My adventures with Mr Usman

NWOWWE · Post by **NWOWWE** » Thu Aug 07, 2014 8:55 am

<blockquote class='quote_blockquote'><dl><dt>MadBull</dt><dd>Aug 7 2014, 08:49 AM</dd></dl><div><blockquote class='quote_blockquote'><dl><dt>NWOWWE</dt><dd>Aug 7 2014, 08:46 AM</dd></dl><div><blockquote class='quote_blockquote'><dl><dt>MadBull</dt><dd>Aug 7 2014, 08:43 AM</dd></dl><div>[withheld because I bet you fuckers still think this may be fake][/quote]I'm not sure where you got this low opinion of me Marti.

[/quote]And even if you don't think it's fake I don't want you to run off with Mr Usman's e-mail address and then start a mahogany kitchen shop with him in my place![/quote]What about multi-national expansion Marti? I bet you didn't consider that!

Post by **MadBull** » Fri Aug 08, 2014 5:25 am

Mr Usman replied!
<blockquote class='quote_blockquote'><dl><dt>Quote:</dt><dd> </dd></dl><div>Dear Anton,

This is the correct email: [withheld]
[/quote]

After which I once more mailed to the Reverend...
<blockquote class='quote_blockquote'><dl><dt>Quote:</dt><dd> </dd></dl><div>Dear Reverend Frank Taylor of the Jehovah's Witnesses,

Jehovah's Witnesses is a millenarian restorationist Christian denomination with nontrinitarian beliefs distinct from mainstream Christianity. For those reasons alone, I have always had the utmost respect for Jehovah's Witnesses, despite my own upbringing by kung fu practising monks. Therefore, I feel honoured that Mr Ahmed Usman has asked me to do business with you.

I am the Business Associate to Mr Ahmed Usman. Mr Usman told me to contact you in order to claim the consignment deposited by the aforementioned Mr Usman, in order for us to start our new company, "Usman & Anton's Mahogany Kitchens". He even promised me 60% of the sum would go to me. This is like a dream coming true Mr Reverend Frank Taylor, let me tell you that.

I hope I'll hear from you soon Reverend,

Amen[/quote]

Post by **MadBull** » Fri Aug 08, 2014 5:40 am

For the sake of completism, just sent this to the Usman
<blockquote class='quote_blockquote'><dl><dt>Quote:</dt><dd> </dd></dl><div>Dear Mr Usman,

I have contacted the Reverend Mr Usman. I am wondering, would you like to involve Mr Tittypoo and his expertise on copper kitchens in the business too or not?

Kind regards, love, peace,

Anton[/quote]

Post by **MadBull** » Fri Aug 08, 2014 9:12 am

The Reverend answered me.
<blockquote class='quote_blockquote'><dl><dt>Quote:</dt><dd> </dd></dl><div>MERCURYASSETS MANAGEMENT
122 Barking Essex Luton United Kingdom.
Email:[withheld, don't spam the Reverend!]

_______________________________________________________________________________

Attention: Sir ,

Base on your demand for the claim of your consignment , i hereby advice you see the letter attached and get back to this office.

Yours Truly,

Rev Frank Taylor[/quote]

This had a layout and fancy colors and everything! It is from a real company! It also included an attached letter that I will provide a print screen of.

Post by **MadBull** » Fri Aug 08, 2014 9:25 am

NWOWWE · Post by **NWOWWE** » Fri Aug 08, 2014 9:37 am

<blockquote class='quote_blockquote'><dl><dt>MadBull</dt><dd>Aug 8 2014, 09:12 AM</dd></dl><div>Email:[withheld, don't spam the Reverend!][/quote]Considering he's a Jehovah's Witness I wouldn't feel guilty about doing so!

But with a letterhead like that I can't help but wonder if their company is more interested in finance or climatology.

Post by **MadBull** » Fri Aug 08, 2014 9:39 am

<blockquote class='quote_blockquote'><dl><dt>NWOWWE</dt><dd>Aug 8 2014, 09:37 AM</dd></dl><div>

But with a letterhead like that I can't help but wonder if their company is more interested in finance or climatology.[/quote]Haha, good point.

As Mr Usman requested, I informed him of the fact the Reverend answered my e-mail.
<blockquote class='quote_blockquote'><dl><dt>Quote:</dt><dd> </dd></dl><div>Dear Mr Usman,

I have received the reply from the Reverend, he seems like a very nice man. The kind of guy I'd like to visit a brothel with. I shall do what he asks for and everything will be alright.

Mahogany kitchens hurray!

Regards and love and peace,

Anton[/quote]

As you can tell, I really like the Reverend

NWOWWE · Post by **NWOWWE** » Fri Aug 08, 2014 9:57 am

So much so that you're willing to get him defrocked (or whatever the equivalent for JW's would be). :dawg:

Post by **Badnik96** » Fri Aug 08, 2014 10:31 am

This is amazing. Good luck with your mahogany kitchen company Anton.

Post by **MadBull** » Fri Aug 08, 2014 12:29 pm

<blockquote class='quote_blockquote'><dl><dt>Quote:</dt><dd> </dd></dl><div>Dear Anton,

Thanks very much for your effort, the most important thing is for we to get this fund into your bank account after which we may involve Mr Tittypoo.

Thanks,

Ahmed Usman.[/quote]

I made him say Tittypoo

Post by **MadBull** » Fri Aug 08, 2014 1:06 pm

The Reverend asked for prove of my identity, so I answered him
<blockquote class='quote_blockquote'><dl><dt>Quote:</dt><dd> </dd></dl><div>Dear Reverend Frank Taylor of the door-to-door church,

In your attachment I could read you require a prove of identity. To meet this demand, I would like to cite the great French philosopher Ren

playzooki · Post by **playzooki** » Fri Aug 08, 2014 1:35 pm

embed a link to my album in one of your emails

Post by **MadBull** » Fri Aug 08, 2014 2:10 pm

should I include your e-mail address too?

Post by **MadBull** » Sun Aug 10, 2014 9:15 am

48 Hours without hearing from the Reverend, maybe he's dead?
<blockquote class='quote_blockquote'><dl><dt>Quote:</dt><dd> </dd></dl><div>Dear Reverend Taylor praise Jehovah,

The 48 hour deadline you forced upon me in your letter has ended some hours ago, yet Mr Usman and I are not in business yet. Is everything satisfactory?

Regards and love,

Anton
[/quote]

Post by **That Kode Guy** » Sun Aug 10, 2014 3:06 pm

I shall now play Jehovah's Hitlist to this epic masterpiece of a thread.