, though.
Richard: I see that Don't Steal It's Bad is going total beast mode on Osiris, though, even if it took out it's own weapon, it doesn't demoralize Team Edgy Robotics, it keeps on going and going, and what's this?
Joseph: It's Osiris going in for the kill, Richard. Don't Steal It's Bad trying to avoid Osiris, he tries to get away from Osiris, but Osiris presses down, shows aggression, and proceeds to bite down on Don't Steal It's Bad, the saw going down, grinding down on Don't Steal It's bad, and oh no!
(camera zooms in on the pit)
Richard: It's been halfway through the match, and the pit! THE PIT IS LOWERED! Osiris attempts to send the weakened Don't Steal It's Bad into the pit, but Don't Steal It's Bad flanks out of Osiris, and attempts to drive away!
Joseph: Osiris ain't having none of that, though, he's back on the money, he's got the eyes on his prize and his first knockout of the season! What a match this was.
(match over, shot of near the arena, showing John Pardo, Team Edgy Robotics, and The Monsterworks)
John: Your winner, by Knockout, is..
John: OSIRIS!
(replays of the match, with Richard and Joseph going over the major parts of the match, and analyzing on what exactly happened)
(commercial break, featuring alot of advertisements for ABC's apparently hit new comedy starring an autistic kid that i just made up for this, also some snuggle advertisements, that bear is creepy as balls man)
(shot of the stage and Richard and Joseph)
Richard: Welcome back to ARMAGEDDON! Before the break, we saw Team Edgy Robotic's Don't Steal It's Bad fight The Monsterwork's Osiris, and now, this time around we'll be seeing Team Aquatic Robotic's Disaster fight up against Team Blood Gulch's King Dedede, and we'll also see Team Ignition's The 'Shroom Of Doom Fight up against The British Robotics's Upchuck III.
Joseph: Why wait, let's cut to the chase and see some robotic destruction!
(shot to near the arena, where Joseph and Richard proceed to interview Team Aquatic Robotics, and Team Blood Gulch about their strategies)
(shot to inside the arena, where the two robots are loaded into the arena, and a shot to John Pardo)
John: Ladies, and gentlemen, this is a Armageddon! tournament fight, i am John Pardo, and here is our opponents!
(shot to Disaster)
John: In the Red Square, this is a test of your emergency alert system. The area in effect is the Armageddon Arena. Nobody will be safe from DISASTER!
(shot to King Dedede)
John: In the Blue Square, a world without heroes is a world suited best for KING DEDEDE!
(John Pardo, and the teams proceed to exit the arena, shot to the arena buzzer, which proceeds to activate)
(angled shot to above the arena)
Richard: The box is locked, the buzzer sounds, prepare for some Armageddon!
Joseph: Looks like Disaster is avoiding King Dedede's charge at him, would be a wise choice until he gets up to speed.
Richard: Yeah Joseph, King Dedede is backing up, preparing for a second charge, but this time, at Disaster's sides, those prongs could easily outwedge King Dedede.
Joseph: Disaster is turning to face King Dedede, and he charges at him! Woah nelly!
(low shot to near Disaster)
Richard: Looks like that hit from Disaster really bucked up King Dedede's wedge and sent the bots skidding across the arena floor, what impact!
Joseph: The two bots proceed to charge back at eachother, King Dedede making sure he doesn't hit the gold prongs on Disaster.
Richard: Yeah, looks like King Dedede angled in, and is now proceeding to push Disaster around, Disaster is trying to escape, but King Dedede is bringing on a world of pain to Disaster, his hammer continiously firing!
Joseph: King Dedede now has Disaster pinned against the wall near the red square. As Richard said, King Dede is beating the crap out of Disaster, and Disaster is trying to escape--but man, he does!
Richard: King Dedede is not having none of that, but Disaster is backing up, and woah! He's sending King Dedede across the arena with his blade, seriously messing up the wedge on King Dedede, lets see if Disaster can score a critical hit on King Dedede-
Joseph: And WOAH! HE DOES! DISASTER! WOAAH MAN!
Richard: That hit from Disaster seems to have knocked out King Dedede's drivetrain. Disaster going back to his starting square--and we have a winner here!
(match over, shot of near the arena, showing John Pardo, Team Edgy Robotics, and The Monsterworks)
John: Your winner, by Knockout, is..
John: DISASTER!
(replays of the match, with Richard and Joseph going over the major parts of the match, and analyzing on what exactly happened)
Joseph: That was one hell of a fight, next match we'll be seeing tonight will be The British Robotics Upchuck III fight up against Team Ignition's The 'Shroom of Doom.
Richard: Let's get to it, then!
UPCHUCK III V.S THE 'SHROOM OF DOOM
(shot to near the arena, where Joseph and Richard proceed to interview The British Robotics, and Team Ignition about their strategies)
(shot to inside the arena, where the two robots are loaded into the arena, and a shot to John Pardo)
John: Ladies, and gentlemen, this is a Armageddon! tournament fight, i am John Pardo, and here is our opponents!
(shot to Upchuck III)
John: In the Red Square, this bot's flipper will make you brexit the arena like the United Kingdom! Here is, UPCHUCK III!
(shot to The 'Shroom of Doom)
John: In the Blue Square, while you're tripping balls, he'll be leaving you black and blue, it's THE 'SHROOM OF DOOM!
(John Pardo, and the teams proceed to exit the arena, shot to the arena buzzer, which proceeds to activate)
(angled shot to above the arena)
Richard: The box is locked, the buzzer sounds, prepare for some Armageddon!
Joseph: The 'Shroom Of Doom getting up to speed here, and Upchuck III leaving it's square, the flipper pointing at The 'Shroom of Doom.
Richard: The teeth on The 'Shroom Of Doom should be high enough to leave a dent on Upchuck III's flipper and WOAH!
Joseph: That was an impact alright between the two bots, and the two are sent flying across the arena. Let's take a closer look, shall we?
(close shot to Upchuck III's flipper)
Richard: Yeah Joseph, a huge gash caused by The 'Shroom of Doom is on Upchuck III's flipper, looks like it messed up the piston, too.
(angled shot near the two bots)
Joseph: In layman's terms, that is not good for The British Robotics. Upchuck III maintaining it's defensiveness though, avoiding The 'Shroom of Doom, but The 'Shroom of Doom charges at Upchuck III's sides! YIKES!
Richard: Yikes is an understatement, Joseph. A huge chunk of Upchuck III's armor is teared through by that nasty ring spinner of The 'Shroom of Doom.
Joseph: How many drivetrains have been messed up this season, again? We had Dont Steal It's Bad, and King Dedede get their drivetrains FUBAR'd, and Upchuck III may be on the list.
Richard: Possibly add him to the list now Joseph, because even though Upchuck III is playing the defensive route, not that it'll do much, though.
Joseph: The 'Shroom of Doom being aggressive and charging at Upchuck III, and DAMN, SON!
Richard: The 'Shroom of Doom attacks Upchuck III, and looks like- Fire, FIRE, FIRE!
Joseph: OH NO! Upchuck III! Upchuck III is on fire due to that impact! Looks like The 'Shroom of Doom hit it's batteries! Somebody stop the damn match! Please!
(shot to above the arena, with Upchuck III on fire, The 'Shroom of Doom going back to it's square and spinning down, and arena staff entering the arena and extinguising Upchuck III)
(match over, shot of near the arena, showing John Pardo, a distraught British Robotics, and Team Ignition)
John: Your winner, by Knockout, is..
John: THE 'SHROOM OF DOOM!
(replays of the match, with Richard and Joseph going over the major parts of the match, and analyzing on what exactly happened)
(commercial break, featuring some skittles commercials, movie commercials, and some more goddamn snuggle commercials, that bear gives me the chilly willies dude)
(shot of the stage and Richard and Joseph)
Richard: Welcome back to ARMAGEDDON! Before the break, we saw Team Blood Gulch's King Dedede fight up against Aquatic Robotics' Disaster, and Team Ignition's The 'Shroom of Doom totally mess up The British Robotics' Upchuck III. Now, we will be seeing Team Lone Star's King Cobra fight against Team Fox's Ducky-Boo, Team Playzooki's Give Your Meat A Good 'Ol Rub IV fight against Angry Goat Robotics' Wedge, and Team Cardboard Pony's Plain As Butter fight up against Tartarus Robotics Group's Hoarfrost.
Joseph: We would see Team Voiceless Cruelty's Echo fight up against Alpha Robotics' Scarpath, but Echo suffered from electrical problems and had to forfeit, but its okay, every entrant gets a free 12-pack of 7-Up. 7-Up is really good, man!
Richard: Anyway, let's cut to the chase, let's not keep our audience waiting!
KING COBRA V.S DUCKY-BOO
(shot to near the arena, where Joseph and Richard proceed to interview Team Lone Star, and Team Fox about their strategies)
(shot to inside the arena, where the two robots are loaded into the arena, and a shot to John Pardo)
John: Ladies, and gentlemen, this is a Armageddon! tournament fight, i am John Pardo, and here is our opponents!
(shot to King Cobra)
John: In the Red Square, this snaky fellow is here to prove that only the strong survive in El Paso, nothing will save you from the bite of KING COBRA!
(shot to Ducky-Boo)
John: In the Blue Square, he is here to prove Darwin's theory of Evolution, so no matter if you're a college professor or a pedestrian, take the hint and get the move on when you see DUCKY-BOO!
(John Pardo, and the teams proceed to exit the arena, shot to the arena buzzer, which proceeds to activate)
(angled shot to above the arena)
Richard: The box is locked, the buzzer sounds, prepare for some Armageddon!
Joseph: King Cobra spinning it's disc up, and Ducky-Boo making it's charge towards King Cobra.
Richard: King Cobra moves out of the way, but due to all of the weight, his back end slides around a bit, and rushes towards Ducky-Boo's sides, and making a big tear in Ducky Boo's side armor. Dang!
Joseph: Ducky-Boo with it's anti-spinner attachment proceeds to back away and charges at King Cobra and--ARE YOU KIDDING ME!
Richard: Ducky-Boo ends the match in one flip! ONE FLIP! King Cobra gets sent flying-DID HE JUST DO SOME PROPERTY DAMAGE?
(shot to the downed stage light)
Joseph: King Cobra took out one of the stage lights! ONE OF THE STAGE LIGHTS, MAN!
Richard: Yeah, i-uh, we have a record for the shortest Armageddon match ever. King Cobra gets sent out of the arena and takes one of the stage lights with him. We have a winner here.
(match over, shot of near the arena, showing John Pardo, Team Lone Star, and Team Fox)
John: Your winner, by Knockout, is..
John: DUCKY-BOO!
(replays of the match, with Richard and Joseph going over the major parts of the match, and analyzing on what exactly happened)
Joseph: What a match, what a match, and we're going to have to pay for a new stage light, dammit King Cobra!
Richard: Anyway, we're moving out to the next match, and that is Team Playzooki's Give Your Meat A Good Ol Rub IV fighting against Angry Goat Robotics' Wedge.
Joseph: We may have a good ol' fight on our hands!
GIVE YOUR MEAT A GOOD 'OL RUB IV V.S WEDGE
(shot to near the arena, where Joseph and Richard proceed to interview Team Playzooki, and Angry Goat Robotics about their strategies)
(shot to inside the arena, where the two robots are loaded into the arena, and a shot to John Pardo)
John: Ladies, and gentlemen, this is a Armageddon! tournament fight, i am John Pardo, and here is our opponents!
(shot to Give Your Meat A Good 'Ol Rub IV)
John: In the Red Square, a extremely long name is his secret ability, i'd say it all, but dammit, this is a half-hour long program! Here is, GIVE YOUR MEAT A GOOD 'OL RUB IV!
(shot to Wedge)
John: In the Blue Square, when push comes to shove, he sees the opportunity for his time to shine! Make room for WEDGE!
(John Pardo, and the teams proceed to exit the arena, shot to the arena buzzer, which proceeds to activate)
(angled shot to above the arena)
Richard: The box is locked, the buzzer sounds, prepare for some Armageddon!
Joseph: Looks like Give Your Meat A Good 'Ol Rub IV isn't moving, wait a second..
(shot towards Team Playzooki's captain)
Joseph: ...Is he reading out a recipe to his teammates?
Richard: Looks like he is, Joseph. Wedge is just driving around, spinning around in circles, and Give Your Meat A Good 'Ol Rub is on the verge of getting counted out as the team captain is reading out a recipe made by none other than Ainsley Harriot himself. Last match, we had the shortest match ever, now this match, we have the possibly strangest match ever.
Joseph: Give Your Meat A Good 'Ol Rub IV is getting counted out now, and Wedge is just driving around the arena without a care in the world. This might be the easiest match win ever for Angry Goat Robotics.
Richard: And we're done here. Give Your Meat A Good 'Ol Rub IV is counted out. What a strange, boring match we had here.
(match over, shot of near the arena, showing John Pardo, Team Playzooki, the team captain is still reading out the recipe, and Angry Goat Robotics)
John: Your winner, by Knockout, is..
John: WEDGE!
(shot to Richard and Joseph on the stage)
Richard: Up next is the last match for the day.
Joseph: And that is Team Cardboard Pony's Plain as Butter fighting up against Tartarus Robotics Group's Hoarfrost.
Richard: Let's get to it!
PLAIN AS BUTTER V.S HOARFROST
(shot to near the arena, where Joseph and Richard proceed to interview Team Playzooki, and Angry Goat Robotics about their strategies)
(shot to inside the arena, where the two robots are loaded into the arena, and a shot to John Pardo)
John: Ladies, and gentlemen, this is a Armageddon! tournament fight, i am John Pardo, and here is our opponents!
(shot to Plain As Butter)
John: In the Red Square, he cuts it short, makes it simple, but please, make sure you don't bleed on his suit! Here is, PLAIN AS BUTTER!
(shot to Hoarfrost)
John: In the Blue Square, you thought lake effect snow was bad enough? That is nothing compared to the nasty wintry mix that is named... HOARFROST!
(John Pardo, and the teams proceed to exit the arena, shot to the arena buzzer, which proceeds to activate)
(angled shot to above the arena)
Richard: The box is locked, the buzzer sounds, prepare for some Armageddon!
Joseph: Hoarfrost and Plain As Butter coming out of their squares, they're doing just fine.
Richard: The two bots are now proceeding to square off against eachother, Plain As Butter's lifter pressing down and low in hope of getting under Hoarfrost.
Joseph: Hoarfrost charges at Hoarfrost! That pressed down lifter of Plain As Butter proceeds to lift up to flip over Hoarfrost!
Richard: What a lift! Hoarfrost proceeds to charge at Plain As Butter's sides--and proceeds to be aggressive as a pitbull that's trained to kill, and plows him into the arena walls.
Joseph: Plain As Butter proceeds to charge back at Hoarfrost, but Hoarfrost moves out of the way, and Plain As Butter proceeds to press down, affecting it's maneuverability.
Richard: Hoarfrost proceeds to slam Plain As Butter into the walls once more, Plain As Butter trying to flank, but it's too late!
Joseph: The two bots proceed to charge back at eachother, Hoarfrost attempting to plow Plain As Butter, but Plain As Butter spins around, charges, and lifts up Hoarfrost once more.
Richard: Hoarfrost drives off, and proceeds to spin around, and plow Plain As Butter into the walls once more--and the pit is down boys!
(camera zooms in on the pit)
Joseph: Hoarfrost backs off, Plain As Butter charges at Hoarfrost, but Hoarfrost flanks Plain As Butter, and rams him into the pit!
Richard: What a match, what a match!
(match over, shot of near the arena, showing John Pardo, Team Cardboard Pony, and Tartarus Robotics Group)
John: Your winner, by Knockout, is..
John: HOARFROST!
(shot to Richard and Joseph on the stage)
Joseph: That's all we have for today!
Richard: What a fight we had, before we go, next episode, we will be having a special guest star join us.
Joseph: But until then, see you soon!
(fade to black, replays of the matches can be seen)
More matches coming soon!
Armageddon! - Results
Moderator: Tournament Hosts
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winternimbus
- Posts: 462
- Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm
- Location: Rochester, New York
- Team: Team Foxtrot Uniform
Armageddon! - Results
Last edited by winternimbus on Fri Mar 24, 2017 11:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
winter! she/they/it pronouns, trans rights babey!
ROBOT FIGHT NIGHT: MINI
Break Dash - 1-1
Neophyte Redglare - 1-1
Neophyte Redglare - Robot Fight Night: Season 1 Quarter-Finals, Cherry Bomb Classic 3 Quarter-Finals
America Offline - Robot Fight Night: Season 1 Quarter-Finals
"I'm curious what tactical advantage you're hoping to gain by sacrificing a portion of your bots size/weight for a deployable banana"
-NWOWWE, 2017
-
winternimbus
- Posts: 462
- Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm
- Location: Rochester, New York
- Team: Team Foxtrot Uniform
Armageddon! - Results
WEEK 2:
(low aerial view of Charlotte, North Carolina, near the Charlotte Convention Center, as the Armageddon! logo fades in)
(shot of the interior of the Charlotte Convention Center, showing the Armageddon! Arena, bleachers filled with people, and the pits behind the arena)
(shot of two caucasian men, one bald with matrix-style sunglasses, and one brown-haired man with short hair and a beard on a stage somewhat like on ABC's battlebots, where they talk about the upcoming battles and competitors)
Richard: Welcome back to ARMAGEDDON! The only robotics show that can ignite the will to fight in the most laziest of couch potatoes. And i'm Richard Hallberg.
Joseph: That's right, Richard, i'm Joseph B. Harrison. Last week, we saw some incredible fights, such as Team Ignition's The 'Shroom of Doom absolutely destroying The British Robotic's Upchuck III.
Richard: And Team Fox's Ducky-Boo sending Team Lone Star's King Cobra flying--and King Cobra taking a stage light down with him!
Joseph: But that's enough recaps for now, we have a special guest star...
Richard: And that is KIRK KIDD OF MEAN GREEN MOTORSPORTS!
(shot to a clean-shaven blonde man in a monster energy drink-sponsored race suit walking up to the stage)
(shot to the stage, Joseph, Richard, and Kirk)
Joseph: What's up Kirk? Huge fan of you. Can i have an autograph?
*Kirk Kidd laughs*
Kirk: Hahahaha, probably not, but at the same time, possibly, but not on camera. We want it to be a surprise, you know?
Joseph: Heh, yeah. Anyway.
Richard: Tonight, we will see The Monsterworks' Osiris fight up against Chaotic Robotics' Deception. Luckily for Chaotic Robotics, their opponent was a no-show, so they had a head-start for them. But unfortunately, they have to fight Osiris.
Kirk: Shame that their opponent was a no-show, I want to see some glorified RC Car fights, baby!
Joseph: Not so fast, we have yet to dive into the history of The Monsterworks and Chaotic Robotics.
(shot to snippets of The Monsterworks and Chaotic Robotics' daily lives, and what they have done, and what has led up to the creation of their bots.)
Kirk: Well, that was kind interesting, but at the same time, not, i'm gettin' antsy over here, lets get into the potatoes and gravy!
Richard: To Kirk Kidd's request, let's do it!
OSIRIS V.S DECEPTION
(shot to near the arena, where Joseph and Richard proceed to interview The Monsterworks, and Chaotic Robotics about their strategies)
(shot to inside the arena, where the two robots are loaded into the arena, and a shot to John Pardo)
John: Ladies, and gentlemen, this is a Armageddon! tournament fight, i am John Pardo, and here is our opponents!
(shot to Osiris)
John: In the Red Square, he's come back from the underworld to seek venegance on his foes! Give it up for, OSIRIS!!
(shot to Deception)
John: In the Blue Square, with his odd shape and spinning blade, he truly is the master of disaster, and the master of... DECEPTION!
(John Pardo, and the teams proceed to exit the arena, shot to the arena buzzer, which proceeds to activate)
(angled shot to above the arena)
Richard: The box is locked, the buzzer sounds, prepare for some Armageddon!
Kirk: Looks like Deception is spinning up it's weapon, but Osiris has charged Deception!
Joseph: No crap, Osiris has wedged the more wider Deception, and that blade, that blade!
Richard: Yeah Joseph, that blade on Deception has completely slowed down to a stop, and Osiris has pressed it's lifter down on Deception.
Kirk: That can't be good for Deception!
Joseph: But Deception has reversed, floors it back into the wall, and has attempted to swing it's chassis around, and spinning it's bar up to speed.
Richard: But Osiris isn't having any of that, he reverses, and charges Deception into the wall, looks like some of the shock from the impact has damaged Deception a bit.
Kirk: Osiris clamps down on Deception, and for Deception, he cant run away because his rear is slammed against that wall.
Joseph: Osiris brings it's clamp and saw down, and proceeds to saw down on Deception.
(shot to Deception)
Richard: Mmmmmmm! Some sweet saw action from Osiris.
Joseph: Wait a minute, what's that i'm seeing?
Kirk: Smoke! It's smoke!
Richard: Looks like Osiris completely cut down Deception's weapon motor, and it's smoking! Yikes!
Joseph: Osiris releases it's weapon, and backs off, a now-disabled Deception coming after, he's smokin', baby!
(camera zooms in on the pit)
Kirk: Oh snap, it's the pit!
Joseph: That's our gun to tell us "our match is halfway over!"
Richard: Osiris turning around and flanking Deception, attempting to push it into the pit.
Joseph: But Deception isn't having that, he flanks Osiris, and attempts to push OSIRIS into the pit! Oh, how the tables have turned.
Kirk: Osiris isn't having that fast one pulled on him, he backs off, and rams Deception into the pit, and that's a match, folks!
Richard: THAT'S MY LINE!
(match over, shot of near the arena, showing John Pardo, The Monsterworks, and Chaotic Robotics)
John: Your winner, by Knockout, and will advance to the semifinals is..
John: OSIRIS!
(replays of the match, with Richard and Joseph going over the major parts of the match, and analyzing on what exactly happened)
Kirk: What a match that was!
Richard: No kidding! Up next is probably quite a deadly match, and Joseph, give it up!
Joseph: And that is Team Ignition's The 'Shroom of Doom going up against Aquatic Robotics' Disaster. Let's get to it!
THE 'SHROOM OF DOOM V.S DISASTER
(shot to near the arena, where Joseph and Richard proceed to interview Team Ignition, and Aquatic Robotics about their strategies)
(shot to inside the arena, where the two robots are loaded into the arena, and a shot to John Pardo)
John: Ladies, and gentlemen, this is a Armageddon! tournament fight, i am John Pardo, and here is our opponents!
(shot to The 'Shroom Of Doom)
John: In the Red Square, he isn't breaking people's legs to get himself legal, no, he breaks people's legs just because he think it's fun! Here is, THE 'SHROOM OF DOOM!
(shot to Disaster)
John: In the Blue Square, this bot's name is a good one-word summarization of the third Matrix movie, and what his opponent will look like after three minutes in the arena, here is, DISASTER!
(John Pardo, and the teams proceed to exit the arena, shot to the arena buzzer, which proceeds to activate)
(angled shot to above the arena)
Richard: The box is locked, the buzzer sounds, prepare for some Armageddon!
Joseph: The 'Shroom of Doom's deadly spinning dome getting up to speed, i said this once i believe--but i don't want to be anywhere near that!
Kirk: No kidding!
Richard: Disaster going up to speed too, this is a classic match, horizontal spinner versus vertical spinner.
Joseph: The two bots getting close to eachother now.
(low shot near the two bots)
Richard: OH DAMN!
Joseph: Yikes! The two bots impact eachother, sending them flying across the arena, The 'Shroom of Doom impacting the wall!
(shot to Disaster)
Kirk: Looks like that impact toppled over Disaster! It's now angled on it's side, a huge gash in it's blade given to it by The 'Shroom of Doom!
Richard: No kidding, Aquatic Robotics' plan of "even if disaster's weapon breaks we can still move" might be out the window. A little bit though.
Joseph: A little?
Richard: You heard me!
Kirk: The 'Shroom Of Doom is up to speed, and is going for the kill!
Joseph: WHOA!
Richard: Whoa--is right! Disaster literally got spiked into the wall by The 'Shroom Of Doom!
Joseph: Like a angered retard without a wrangler in sight, The 'Shroom Of Doom wants more carnage, and destruction! He rams into Disaster once more!
Kirk: Damn!
Richard: Looks like that was the killing blow for Disaster, Aquatic Robotics' team captain working hard at the controller, but Disaster is not responding.
Joseph: Disaster now getting counted out, we have a winner here! The 'Shroom of Doom marches onto the semifinals!
(match over, shot of near the arena, showing John Pardo, Team Ignition, and Aquatic Robotics)
John: Your winner, by Knockout, and will advance to the semifinals is..
John: THE 'SHROOM OF DOOM!
(replays of the match, with Richard and Joseph going over the major parts of the match, and analyzing on what exactly happened)
(commercial break, with some shitty sitcom being advertised, along with some movies--and robotic bastards 2)
WEDGE. VS. DUCKY-BOO
(overhead pan of the Charlotte Convention Centre, music playing)
(shot of Richard and Joseph, camera zooms in)
Richard: welcome back to Armageddon, where we've just finished up our first two quarterfinals.
Joseph: That's right, Richard. We witnessed a real corker between Aquatic Robotics' vertical spinner Disaster and Team Ignition's horizontal spinner the 'Shroom of Doom! What a match it was!
Richard: no doubt about that! Now we'll be moving to the lower half of the bracket, where first up, we have Angry Goat Robotics' tongue-in-cheek entry, Wedge., up against Team Fox's adorable flipper Ducky-Boo.
Joseph: Now, Ducky-Boo may be a favourite with the kids, but it packs a seriously powerful flipper. However, in my mind, the bigger question is whether or not it can do much to an opponent as fast and invertible as Wedge.
Richard: Well, there's only one way to find out! Down to the arena we go!
(shot of a pre-filmed segment, where Joseph and Richard interview the teams about their strategies)
(shot to inside the arena, where the two robots are loaded into the arena, and a shot to John Pardo)
John: Ladies, and gentlemen, this is an Armageddon! tournament fight, I am John Pardo, and here are our opponents!
(shot to Wedge.)
John: It's not just a doorstop. In fact, it has class, sophistication, and taste! That's right! This is a doorstop with a full stop! Introducing...Wedge.!
(shot to Ducky-Boo)
John: Guess what, everybody? It's hunting season, but this duck isn't about to be the hunted again. On no! It's armed, dangerous, and determined to be the hunter this time. It's...Ducky-Boo!
(John Pardo and the teams proceed to exit the arena, shot to the arena buzzer, which proceeds to activate)
(angled shot to above the arena)
Richard: The box is locked, the buzzer sounds, prepare for some Armageddon!
Joseph: And there's Wedge! rocketing out of its square like somebody lit its tail on fire!
Richard: Yes, but Ducky-Boo's making moves of its own. It looks like it's trying to hang out near the wall. As we've seen before, that flipper definitely has the power to toss someone out of the arena.
Joseph: But Wedge, isn't falling for it! You can see the concentration on Gabe Hopp's face as he uses his robot's better speed and control to angle in on that small flipper of of Ducky-Boo.
Richard: Absolutely. Now he's gotten underneath and is pushing Ducky-Boo around at will. It's really not the most exciting stuff, but what else is a Wedge? really going to do?
Joseph: Yeah, it might have been a tactical error on Team Fox's part to not go with the anti-wedge setup. There doesn't really seem to be much he can ----
Richard: OOOHH! He just pulled a Bronco!
Joseph: That was smart! He just used the power of his flipper to buck himself free of Wedge's wedge!
(shot of Ducky-Boo quickly self-righting and spinning away from Wedge: as it charges)
Richard: But there's Wedge; right back on top! He's like a dog with a bone and he's not letting Ducky-Boo go!
Joseph: Ducky-Boo uses the same trick to free itself again, but you've gotta start wondering, at a certain point, how much gas it has in that flipper.
Richard: that's definitely a concern, but at this point, his bigger problem is Wedge}
Joseph: We're past the halfway mark and this one really hasn't been as exciting as we'd hoped.
Richard: Ducky-Boo has been completely outdr----
Joseph: Talk about jinxing it!
(shot to the arena, where Ducky-Boo scores a mighty flip on Wedge$)
Richard: Wow, what was that? A 720?
Joseph: At least! Man, that thing has power.
Richard: That it does. Too bad Wedge# is invertible though.
(shot to the arena, where the pit is decending)
Joseph: Well, now that we've reached the 1:50 mark, things could get a bit interesting. Wedge* has been on top for most of the fight, but Ducky-Boo definitely has the power to fling it into the pit.
Richard: This is definitely still anyone's fight!
(shot to the arena, where Wedge% dodges a flipping attempt from Ducky-Boo and gets around its side)
Joseph: OHH! Talk about the kiss of death! And just like that Wedge+ has pitted Ducky-Boo. Can't say I'm really surprised at that result.
Richard: Yeah, Wedge/ was definitely on top for most of that one. I can't help but wonder what would've happened if Ducky-Boo had chosen a different flipper configuration.
Joseph: Well, there's always next season...
(match over, shot of near the arena, showing John Pardo, Team Fox, and Angry Goat Robotics)
John: Your winner, by Knockout, and will advance to the semifinals is..
John: WEDGE‽!!!!
(replays of the match, with Richard and Joseph going over the major parts of the match, and analyzing on what exactly happened)
(commercial break with some awkward tampon ad, a toy ad, and more Robot Bastards 2)
SCARPATH VS. HOARFROST
(view of the convention center from above. Armageddon logo fades in. Cut to Joseph and Richard sitting in the studio)
Joseph: And we're back at the Charlotte Convention Center, where three of our four quarterfinals are in the books!
Richard: We've had sparks, destruction, some brilliant driving, and...some Wedge.
Joseph: Not exactly our most exciting match of the tournament, that last one.
Richard: Haha, I'll say. Anyway, hoping to redeem wedges everywhere we've got Tartarus Robotics Group's Hoarfrost up next against Alpha Robotics' Scarpath.
Joseph: This should be a good match between two newer, up-and-coming teams. It's hard not to think of them as rivals in a lot of ways.
Richard: and how about the robots themselves?
Joseph: Another wedge up against another saw. Both design types already have a bot locked in to the semis. What I'm wondering is which one is going to get a second in.
Richard: That's a very good question, and I wish I knew the answer. How about we ask the teams?
(interviews with the team captains, build segments, predictions, and prefight talk)
Joseph: Well there you have it, from the builders themselves! There's only one thing left to do:
Richard: That's right, Joe, down to the arena!
(shot to inside the arena, where the two robots are loaded into the arena, and a shot to John Pardo)
John: Ladies, and gentlemen, this is an Armageddon! tournament fight, I am John Pardo, and here are our opponents!
(shot to Scarpath)
John: "Wanna know how I got these scars?" If you ever get close enough to hear this bot ask you, then you're about to find out! Introducing... SCARPATH!
John: Make another 'Winter is Coming' joke. Do it. This robot dares you! Introducing... HOARFROST!
(John Pardo and the teams proceed to exit the arena, shot to the arena buzzer, which proceeds to activate)
(angled shot to above the arena)
Richard: The box is locked, the buzzer sounds, prepare for some Armageddon!
Joseph: WOW! Did you see that?!
Richard: That's some speed!
Joseph: Hoarfrost rocketing out of its starting square and angling in on Scarpath's plow!
Richard: Yeah, but Scarpath isn't taking that lying down. He smacks it with the dustpan and...
Joseph: That did surprisingly little.
Richard: Hoarfrost is surprisingly grippy. It barely budges and manages to get under the corner of Scarpath's dustpan.
Joseph: You ever seen what happens when a bird runs into a pane of glass?
Richard: OUCH!
Joseph: Scarpath tries to wiggle off of Hoarfrost's wedge, but the Tartarus machine adjusts quickly and manages to keep it onto the wedge.
Richard: Into the wall they go!
Joseph: See, now this is when I'm not a big fan of weaponless wedges. What's Hoarfrost gonna do?
Richard: eat up the entire pin time, it looks like.
Joseph: But what's this?! Scarpath is wiggling its saw arm, trying to pry itself loose.
Richard: I think it's found a little traction!
(closeup of the robots, locked in a pushing match)
Joseph: Can. it. do. it?
Richard: Yes! Yes, it's broken free.
Joseph: both of them backing off now and resetting. Hoarfrost looking to avoid head on collisions and use that blazing speed to make sure that it doesn't get caught with the saw.
Richard: definitely a smart move by the driver. As we saw earlier with Osiris, those saws can do some serious damage given enough time.
(camera follows the robots chasing each other around, each trying to angle in)
Joseph: It looks like Hoarfrost has gained the advantage again, and he starts pushing Scarpath towards the wall.
Richard: But...NO! Scarpath j-hooks away and gets around Hoarfrost's side. This could be the opportunity he's been waiting for!
Joseph: Yeah, or not. Hoarfrost turns on the afterburners and gets away, resetting in the middle of the arena even as Scarpath comes charging in.
Richard: And Hoarfrost's wedge wins out again. Scarpath rides right up it.
Joseph: They seem to be kinda...locked together.
Richard: it's quite a pushing match.
(closeup of the two robots slowly zooming out to reveal a cloud of tire smoke surrounding them)
Joseph: It seems like that dustpan of Scarpath is jammed up in the wheels of Hoarfrost.
Richard: Yeah, but Scarpath also seems to be struggling for traction. It's a total stalemate.
Joseph: Looks like we spoke too soon. Hoarfrost has turned a little bit and flanked again.
Richard: but there's Scarpath escaping milliseconds before what would've been a pretty nice slam!
Joseph: and now it darts in and brings the saw down on Hoarfrost! This could be a game changer!
(shot of the damage being caused. Sparks flying)
Richard: Not if Hoarfrost has anything to do with it! He's gettin' the hell outta Dodge!
Joseph: Not without a scar on his pretty white paint, though. His speed has saved him twice in this match now. It's really hard to get a long-term grip on something that fast.
(shot of the pit lowering)
Richard: Definitely, and now that we're at the 1:50 mark, it's a whole new ballgame.
Joseph: Hoarfrost is dialing up the aggression now, and they're playing a game of brinkmanship around the pit.
Richard: OH, and Scarpath JUST avoided being pushed in!
Joseph: And what's THIS?! It managed to smack Hoarfrost with its dustpan, and Hoarfrost is teetering, but it pulls out!
Richard: And now it has the advantage. That attack left Scarpath's side exposed!
Joseph: And Hoarfrost isn't making a mistake this time. He's got Scarpath on his wedge now, and he's turning, driving him towards the pit, but Scarpath is j-hooking away and...
Richard: Too little too late! Into the pit he goes! Wow that was a close shave.
Joseph: yeah, great match between two quality machines.
Richard: But your winner, by TKO is HOARFROST!
(replays of the match, with Richard and Joseph going over the major parts of the match, and analyzing on what exactly happened)
Joseph: and with that, all four quarterfinals are over and the semis are set!
Richard: And they're looking like really strong matchups: The Monsterworks' tough and deadly saw Osiris up against Team Ignition's lethal tuna-can spinner 'Shroom of Doom and Wedge| vs an even wedgier wedge in the form of Hoarfrost!
Joseph: Yes indeed, looking forward to it!
Richard: me too, so for this week, that about does it. Until next time, I'm Richard Hallberg
Joseph: I'm Joseph B. Harrison, and this is Armageddon!
That concludes this week's matches
(low aerial view of Charlotte, North Carolina, near the Charlotte Convention Center, as the Armageddon! logo fades in)
(shot of the interior of the Charlotte Convention Center, showing the Armageddon! Arena, bleachers filled with people, and the pits behind the arena)
(shot of two caucasian men, one bald with matrix-style sunglasses, and one brown-haired man with short hair and a beard on a stage somewhat like on ABC's battlebots, where they talk about the upcoming battles and competitors)
Richard: Welcome back to ARMAGEDDON! The only robotics show that can ignite the will to fight in the most laziest of couch potatoes. And i'm Richard Hallberg.
Joseph: That's right, Richard, i'm Joseph B. Harrison. Last week, we saw some incredible fights, such as Team Ignition's The 'Shroom of Doom absolutely destroying The British Robotic's Upchuck III.
Richard: And Team Fox's Ducky-Boo sending Team Lone Star's King Cobra flying--and King Cobra taking a stage light down with him!
Joseph: But that's enough recaps for now, we have a special guest star...
Richard: And that is KIRK KIDD OF MEAN GREEN MOTORSPORTS!
(shot to a clean-shaven blonde man in a monster energy drink-sponsored race suit walking up to the stage)
(shot to the stage, Joseph, Richard, and Kirk)
Joseph: What's up Kirk? Huge fan of you. Can i have an autograph?
*Kirk Kidd laughs*
Kirk: Hahahaha, probably not, but at the same time, possibly, but not on camera. We want it to be a surprise, you know?
Joseph: Heh, yeah. Anyway.
Richard: Tonight, we will see The Monsterworks' Osiris fight up against Chaotic Robotics' Deception. Luckily for Chaotic Robotics, their opponent was a no-show, so they had a head-start for them. But unfortunately, they have to fight Osiris.
Kirk: Shame that their opponent was a no-show, I want to see some glorified RC Car fights, baby!
Joseph: Not so fast, we have yet to dive into the history of The Monsterworks and Chaotic Robotics.
(shot to snippets of The Monsterworks and Chaotic Robotics' daily lives, and what they have done, and what has led up to the creation of their bots.)
Kirk: Well, that was kind interesting, but at the same time, not, i'm gettin' antsy over here, lets get into the potatoes and gravy!
Richard: To Kirk Kidd's request, let's do it!
OSIRIS V.S DECEPTION
(shot to near the arena, where Joseph and Richard proceed to interview The Monsterworks, and Chaotic Robotics about their strategies)
(shot to inside the arena, where the two robots are loaded into the arena, and a shot to John Pardo)
John: Ladies, and gentlemen, this is a Armageddon! tournament fight, i am John Pardo, and here is our opponents!
(shot to Osiris)
John: In the Red Square, he's come back from the underworld to seek venegance on his foes! Give it up for, OSIRIS!!
(shot to Deception)
John: In the Blue Square, with his odd shape and spinning blade, he truly is the master of disaster, and the master of... DECEPTION!
(John Pardo, and the teams proceed to exit the arena, shot to the arena buzzer, which proceeds to activate)
(angled shot to above the arena)
Richard: The box is locked, the buzzer sounds, prepare for some Armageddon!
Kirk: Looks like Deception is spinning up it's weapon, but Osiris has charged Deception!
Joseph: No crap, Osiris has wedged the more wider Deception, and that blade, that blade!
Richard: Yeah Joseph, that blade on Deception has completely slowed down to a stop, and Osiris has pressed it's lifter down on Deception.
Kirk: That can't be good for Deception!
Joseph: But Deception has reversed, floors it back into the wall, and has attempted to swing it's chassis around, and spinning it's bar up to speed.
Richard: But Osiris isn't having any of that, he reverses, and charges Deception into the wall, looks like some of the shock from the impact has damaged Deception a bit.
Kirk: Osiris clamps down on Deception, and for Deception, he cant run away because his rear is slammed against that wall.
Joseph: Osiris brings it's clamp and saw down, and proceeds to saw down on Deception.
(shot to Deception)
Richard: Mmmmmmm! Some sweet saw action from Osiris.
Joseph: Wait a minute, what's that i'm seeing?
Kirk: Smoke! It's smoke!
Richard: Looks like Osiris completely cut down Deception's weapon motor, and it's smoking! Yikes!
Joseph: Osiris releases it's weapon, and backs off, a now-disabled Deception coming after, he's smokin', baby!
(camera zooms in on the pit)
Kirk: Oh snap, it's the pit!
Joseph: That's our gun to tell us "our match is halfway over!"
Richard: Osiris turning around and flanking Deception, attempting to push it into the pit.
Joseph: But Deception isn't having that, he flanks Osiris, and attempts to push OSIRIS into the pit! Oh, how the tables have turned.
Kirk: Osiris isn't having that fast one pulled on him, he backs off, and rams Deception into the pit, and that's a match, folks!
Richard: THAT'S MY LINE!
(match over, shot of near the arena, showing John Pardo, The Monsterworks, and Chaotic Robotics)
John: Your winner, by Knockout, and will advance to the semifinals is..
John: OSIRIS!
(replays of the match, with Richard and Joseph going over the major parts of the match, and analyzing on what exactly happened)
Kirk: What a match that was!
Richard: No kidding! Up next is probably quite a deadly match, and Joseph, give it up!
Joseph: And that is Team Ignition's The 'Shroom of Doom going up against Aquatic Robotics' Disaster. Let's get to it!
THE 'SHROOM OF DOOM V.S DISASTER
(shot to near the arena, where Joseph and Richard proceed to interview Team Ignition, and Aquatic Robotics about their strategies)
(shot to inside the arena, where the two robots are loaded into the arena, and a shot to John Pardo)
John: Ladies, and gentlemen, this is a Armageddon! tournament fight, i am John Pardo, and here is our opponents!
(shot to The 'Shroom Of Doom)
John: In the Red Square, he isn't breaking people's legs to get himself legal, no, he breaks people's legs just because he think it's fun! Here is, THE 'SHROOM OF DOOM!
(shot to Disaster)
John: In the Blue Square, this bot's name is a good one-word summarization of the third Matrix movie, and what his opponent will look like after three minutes in the arena, here is, DISASTER!
(John Pardo, and the teams proceed to exit the arena, shot to the arena buzzer, which proceeds to activate)
(angled shot to above the arena)
Richard: The box is locked, the buzzer sounds, prepare for some Armageddon!
Joseph: The 'Shroom of Doom's deadly spinning dome getting up to speed, i said this once i believe--but i don't want to be anywhere near that!
Kirk: No kidding!
Richard: Disaster going up to speed too, this is a classic match, horizontal spinner versus vertical spinner.
Joseph: The two bots getting close to eachother now.
(low shot near the two bots)
Richard: OH DAMN!
Joseph: Yikes! The two bots impact eachother, sending them flying across the arena, The 'Shroom of Doom impacting the wall!
(shot to Disaster)
Kirk: Looks like that impact toppled over Disaster! It's now angled on it's side, a huge gash in it's blade given to it by The 'Shroom of Doom!
Richard: No kidding, Aquatic Robotics' plan of "even if disaster's weapon breaks we can still move" might be out the window. A little bit though.
Joseph: A little?
Richard: You heard me!
Kirk: The 'Shroom Of Doom is up to speed, and is going for the kill!
Joseph: WHOA!
Richard: Whoa--is right! Disaster literally got spiked into the wall by The 'Shroom Of Doom!
Joseph: Like a angered retard without a wrangler in sight, The 'Shroom Of Doom wants more carnage, and destruction! He rams into Disaster once more!
Kirk: Damn!
Richard: Looks like that was the killing blow for Disaster, Aquatic Robotics' team captain working hard at the controller, but Disaster is not responding.
Joseph: Disaster now getting counted out, we have a winner here! The 'Shroom of Doom marches onto the semifinals!
(match over, shot of near the arena, showing John Pardo, Team Ignition, and Aquatic Robotics)
John: Your winner, by Knockout, and will advance to the semifinals is..
John: THE 'SHROOM OF DOOM!
(replays of the match, with Richard and Joseph going over the major parts of the match, and analyzing on what exactly happened)
(commercial break, with some shitty sitcom being advertised, along with some movies--and robotic bastards 2)
WEDGE. VS. DUCKY-BOO
(overhead pan of the Charlotte Convention Centre, music playing)
(shot of Richard and Joseph, camera zooms in)
Richard: welcome back to Armageddon, where we've just finished up our first two quarterfinals.
Joseph: That's right, Richard. We witnessed a real corker between Aquatic Robotics' vertical spinner Disaster and Team Ignition's horizontal spinner the 'Shroom of Doom! What a match it was!
Richard: no doubt about that! Now we'll be moving to the lower half of the bracket, where first up, we have Angry Goat Robotics' tongue-in-cheek entry, Wedge., up against Team Fox's adorable flipper Ducky-Boo.
Joseph: Now, Ducky-Boo may be a favourite with the kids, but it packs a seriously powerful flipper. However, in my mind, the bigger question is whether or not it can do much to an opponent as fast and invertible as Wedge.
Richard: Well, there's only one way to find out! Down to the arena we go!
(shot of a pre-filmed segment, where Joseph and Richard interview the teams about their strategies)
(shot to inside the arena, where the two robots are loaded into the arena, and a shot to John Pardo)
John: Ladies, and gentlemen, this is an Armageddon! tournament fight, I am John Pardo, and here are our opponents!
(shot to Wedge.)
John: It's not just a doorstop. In fact, it has class, sophistication, and taste! That's right! This is a doorstop with a full stop! Introducing...Wedge.!
(shot to Ducky-Boo)
John: Guess what, everybody? It's hunting season, but this duck isn't about to be the hunted again. On no! It's armed, dangerous, and determined to be the hunter this time. It's...Ducky-Boo!
(John Pardo and the teams proceed to exit the arena, shot to the arena buzzer, which proceeds to activate)
(angled shot to above the arena)
Richard: The box is locked, the buzzer sounds, prepare for some Armageddon!
Joseph: And there's Wedge! rocketing out of its square like somebody lit its tail on fire!
Richard: Yes, but Ducky-Boo's making moves of its own. It looks like it's trying to hang out near the wall. As we've seen before, that flipper definitely has the power to toss someone out of the arena.
Joseph: But Wedge, isn't falling for it! You can see the concentration on Gabe Hopp's face as he uses his robot's better speed and control to angle in on that small flipper of of Ducky-Boo.
Richard: Absolutely. Now he's gotten underneath and is pushing Ducky-Boo around at will. It's really not the most exciting stuff, but what else is a Wedge? really going to do?
Joseph: Yeah, it might have been a tactical error on Team Fox's part to not go with the anti-wedge setup. There doesn't really seem to be much he can ----
Richard: OOOHH! He just pulled a Bronco!
Joseph: That was smart! He just used the power of his flipper to buck himself free of Wedge's wedge!
(shot of Ducky-Boo quickly self-righting and spinning away from Wedge: as it charges)
Richard: But there's Wedge; right back on top! He's like a dog with a bone and he's not letting Ducky-Boo go!
Joseph: Ducky-Boo uses the same trick to free itself again, but you've gotta start wondering, at a certain point, how much gas it has in that flipper.
Richard: that's definitely a concern, but at this point, his bigger problem is Wedge}
Joseph: We're past the halfway mark and this one really hasn't been as exciting as we'd hoped.
Richard: Ducky-Boo has been completely outdr----
Joseph: Talk about jinxing it!
(shot to the arena, where Ducky-Boo scores a mighty flip on Wedge$)
Richard: Wow, what was that? A 720?
Joseph: At least! Man, that thing has power.
Richard: That it does. Too bad Wedge# is invertible though.
(shot to the arena, where the pit is decending)
Joseph: Well, now that we've reached the 1:50 mark, things could get a bit interesting. Wedge* has been on top for most of the fight, but Ducky-Boo definitely has the power to fling it into the pit.
Richard: This is definitely still anyone's fight!
(shot to the arena, where Wedge% dodges a flipping attempt from Ducky-Boo and gets around its side)
Joseph: OHH! Talk about the kiss of death! And just like that Wedge+ has pitted Ducky-Boo. Can't say I'm really surprised at that result.
Richard: Yeah, Wedge/ was definitely on top for most of that one. I can't help but wonder what would've happened if Ducky-Boo had chosen a different flipper configuration.
Joseph: Well, there's always next season...
(match over, shot of near the arena, showing John Pardo, Team Fox, and Angry Goat Robotics)
John: Your winner, by Knockout, and will advance to the semifinals is..
John: WEDGE‽!!!!
(replays of the match, with Richard and Joseph going over the major parts of the match, and analyzing on what exactly happened)
(commercial break with some awkward tampon ad, a toy ad, and more Robot Bastards 2)
SCARPATH VS. HOARFROST
(view of the convention center from above. Armageddon logo fades in. Cut to Joseph and Richard sitting in the studio)
Joseph: And we're back at the Charlotte Convention Center, where three of our four quarterfinals are in the books!
Richard: We've had sparks, destruction, some brilliant driving, and...some Wedge.
Joseph: Not exactly our most exciting match of the tournament, that last one.
Richard: Haha, I'll say. Anyway, hoping to redeem wedges everywhere we've got Tartarus Robotics Group's Hoarfrost up next against Alpha Robotics' Scarpath.
Joseph: This should be a good match between two newer, up-and-coming teams. It's hard not to think of them as rivals in a lot of ways.
Richard: and how about the robots themselves?
Joseph: Another wedge up against another saw. Both design types already have a bot locked in to the semis. What I'm wondering is which one is going to get a second in.
Richard: That's a very good question, and I wish I knew the answer. How about we ask the teams?
(interviews with the team captains, build segments, predictions, and prefight talk)
Joseph: Well there you have it, from the builders themselves! There's only one thing left to do:
Richard: That's right, Joe, down to the arena!
(shot to inside the arena, where the two robots are loaded into the arena, and a shot to John Pardo)
John: Ladies, and gentlemen, this is an Armageddon! tournament fight, I am John Pardo, and here are our opponents!
(shot to Scarpath)
John: "Wanna know how I got these scars?" If you ever get close enough to hear this bot ask you, then you're about to find out! Introducing... SCARPATH!
John: Make another 'Winter is Coming' joke. Do it. This robot dares you! Introducing... HOARFROST!
(John Pardo and the teams proceed to exit the arena, shot to the arena buzzer, which proceeds to activate)
(angled shot to above the arena)
Richard: The box is locked, the buzzer sounds, prepare for some Armageddon!
Joseph: WOW! Did you see that?!
Richard: That's some speed!
Joseph: Hoarfrost rocketing out of its starting square and angling in on Scarpath's plow!
Richard: Yeah, but Scarpath isn't taking that lying down. He smacks it with the dustpan and...
Joseph: That did surprisingly little.
Richard: Hoarfrost is surprisingly grippy. It barely budges and manages to get under the corner of Scarpath's dustpan.
Joseph: You ever seen what happens when a bird runs into a pane of glass?
Richard: OUCH!
Joseph: Scarpath tries to wiggle off of Hoarfrost's wedge, but the Tartarus machine adjusts quickly and manages to keep it onto the wedge.
Richard: Into the wall they go!
Joseph: See, now this is when I'm not a big fan of weaponless wedges. What's Hoarfrost gonna do?
Richard: eat up the entire pin time, it looks like.
Joseph: But what's this?! Scarpath is wiggling its saw arm, trying to pry itself loose.
Richard: I think it's found a little traction!
(closeup of the robots, locked in a pushing match)
Joseph: Can. it. do. it?
Richard: Yes! Yes, it's broken free.
Joseph: both of them backing off now and resetting. Hoarfrost looking to avoid head on collisions and use that blazing speed to make sure that it doesn't get caught with the saw.
Richard: definitely a smart move by the driver. As we saw earlier with Osiris, those saws can do some serious damage given enough time.
(camera follows the robots chasing each other around, each trying to angle in)
Joseph: It looks like Hoarfrost has gained the advantage again, and he starts pushing Scarpath towards the wall.
Richard: But...NO! Scarpath j-hooks away and gets around Hoarfrost's side. This could be the opportunity he's been waiting for!
Joseph: Yeah, or not. Hoarfrost turns on the afterburners and gets away, resetting in the middle of the arena even as Scarpath comes charging in.
Richard: And Hoarfrost's wedge wins out again. Scarpath rides right up it.
Joseph: They seem to be kinda...locked together.
Richard: it's quite a pushing match.
(closeup of the two robots slowly zooming out to reveal a cloud of tire smoke surrounding them)
Joseph: It seems like that dustpan of Scarpath is jammed up in the wheels of Hoarfrost.
Richard: Yeah, but Scarpath also seems to be struggling for traction. It's a total stalemate.
Joseph: Looks like we spoke too soon. Hoarfrost has turned a little bit and flanked again.
Richard: but there's Scarpath escaping milliseconds before what would've been a pretty nice slam!
Joseph: and now it darts in and brings the saw down on Hoarfrost! This could be a game changer!
(shot of the damage being caused. Sparks flying)
Richard: Not if Hoarfrost has anything to do with it! He's gettin' the hell outta Dodge!
Joseph: Not without a scar on his pretty white paint, though. His speed has saved him twice in this match now. It's really hard to get a long-term grip on something that fast.
(shot of the pit lowering)
Richard: Definitely, and now that we're at the 1:50 mark, it's a whole new ballgame.
Joseph: Hoarfrost is dialing up the aggression now, and they're playing a game of brinkmanship around the pit.
Richard: OH, and Scarpath JUST avoided being pushed in!
Joseph: And what's THIS?! It managed to smack Hoarfrost with its dustpan, and Hoarfrost is teetering, but it pulls out!
Richard: And now it has the advantage. That attack left Scarpath's side exposed!
Joseph: And Hoarfrost isn't making a mistake this time. He's got Scarpath on his wedge now, and he's turning, driving him towards the pit, but Scarpath is j-hooking away and...
Richard: Too little too late! Into the pit he goes! Wow that was a close shave.
Joseph: yeah, great match between two quality machines.
Richard: But your winner, by TKO is HOARFROST!
(replays of the match, with Richard and Joseph going over the major parts of the match, and analyzing on what exactly happened)
Joseph: and with that, all four quarterfinals are over and the semis are set!
Richard: And they're looking like really strong matchups: The Monsterworks' tough and deadly saw Osiris up against Team Ignition's lethal tuna-can spinner 'Shroom of Doom and Wedge| vs an even wedgier wedge in the form of Hoarfrost!
Joseph: Yes indeed, looking forward to it!
Richard: me too, so for this week, that about does it. Until next time, I'm Richard Hallberg
Joseph: I'm Joseph B. Harrison, and this is Armageddon!
That concludes this week's matches
Last edited by winternimbus on Sat Apr 29, 2017 2:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
winter! she/they/it pronouns, trans rights babey!
ROBOT FIGHT NIGHT: MINI
Break Dash - 1-1
Neophyte Redglare - 1-1
Neophyte Redglare - Robot Fight Night: Season 1 Quarter-Finals, Cherry Bomb Classic 3 Quarter-Finals
America Offline - Robot Fight Night: Season 1 Quarter-Finals
"I'm curious what tactical advantage you're hoping to gain by sacrificing a portion of your bots size/weight for a deployable banana"
-NWOWWE, 2017
-
The Monsterworks
- Posts: 1308
- Joined: Thu May 26, 2016 12:00 am
- Location: Canada, for now
- Team: The Monsterworks
Armageddon! - Results
Okay, so we've kicked those other goons out and stopped pretending that this is some kind of fucking TV show It isn't. We're not famous. None us will ever be famous. Most people on TV are tools. Deal with it.
<hr />
Osiris vs Shroom of Doom - Madman
The long and short of it is that Osiris comes out fast as fuck, box rushes like a boss, and slams into Shroom of Doom before it's completely spun up. Yes, Shroom of Doom can hit it. Your bot isn't that low, Alex.
Anyways, Osiris skids away, Shroom hits a wall and pinballs around. Osiris zips up in its grill, wedges it, and flips. That's all she wrote for this one. GG on Dylan for making the semis with a fucking tuna can spinner. Legendary.
Osiris wins by KO at 0:34
Hoarfrost vs. Wedge. - The Monsterworks
This match features a cheese wedge. The cheese wedge is fighting a cheese wedge that has been left in the freezer for too long and has freezer-burn. The two wedges butt heads in a dominance contest, vying for the attention of the female. The frozen wedge gains leverage by forcing its way underneath. However, it is young and inexperienced, and despite its advantage, it finds itself being pushed back by its lustrously red-pink-orange coated adversary. It is forced to retreat from the confrontation, but it charges, aiming for the side of its opponent. There is much jockeying for position, and loud <del>booing</del> braying noises.
The wedges circle each other. Finally, the frozen wedge again gains an advantage. It pushes, but the lustrous wedge is able to dig in with its <del>wheel</del> hooves that remain on the ground and pivot into the side of its opponent. The contest of strength continues. The wedges lock horns, neither willing to give ground. The female voices her approval.
Before long, the frozen wedge, audacious yearling that he is, employs a new tactic. He runs around unpredictably, perhaps attempting to impress the <del>crowd</del> female without locking horns. He darts in at the lustrous wedge and lands a staggering blow. The lustrous wedge, older and stronger, attempts to respond, but lacks the speed to do so. The frozen wedge charges again and again, but before long, it becomes apparent that the blows he's landing are only glancing. The power of the lustrous wedge dominates the center of their chosen battlefield, and the frozen wedge is cowed whenever they go head to head.
<del>The pit</del> a great chasm opens and the lustrous wedge, wiser than the yearling, seems keen to avoid this new hazard. However, the frozen wedge seems equally keen to attempt to maneuver the contest in that direction, perhaps relying on his surer footing to provide him with the edge he so desperately needs.
The <del>audience</del> female grows restless.
The lustrous wedge refuses to engage near the hazard, and the frozen wedge persists in its rather ineffective darting attacks until the <del>poor, suffering spectators have</del> female has watched them for long enough. <del>The buzzer sounds</del> She stamps her feet, signalling that <del>the match is over and we're going to the judges!</del> she is prepared to make a decision.
Aggression: 3-2 Wedge.
Damage: 3-2 Hoarfrost
Control: 3-2 Wedge.
The <del>judges have</del> female has decided in favour of <del>Wedge.</del> the lustrous wedge, and immediately attempts to mate with him.
<hr />
Osiris vs Shroom of Doom - Madman
The long and short of it is that Osiris comes out fast as fuck, box rushes like a boss, and slams into Shroom of Doom before it's completely spun up. Yes, Shroom of Doom can hit it. Your bot isn't that low, Alex.
Anyways, Osiris skids away, Shroom hits a wall and pinballs around. Osiris zips up in its grill, wedges it, and flips. That's all she wrote for this one. GG on Dylan for making the semis with a fucking tuna can spinner. Legendary.
Osiris wins by KO at 0:34
Hoarfrost vs. Wedge. - The Monsterworks
This match features a cheese wedge. The cheese wedge is fighting a cheese wedge that has been left in the freezer for too long and has freezer-burn. The two wedges butt heads in a dominance contest, vying for the attention of the female. The frozen wedge gains leverage by forcing its way underneath. However, it is young and inexperienced, and despite its advantage, it finds itself being pushed back by its lustrously red-pink-orange coated adversary. It is forced to retreat from the confrontation, but it charges, aiming for the side of its opponent. There is much jockeying for position, and loud <del>booing</del> braying noises.
The wedges circle each other. Finally, the frozen wedge again gains an advantage. It pushes, but the lustrous wedge is able to dig in with its <del>wheel</del> hooves that remain on the ground and pivot into the side of its opponent. The contest of strength continues. The wedges lock horns, neither willing to give ground. The female voices her approval.
Before long, the frozen wedge, audacious yearling that he is, employs a new tactic. He runs around unpredictably, perhaps attempting to impress the <del>crowd</del> female without locking horns. He darts in at the lustrous wedge and lands a staggering blow. The lustrous wedge, older and stronger, attempts to respond, but lacks the speed to do so. The frozen wedge charges again and again, but before long, it becomes apparent that the blows he's landing are only glancing. The power of the lustrous wedge dominates the center of their chosen battlefield, and the frozen wedge is cowed whenever they go head to head.
<del>The pit</del> a great chasm opens and the lustrous wedge, wiser than the yearling, seems keen to avoid this new hazard. However, the frozen wedge seems equally keen to attempt to maneuver the contest in that direction, perhaps relying on his surer footing to provide him with the edge he so desperately needs.
The <del>audience</del> female grows restless.
The lustrous wedge refuses to engage near the hazard, and the frozen wedge persists in its rather ineffective darting attacks until the <del>poor, suffering spectators have</del> female has watched them for long enough. <del>The buzzer sounds</del> She stamps her feet, signalling that <del>the match is over and we're going to the judges!</del> she is prepared to make a decision.
Aggression: 3-2 Wedge.
Damage: 3-2 Hoarfrost
Control: 3-2 Wedge.
The <del>judges have</del> female has decided in favour of <del>Wedge.</del> the lustrous wedge, and immediately attempts to mate with him.
Mastodon... Extinction (HW)
Osiris... Armageddon! (MW)
Elrathia... ROBOTS (LW)
Magnolia Pico... Ruination 4 (MW)
RipTide... ROBOT2 (FW)
Black Diamond... Cherry Bomb Classic 3 (HW)
MADSCIENCE... ROBOTS 3 (LW)
Abyss... ROBOTS 3 (MW)
The Monsterworks: 214-57 (.790) ...Probably up to no good.
Osiris... Armageddon! (MW)
Elrathia... ROBOTS (LW)
Magnolia Pico... Ruination 4 (MW)
RipTide... ROBOT2 (FW)
Black Diamond... Cherry Bomb Classic 3 (HW)
MADSCIENCE... ROBOTS 3 (LW)
Abyss... ROBOTS 3 (MW)
The Monsterworks: 214-57 (.790) ...Probably up to no good.
Cherry Bomb Classic IV: 25-4
Finishing Move: 6-2
Magnolia Pico: 6-1
Magnolia Grande: 6-1
Glacier III: 7-0
Magnolia Pico: 6-1
Magnolia Grande: 6-1
Glacier III: 7-0
ROBOTS 3: 21-6
Sixpounder: 3-4
MADSCIENCE: 9-1 Champion!
Abyss: 9-1 Champion!
MADSCIENCE: 9-1 Champion!
Abyss: 9-1 Champion!
-
winternimbus
- Posts: 462
- Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm
- Location: Rochester, New York
- Team: Team Foxtrot Uniform
Armageddon! - Results
Alright, not doing the TV show host thing, <del>but it looks like our competitors have gone AWOL and went off to Hawaii or something. FF fights, go!</del>
Due to people clarifying that "syl, you should've warned the competitors about the finals, and having a double FF isn't cool" to me on the ARC discord, we are getting proper finals and a third-place match.
--
WEDGE. V.S OSIRIS
Righty then, finals time it is. The two bots box rush eachother, Wedge. with it's 2WD, and Osiris, starting out with it's raised lifter. For the most part, it isn't really all that exciting, as it is mainly a pushing match in Wedge.'s favor, with some angling in between the two bots. Osiris gets a fairly decent clamp in here and there, with some awesome patented Clamping-Saw-Action! <small><small>(patent actually pending)</small></small>.
While the most of the match has been in Wedge.'s favor, by actually doing some decent ram damage to Osiris, but Osiris catches Wedge. doing shenanigans, trying to lure him onto the Wedge. of Wedge. Osiris rams Wedge. and snaps his lifter down.
And that's when the pit comes down.
You know whenever you fight EMERGENCY or any other big annoying pushy bot in Robot Arena 2, and how annoying and repetitive it gets? This is basically the ARC version of this match. Osiris got Wedge. at a somewhat odd angle, where one of Wedge.'s wheels is touching the ground, and can actually somewhat steer Osiris away from the pit. Yeah, it's going to be like this mostly for the rest of the match. That is, until Wedge brakes free of Osiris's lifter, with a pretty nasty gash in it's backside.
The match promptly returns to Wedge.'s favor for the rest of the match, and it then returns to another boring pushing match.
The buzzer sounds, and we're off to the judges!
AGGRESSION: 7-4 Wedge.
CONTROL: 6-4 Osiris
DAMAGE: 6-4 Osiris
Osiris wins on a 16-15 judges decision! That's a close one y'all. Alex walks home with the cash prize and a giant nut, and Wedge. returns home to the House Of Wedge., where it will return to it's loving wife Annoying Box Rush.
--
THE 'SHROOM OF DOOM V.S HOARFROST
To quote Gabe, "low effort RP's get a low effort result."
The 'Shroom Of Doom spins to win as it does pretty devastating damage to Hoarfrost, mangling it's front wedge. Hoarfrost remains aggressive, trying the best it can to deflect The 'Shroom Of Doom's spinner, but corner damage is a nasty maiden, and it basically has 8 armor outside of it's white part of it's wedge--and ends up getting one of it's wheels torn off by The 'Shroom Of Doom and it's gnarly 15-power spinner. Hoarfrost spins around the arena while it meets it maker via The 'Shroom Of Doom, and Hoarfrost eventually gets counted out.
Laz promptly proceeds to shout "EAT A DICK!" to Dylan as the buzzer sounds.
The 'Shroom Of Doom wins by KO.
Due to people clarifying that "syl, you should've warned the competitors about the finals, and having a double FF isn't cool" to me on the ARC discord, we are getting proper finals and a third-place match.
--
WEDGE. V.S OSIRIS
Righty then, finals time it is. The two bots box rush eachother, Wedge. with it's 2WD, and Osiris, starting out with it's raised lifter. For the most part, it isn't really all that exciting, as it is mainly a pushing match in Wedge.'s favor, with some angling in between the two bots. Osiris gets a fairly decent clamp in here and there, with some awesome patented Clamping-Saw-Action! <small><small>(patent actually pending)</small></small>.
While the most of the match has been in Wedge.'s favor, by actually doing some decent ram damage to Osiris, but Osiris catches Wedge. doing shenanigans, trying to lure him onto the Wedge. of Wedge. Osiris rams Wedge. and snaps his lifter down.
And that's when the pit comes down.
You know whenever you fight EMERGENCY or any other big annoying pushy bot in Robot Arena 2, and how annoying and repetitive it gets? This is basically the ARC version of this match. Osiris got Wedge. at a somewhat odd angle, where one of Wedge.'s wheels is touching the ground, and can actually somewhat steer Osiris away from the pit. Yeah, it's going to be like this mostly for the rest of the match. That is, until Wedge brakes free of Osiris's lifter, with a pretty nasty gash in it's backside.
The match promptly returns to Wedge.'s favor for the rest of the match, and it then returns to another boring pushing match.
The buzzer sounds, and we're off to the judges!
AGGRESSION: 7-4 Wedge.
CONTROL: 6-4 Osiris
DAMAGE: 6-4 Osiris
Osiris wins on a 16-15 judges decision! That's a close one y'all. Alex walks home with the cash prize and a giant nut, and Wedge. returns home to the House Of Wedge., where it will return to it's loving wife Annoying Box Rush.
--
THE 'SHROOM OF DOOM V.S HOARFROST
To quote Gabe, "low effort RP's get a low effort result."
The 'Shroom Of Doom spins to win as it does pretty devastating damage to Hoarfrost, mangling it's front wedge. Hoarfrost remains aggressive, trying the best it can to deflect The 'Shroom Of Doom's spinner, but corner damage is a nasty maiden, and it basically has 8 armor outside of it's white part of it's wedge--and ends up getting one of it's wheels torn off by The 'Shroom Of Doom and it's gnarly 15-power spinner. Hoarfrost spins around the arena while it meets it maker via The 'Shroom Of Doom, and Hoarfrost eventually gets counted out.
Laz promptly proceeds to shout "EAT A DICK!" to Dylan as the buzzer sounds.
The 'Shroom Of Doom wins by KO.
Last edited by winternimbus on Sun Aug 06, 2017 4:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
winter! she/they/it pronouns, trans rights babey!
ROBOT FIGHT NIGHT: MINI
Break Dash - 1-1
Neophyte Redglare - 1-1
Neophyte Redglare - Robot Fight Night: Season 1 Quarter-Finals, Cherry Bomb Classic 3 Quarter-Finals
America Offline - Robot Fight Night: Season 1 Quarter-Finals
"I'm curious what tactical advantage you're hoping to gain by sacrificing a portion of your bots size/weight for a deployable banana"
-NWOWWE, 2017