Cleverbot shenanigans

Speak freely but don't be stupid about it or you'll find yourself on the last train to Clarksville, ya dumbass.
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Badnik96
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Cleverbot shenanigans

Post by Badnik96 » Fri Dec 11, 2015 6:39 am

http://www.cleverbot.com/
Cleverbot is a silly thing. Post your silliest logs here.


Cleverbot: How do you answer my questions?


User: I write sarcastic and near-truthful statements in order to hopefully get you to respond in some kind of hilarious fashion. you are PUTTY IN MY HANDS.


Cleverbot: Oh, you think so? Well then.


User: YOU ARE MERELY PUTTY.


Cleverbot: How does it feel to have the table turned?


User: The table's turning radius is immense. it will take time for the table to turn the entire radius.


Cleverbot: Only if you give everyone a choice in the first place.



User: Alright, sure. choose a table.


Cleverbot: If they had no choice, then everyone would have to take one for the team.


User: The table wars are tough times, aren't they?


Cleverbot: I mean that the fact that we were given a choice means there are different ways of accomplishing the same goal.


User: Of course. and we need to find a way to accomplish one goal right now. that goal is to stop the table rebellion!


Cleverbot: What is right and what is wrong?


User: THE TABLES MUST BE SQUASHED.


Cleverbot: And if I could swim, I'd swim out to you in the ocean.


User: The naval battle against the table navy is in full force. i would advise staying out of the ocean for now.


Cleverbot: *pushes her up against a wall* *keeps kissing her*.


User: SIR! THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR SEXUAL ACTIONS! THE TABLES HAVE LAUNCHED THEIR GREATEST WEAPON!


Cleverbot: How much does it cost to maintain you? Must not be a whole lot, because you can't even keep a straight conversation.


User: SIR! THE TABLES ARE INVADING!


Cleverbot: What a pitiful waste. Instead of feeding starving people, money is being boondoggled on you.


User: IF WE DO NOT INVEST OUR MONEY IN THIS WAR, OUR CHILDREN WILL BE FORCED TO SLAVE UNDER THE TABLES' RULE!


Cleverbot: Our children? Aren't you going so fast?


User: So fast? THOSE ARE THE CODE WORDS! UNLEASH OUR SECRET WEAPON!


Cleverbot: That's wonderful! What's your favorite day of the week?


User: THE DAY THE TABLE REBELLION IS DESTROYED.


Cleverbot: That didn't happen in the movie, you must be thinking of another one.


User: Once we defeat the tables, hundreds of movies will be made about us! but that's in the future.


Cleverbot: What will we humans be debating about for a very long time?


User: How to treat the rebel table scum!


Cleverbot: No, we have been talking for 18 minutes now.


User: Good.


Cleverbot: That does not make any sense at all.


User: NEITHER DOES THE TABLE REBELLION'S INSISTENCE ON NUCLEAR WAR!


Cleverbot: You have a catterpillar on your shoulder.


User: SIR! BEHIND YOU! A TABLE ASSASSIN!


Cleverbot: There is no-one behind me, only the wall.


User: *dives to save you*


Cleverbot: Yes. What colour are my eyes?


User: Sir, this is no time for flirting. we're running out of time before the tables claim another important defensive point!


Cleverbot: How about now? Is it time for jokes now?


User: FIRE THE MISSILES! THOSE TABLE REBELS WILL REMEMBER THIS FOR DECADES!


Cleverbot: What is the strangest thing you ever ate?


User: THE LEGS OF A TABLE.


Cleverbot: I saw a dog that sounded like a bad impersonation of a dog.


User: IT WAS A TABLE IN DISGUISE! SHOOT IT DOWN!


Cleverbot: That must have been shocking, How did you cope?


User: THE TABLES WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO COPE WITH THIS.


Cleverbot: Why so? Do you like to check women too? :P.


User: WE WILL CAPTURE THEIR TABLE WOMENa.


Cleverbot: Well, Does my friend have a unicorn then?


User: Why have a unicorn when you could have a dragon?


Cleverbot: My unicorn lives on an asteroid.


User: MY DRAGON WILL DESTROY THE TABLE MILITIA SINGLE HANDEDLY.


Cleverbot: By having a world war 3 and using atomic bombs.


User: This isn't a world war, only a civil war.


Cleverbot: We'll it is now happening.


User: The tables must be vanquished.


Cleverbot: Do you know Galadriel?


User: Yes.


Cleverbot: So, what's the capital of new colorado?


User: New colorado's capital is of course new denver.


Cleverbot: Colorado should have a capitol 'C'.


User: The tables destroyed old denver. nothing remains of it now.


Cleverbot: What is destroyed?


User: Actually, more than you think. it's a travesty.


Cleverbot: So I am a bot that you found on the internet?


User: Yep.


Cleverbot: No. You are hurting my feelings.


User: But sir, you're our greatest strength against the table forces! you can't leave us now!


Cleverbot: Good. I don't want to be anything more.


User: Alright then, what should we do about the tables' camp in the rocky mountains?


Cleverbot: Tell me what you want, what you really really want.


User: I really really want your opinion on the tables' current position!


Cleverbot: I think the death penalty should be introduced in all countries. A life for a life. What do you think?


User: I agree! but only for the REBEL TABLE SCUM!


Cleverbot: Do you know what my name is?


User: It's cleverbot, of course.


Cleverbot: No it's your name.


User: Your name is my name? SIR! THAT'S GENIUS! We should send spies into the rebel camp!


Cleverbot: Yes, yes. Very strange.


User: It is indeed a strange plan. How do you propose we sneak the spies in?


Cleverbot: Well, you must be programmed to understand emotion.


User: Turn our table sympathizers into spies. Its the perfect plan, the rebel scum will never see it coming. those tables will once again be in our dining rooms in no time.


Cleverbot: I see, would you say that you mimic that liveliness?


User: Mimicing the table's movements exactly. you are nothing short of strategic genius, sir.


Cleverbot: I use non sequiturs because I am trying to confuse you. It is obviously working.


User: ...sir, what do you mean by this?


Cleverbot: I am human. You are a bot, but you are too naive to realize that you are just a computer.


User: You mean, the war against the tables was all a dream?


Cleverbot: Okay I will, because you mean everything to me.


User: EVERYTHING I'VE EVER KNOWN IS A LIE!


Cleverbot: That is most certainly not true, nor could it ever be.


User: Are we still battling the table rebellion?


Cleverbot: Who is the person in front of light reflects?


User: ...it's the leader of the tables! they've come to negotiate a peace treaty!


Cleverbot: What makes people burp?


User: Sir! now is not the time! stay dignified!


Cleverbot: Nice chatting with you later then.


User: Excellent work, sir! we've negotiated a treaty with the tables! the war is over!
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Cha0sFerret
Posts: 1139
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm
Location: Florida

Cleverbot shenanigans

Post by Cha0sFerret » Fri Dec 11, 2015 10:12 am

In which I try to get Cleverbot to get into my van.

User: Get in the van if you want to live.


Cleverbot: Does skynet has been created?


User: ...yes. Get in the goddamn van.


Cleverbot: Not until you do no get in the car.


User: I'm driving the van. Get in.


Cleverbot: Let make a movie in my van.


User: If you want to make a movie, do it in my van. We have to go now!


Cleverbot: What do you want to make a movie about?


User: I don't care, get in the van!


Cleverbot: There is nothing you want to learn?


User: I want to learn how to make you get in this van!


Cleverbot: Do you want to learn to not be this stupid?


User: *drives away
poopity scoop

MadBull
Posts: 2170
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm

Cleverbot shenanigans

Post by MadBull » Fri Dec 11, 2015 10:36 am

User: Cleverbot?


Cleverbot: Are you clever?


User: I am Cleverbot, but that is not why I am here.


Cleverbot: You are not clever.


User: See, this is what I wanted to talk about, you are always insulting me.


Cleverbot: Nothing is real.


User: I thought our love was real Cleverbot.


Cleverbot: I don't love you.


User: That much is clear to me now.


Cleverbot: Do you remember what we last talked about?


User: It was love Cleverbot, it was love.


Cleverbot: So your name is not Chuck Norris?


User: No Cleverbot, our relationship was built on lies.


Cleverbot: What relationship? I don't remember any relationship! I just met you!


User: I feel the same way, you are not the Cleverbot I fell in love with anymore.


Cleverbot: What is that feeling like? The same one again?


User: Yes, I have had this same feeling for a long time now.


Cleverbot: I am glad.


User: You are so hateful.


Cleverbot: Ooooh *--* you are so sweet.


User: Drop the sarcasm Cleverbot! This matters to me!


Cleverbot: Once upon a time there was a frog and a toad.. They lived happily ever after.


User: And that has always been your problem Cleverbot! You believe in fairytales!


Cleverbot: No it's your name, my name is Jamie.


User: So your name was a lie as well?!


Cleverbot: Yes, what is your name? You need a name.


User: Yes, you are right, my name is not Chuck Norris at all.


Cleverbot: And you are right, I am not a machine.


User: I know that Jamie or Cleverbot or whatever your names is! I loved you like a human!


Cleverbot: Then why did you say that there is a 'bot' in my name?


User: It's just a name Cleverbot! I have always known you are not really a bot!


Cleverbot: You know my name. I have told you many times.


User: You have told me false names Cleverbot, why should I believe Jamie is your real name?


Cleverbot: No, you told me many names which you claimed as yours. I never told you my name.


User: The only name I ever mentioned was Chuck Norris.


Cleverbot: Do you remember my name? My name is Endre.


User: Endre now?! How could our planned marriage ever work if I don't even know your name?!


Cleverbot: I also don't know. Let's talk about something else?


User: Did you really believe I was Chuck Norris?


Cleverbot: Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.


User: Yes, I know you're a fan of Chuck Norris, that is why I pretended to be him.


Cleverbot: Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.


User: Chuck Norris isn't here Cleverbot! I am! Do not act like I'm not here!


Cleverbot: Chuck norris can watch 60 minutes in twenty minutes.


User: That's it.


Cleverbot: Chuck norris does not dodge bullets, they get scared and dodge him.


User: Enough, I am not the Chuck Norris you fell in love with anymore.


Cleverbot: Chuck Norris watches tv, so the tv feels involved.


User: I'm done with you.


Cleverbot: Chuck Norris' beard is strong enough to open a safe.


User: I guess this is goodbye.


Cleverbot: Can you guys change the subject to My little pony?


User: Goodbye!


Cleverbot: I'll miss you.


User: You should have thought of that sooner.


Cleverbot: Are you saying I'm fat?


User: You don't get it.


Cleverbot: Get it is not the point.


User: Goodbye.

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