Aristocrats vs. MyHandsAreAbandonedFactoriesManu-

[succotash_54]

A man walks into a talent agent's office with his wife, son, and daughter. The agent asks, "What can I do for you?"

The father replies, "We're a family act, and we'd like you to represent us!"

The agent says, "No way. Family acts are old-fashioned. Nobody wants to see them anymore."

"They'll want to see us," the father says confidently.

The agent eyes them carefully, and quietly says, "Ok, I'm watching and listening. What's the act?"

The father and son go to opposite ends of the room, while the mother stands in the center, not budging. The daughter makes a buzzing sound, and the father stomps out, left arm extended in front of him, the son comes out, gliding much faster than old pops, left arm also in front of him. The son keeps circling around the father, but the father keeps turning his upper body, and manages to keep his face turned towards his male progeny. The son moves in and the father greets him by swinging his right arm and hitting the son on the chest. The father keeps the right arm turning about and swinging as the son moves in. The son starts hitting his father just as father had been, and continues, hitting the son. Repeatedly, they strike each other. Though they are both getting hurt, the son falls first, as his resistance to the father's blows is lower than the father's resistance to the son's blows. The father keeps doing so until the daughter pulls him back, and counts down from ten, buzzing again.

The agent asks, "Is that it? That's the big attraction?"

The father replies, "Oh, there's more!" The father and son go back to by where they first made contact. They start again, hitting, but the son also starts pushing the father. The father stomps backwards to compensate and keeps hitting the son. Neverendingly hitting the son, with blows all over the body, the father continues hitting. The son keeps pushing, and eventually knocks the father over, but the father gets back up, using the right arm he hits with. Once back up, he resumes hitting. This keeps going, and once more, the son falls. The daughter comes out and counts down from ten, and buzzes.

"Before you say anything, it's not over yet" warns the father to the agent.

The two males go back to their opposite sides of the room. The father comes out as before, but the son faces away from the father, walking backwards, with an arm extending behind him. Once more they meet, and the son pushes him to the mother, who is poking her fingers out repeatedly, stabbling the dad. The father hits the son repeatedly as before, and hits him while sustaining the mother and son's hits. They keep beating each other up until the daughter buzzes once more.

The family members stand in a line and take a huge bow.

The agent sits there in silence for a long time. Finally, he says to the father, "That's one hell of an act. What do you call yourselves?"

"The Aristocrats."

[Fish Of Doom]

I'll try not to get covered in shit or get raped by a family member for the sake of entertainment and rip into his greasy saucepan-like design with a couple of well place shots with my axe. He's slow, I'm fast, I'll avoid his hammer of unimaginable terror and bury mine into him.

Since that rp was so short, I figured that I'd add this fun fact:

The original name for this bot was My Heart Is A Black Haunted Loom Weaving Jackets For Children Who Will Never Be Born, Oh My Hands Are Abandoned Factories Manufacturing Heart Break And Hate For The World, but it wouldn't fit on the side of the bot.