Teresa vs. Jupiter 2 P

[That Kode Guy]

(re-write)

Kody: I must say, well DONE for your victory over Jack Frost last week.

Teresa: Oh... um, thank you.

*a snowman some distance away is holding up one branch arm, with the end of it in the shape of a middle finger*

Teresa: How rude.

Kody: Don't worry, I got this. *radios someone in* Yo, could I have some assistance, please?

Josh: *on the other end* Haha... after this week? Screw you, dude. :P

Kody: Hmm. *hangs up* How rude indeed.

*Kody takes out a Super Scope and fires a charged shot at the snowman, blowing it up and sending the head (partially melted already) into a chimney*

Teresa: That was uncalled for.

Kody: Sometimes violence works. Anyway, you're up against something called Jupiter 2 P.

Teresa: Wh-WHAT?! I-I have to fight a PLANET?!?!

Kody: NO! That's the robot's name. Really now...

Teresa: Sorry, carried away.

Kody: Well anyway - hang on.

*Kody fires another charged shot at Lian on a building nearby; he drops his sniper rifle and goes flying with a yell*

Lian: DAMN YOU WEE TITTY NUUUUUN... *crash* Hey a nickel!

Teresa: Ex-cuse me?

Kody: Don't mind them, they're just foaming at the mouth that you're 19-0 lifetime. And soon to be 20-0! Now let's take a look at Jupiter 2 P.

*Kody pulls down a projection screen, and a projector turns on and displays an image of Jupiter 2 P*

Teresa: How alien.

Kody: Indeed. We'll let's see.

*stats appear on the bottom-left corner of the image*

Kody: More speed, less traction, more torque, much less wedge, bit more weapon, and so-so armour.

Teresa: So what does that mean?

Kody: Nothing yet. So what can you tell me about the design?

*Teresa takes out a miniscule pair of spectacles and peers at the design*

Kody: ...what.

Teresa: It's very edgy.

Kody: And?

Teresa: Spiky.

Kody: ... AND?

Teresa: ...red and purple.

Kody: AUUUGH. YOU CAN FLIP IT OVER! It can't self-right!

Teresa: Really?

Kody: YES REALLY! It'll struggle like a newborn tortoise on its back!

Teresa: I didn't realize. Very well. Um, what is with the spikes?

Kody: Uh, they point directly into the ground, pretty much.

Teresa: I would want to avoid that, wouldn't I?

Kody: In a manner of speaking, but I guess it wouldn't matter if you can throw him onto his back.

Teresa: I want my scoop.

Kody: An admirable suggestion. ...HEY!

*Kody whips a butter knife at Teresa*

Teresa: WHA - *ducks; it hits an invisible figure behind her, who uncloaks*

Kody: Nice try, Badnik.

Dylan McC: *takes the butter knife out of his neck* Hmm. No wonder I never play as Spy. *collapse* Urk.

Teresa: I'm scared...

Kody: Well never mind that. Do you see any other advantages?

Teresa: *peers again* ...I think I'm better controlled.

Kody: Well that's a given.

Kite: *nearby* Help! This madman is trying to kill me!

Zombie Killer: Die!

Kody: No. *turns back to Teresa* So I think that's it.

Teresa: So am I destined to be forever hated...?

Nick Schuch: *puts on shades* By most people.

Kody: Oh. What do you want?

Nick S: I just went to visit Josh.

Kody: And how did that go?

Nick S: Well I brought up Curse of the Deep and the entire place exploded.

Kody: Interesting.

Teresa: ...may I go now?

Alex MW: Titty nun.

Teresa: Stop calling me that!

Kody: Alright I'm ending this. There's far too much filler anyway.

Nick Fisher: May I offer you a humbug?

Kody: Yes please. Mmm, minty fresh.

----

Rob Collins: *dots in journal* today... December 10th... 2013... now, how else do I begin...

*suddenly Martijn cameos in out of nowhere and puts him out of commission with a Cloth doused in chloroform...or is it really Martijn?! find out next time!*